


I Loved You Before I Met You

by Terran Rivers (lovemesomecas94)



Category: Original Content
Genre: Emotional, Gay Love, Leaps of Faith, Loving With Everything They've Got, M/M, Original Story - Freeform, Overcoming Obstacles, Precious, Soulmates, True Love, super powers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-12
Updated: 2018-07-12
Packaged: 2019-06-09 12:20:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 28
Words: 80,924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15267390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovemesomecas94/pseuds/Terran%20Rivers
Summary: Kyler Wirim lived a normal life before the vision slammed into him that changed his life forever.  He saw what was to come, and he saw how it would end. He had to make a choice. He could experience an amazing relationship with a love so deep that it would change him in profound ways if only he overcame the fear of how it would end. Or, he could let fear win and end up in a relationship that wouldn't end in pain but spend the rest of his life knowing deep in his soul that he missed out on loving his true soulmate.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Once more, I'm not really sure what to rate this. There's some sex, a lot of swearing, that's basically as bad as it gets. As far as I remember (I wrote this awhile ago), it's not exactly vivid-detail, but if it is and you have a problem with it, lemme know (please, do so kindly), and I'll put up the proper warnings.

It seems to me that the most unexpected things happen during the most wonderful days. There I was, another day in Hawaii, just minding my own business while the other people around me were minding theirs. I was hanging out with my boyfriend, something I did often. It was a beautiful sunny day and the fact that Monday was so close bothered me none. Normally Mondays are something I dread, as do most people I believe, but nope, the world seemed just perfectly right. I was happy, they were happy, the weather seemed happy; until it just wasn't. I was leaning in to kiss my boyfriend, and the minute his lips touched mine, as they had thousands of times before in the six months we'd been together, the vision slammed into me, seizing every muscle in my body. The vision was not just one moment in time, but a whole lifetime of moments flashing rapidly before my eyes. It felt like someone had violently shoved memories into my head, memories that I didn't want; memories that were somehow  _mine_.

That wasn't even the worst part.

The worst part was the ending of the vision. It was the clearest part. It was a gloomy day, and apparently autumn, based on how the leaves were turning to those pretty colors. Rain was about to happen, I could smell it, but none of that was the focus of the vision. The focus was on this teenage boy lying before me (only he seemed so much older somehow) cradled in my arms as I sat on the hard sidewalk. He looked to be eighteen and I somehow knew that I was also eighteen in this vision, which meant this vision wasn't that far off into the future since I was, in the present, seventeen. In the vision, we were in some sort of neighborhood, the kind where there are houses all along both sides of the street so close to each other that they were almost touching, so I knew we must've been on the main land.

Where I sat with this boy in my arms, to the left of was a high white picket fence. Somehow that picket fence was important, but all I could focus on was how this guy I'd never before seen in the seventeen years I'd been alive was bleeding out in my arms; a cut or a gunshot wound, I couldn't tell. All I saw was the red blossoming from his stomach. He didn't have long, I knew, and I was absolutely devastated about it. The guy looked up at me suddenly and I looked into the most beautiful brown eyes I'd ever seen. They weren't your normal shade of brown. They held a strong golden tint within them, and I knew I'd spent many a moment just staring into those beautiful eyes. Then he reached up, firmly laid his hand against my left cheek, and uttered three last little words:

"I love you."

Just like that I was suddenly back in the present, on the beach with my current boyfriend (whom was not the same guy in the vision, in case I didn't make that clear) staring at me with a deeply concerned look on his face. I suddenly realized I had tears streaming down my cheeks, and that I was hyperventilating a bit too loudly; several other people were staring, too. Two of those people started running towards us. They were my parents. I scrambled to my feet as best I could, using muscles that were extremely shaky. I almost fell back down upon standing up but my mother had reached me in time to catch me. Dad was close behind.

"What happened??" he and mom chorused.

I suddenly got hit with the feeling that they already knew exactly what had just happened but I was still too freaked to talk, so dad went to asking my boyfriend, who was utterly clueless.

"I have no idea! We were just sitting here cuddling, I went in for a kiss which he leaned in for, and the second after our lips touched he froze up! I pulled away and he started twitching, staring off at the ocean looking like he wasn't really seeing the ocean but seeing something...else and I just...I don't know what I did! I swear I didn't touch him inappropriately. I'm so sorry!"

I watched the interaction from my mother's arms with my head against hers and I noted, with surprise, how dad didn't look the least bit angry.

"It's okay, bud. I doubt it was you." He cast a concerned glance towards me, and then met my boyfriend's gaze again, still not seeming angry. "How about you go get him a Pepsi? Here." He gave the guy a five dollar bill. There was a refreshment hut nearby. I watched as my boyfriend cast one sorrow-filled glance at me, clearly still blaming himself, and went off to get me my favorite soda.

By the time he was out of earshot, I had calmed down enough to speak.

"What'd you see?" My father asked gently.

I looked at him with utter surprise. I was also terribly confused about what the hell was happening to me.

"How'd you know?"

His wife let out a sigh, casting a glance at her husband.

"It's time, Sprue." Yeah, my father's name was Sprue.

Dad nodded.

"Listen, kiddo, we don't have much time before Gerry gets back so I can't give you all the details you need to know. For now, I will tell you that you have special powers, and that vision was just the start of 'em."

"Powers?" I echoed, utterly dumbfounded. Because being a gay seventeen year old male wasn't hard enough, apparently?!

In my peripheral I saw Gerry reappearing so I knew I had to table this and contain my utter shock before he saw my face. Dad, too, controlled his expression, and by the time Gerry arrived, I had separated from my mother's arms. I sent a tentative smile at my boyfriend who returned one back to me, his eyes screaming with concern.

"Here," he said gently.

"Thank you," I replied softly. I opened the soda, took a swig, and offered him some. He shook his head. I felt badly because he'd gotten just as scared as I had, and, I don't know...he deserved some care, too.

"Drink it," I told him, giving him my best attempt at a stern, no-nonsense expression.

He chuckled. "Really, Ky, it's okay."

My full name was Kyler Bryant Wirim; I hated the name Kyler...because...well...it sounded so much like a famous person's name, a person I hated even though I'd never met her. I know it's not logical but I've also never once mentioned that I was a logical person.

"Gerry, you were just as spooked," I said sternly. "Drink the god damn soda."

That got a few chuckles out of my parents and one out of my boyfriend as he  _finally_ took the soda from my hands.

"Alright, alright," he said, "since you put it so eloquently."

My parents laughed. I shook my head at him.

"Why do you always push me to the point of swearing before doing what I ask?"

He grinned at me.

"That's for me to know and you to never find out."

"Why you--!" Upon seeing the cap was fastened back onto the soda bottle I knocked it out of his hands and then tackled him to the sand. We wrestled around for a while until I grew tired and let him pin me to the ground. From there, after a kiss (no vision this time thank god) we decided to go swimming. My parents had walked off upon seeing that I was back to normal. Little did they know that despite how I was acting, however, I wasn't okay. I knew I'd never be the normal I'd taken for granted all these years; I was no longer who I'd been mere minutes prior and the change was only beginning. I could feel it as surely as my heart beating.


	2. Chapter 2

Around five that evening, Gerry went home (he lived half an hour away), and I went into my house with the intention of getting every last detail about my...condition...from my parents as I could, part of which would be demanding why the  _fuck_  they didn't warn me about it in the first place! When I arrived into the living room of our lovely beach house, they were already waiting for me. With as much calm poise as I believed I was mustering, I sat down in an arm chair adjacent to the couch upon which they sat.

"Okay," I said quietly.

"First, we need to know what you saw," my mother replied then.

"Why don't you tell me first what the hell this is, why me, and why now?"

They shared a glance. Dad spoke this time.

"We just thought you'd like to get what you saw off your chest. That way you will then have a clearer mind to absorb all we're about to tell you."

Ooh, I just  _loved it_ when they took turns! Okay so maybe I was in a bad mood at the moment.

I studied the pair, wondering briefly if I was really their child because god damn this was some kooky shit, but...I looked almost exactly like my mother and had my father's dark brown eyes so it was obvious I was their child. It was then my brain reluctantly conceded that they did, indeed, have a point. I was still freaking out about the vision, and the longer I held it in the more damage it was doing. All I wanted to do was wallow, which of course solved nothing, and raised so many more questions for which I hated not knowing the answers.

"Okay. I'll tell you." And so, I told them. I told them about the weather, the location, the smells, the sounds. I told them about the boy, the way he felt in my arms. I told them about how my heart shattered into the tiniest of bits, about pain so profound being caused by the death of this mystery guy. I told them about how I had some weird ass fascination with the white picket fence that we'd been near. I even told them about how, despite the fact that the guy was dying, I got lost in his golden brown eyes.

I cried again telling the story. It was hard not to cry when it was your own heart breaking, when you were utterly consumed with a pain and grief never before experienced in your life. Then, a sentence blurted out of me before I had a chance to stop it:

"I don't ever want to live on the main land."

Immediately followed by the thought:

_I am such a horrible human being._

My parents looked sympathetic.

"Well, son, we currently have no plans to live on the main land while that idiot is president," my father assured me.

That was a relief. Especially since the guy recently got elected just this year SO we had four years before the possibility of moving, which meant the vision would not come to pass.

Thank God.

Of course that just raised another question.

"Therefore, the vision can't possibly come true, so why did I see it?"

"That's the kicker," my mom said, "It looks like that's a vision of your soul mate. Everyone in this family has a vision of us meeting our soul mate so we know we're close to whom we're to be with, thus following the plan fate has laid out for us, but never before has the vision showed such a violent death. That's what we can't figure out."

Leave it to me to be the first.

"Well, tell me what you do know. Why do we have these powers?"

Dad spoke.

"We don't know  _why_  we have these powers either, just that it started way back when America was still undiscovered. Maybe it's to do with our genetics, specifically our brains, maybe this family can unlock a portion of our brain that normal humans can't. I do know that it usually starts anywhere between when puberty starts and age twenty-five. There might be more visions now that you're receiving, but the first one is always of the one you're destined to see because that person is the one who will help you become the best you can be, to really reach your full potential. Usually, they will have powers of their own. We usually have that vision when we're close to meeting them, hence why yours took place only a year from now."

"Are visions the only power I have?"

"No, son; once you see the vision of your soul mate, things start to click into place. I'm not sure what your other powers will be but I imagine they'll be strong, as both your mother and I are gifted."

"And they'll really start to come in fully once your soul mate is in your life."

Dad nodded his agreement. "Yes, exactly; the second you meet your soulmate however you're meant to meet him, he will be the catalyst to your powers as you'll be the catalyst to his."

"But clearly I meet him on the main land and we have no plans to go there."

Mom took an interest in this.

"What makes you think you meet him there?"

"I...uhm..." That was a good question. "Just a feeling."

They exchanged another glance.

"What now?" I asked.

"Well, it's just, in the vision we are never shown  _where_ precisely we're meeting the soulmate, basically just the situation in which we meet them," dad explained.

"Maybe our powers are evolving?" I suggested.

I was surprised when neither of them laughed.

"It's possible," dad mused.

Mom nodded her agreement.

Silence gripped the room. Then a question hit me.

"Am I supposed to be a hero or something?"

This time they laughed.

"No, honey," my mother said, calming down first.

"Although some have been documented as using their powers for the greater good, usually it's just a personal thing," my father said. "There's no great big bad guy. Of course, you're proving to be different so who the hell knows?"

"I'm scared," I told them, surprised I actually admitted it.

"Oh, baby," mom crooned.

"What are you scared of?" Dad asked, looking suddenly like a scientist to me.

"Well, way you tell it, nobody's had a vision of their soul mate dying, and I don't..." I suddenly needed a calming breath, "I don't want to be the first. It's not fair."

"Let's try this: review the series of events leading up to his death. There may be a point in time that's the point of no return that you can change."

I stared, gaping, at the man. Was he insane?! That was one whole fucking year of very detailed, drawn-out memories! It felt like a lifetime.

Dad smiled.

"You can do it, kiddo. Just be patient. It'll take some time. In the meantime, are there any other questions you have for us?"

I shook my head, zoning out with my gaze upon the wall opposite of me, my brain trying desperately to figure out that point of no return.


	3. Chapter 3

Over the following days, I walked around in a daze, still trying and failing to find that one moment in time that would save that guy's life. I was feeling useless, hopeless, and edging into desperate. My mother came to me Tuesday evening when I had gone to my spot after dinner. There was a boulder near the beach that I liked to sit on, and watch the waves crash to the shore. The rock was big enough for two; mom sat to my left.

"It'll come to you, sweetheart," she said softly as she put an arm around me. I leaned into her embrace, felt the tears well up and let them roll down my cheeks.

"There's a piece missing, mom."

"What do you mean?"

"The vision shows me our life together for the year we spend before he dies but it doesn't show me how I meet him. The reason why I said I felt like I met him on the mainland was because that's where the year takes place...I think. Either way, I think how I meet him is the point of no return. Mom, the guy's fate is gonna be sealed the second he meets me." I looked at her as more tears rolled down my cheek. "I'm the reason he dies."

"Shhhhh, baby," she stroked my hair with one hand, rubbed my left arm with the other. "You can't think like that."

"How else am I supposed to think?? Everything points to him dying because he meets me. He doesn't meet me, he won't die!"

She pulled back and took my face into her hands.

"How do you know that, Ky? How do you know he won't die if he doesn't meet you?"

A tear from each eye hit her hands.

"Maybe the point is not that he dies. That may be the constant. Maybe there's a lesson to be learned here, in...in how to love with everything you've got with what little time you two have to be together. Maybe the point is to not let fear consume you. Honey, maybe you teach him something valuable. Maybe it teaches you both. I don't know. But you cannot blame yourself. You do not kill him. He dies in your arms not by your hands."

I buried my face against her neck.

"I don't want him to die at all!"

She held me.

"I know, baby. I know." She let out a sigh as she began to rock me.

Later on that night, after I got into bed, I cried myself to sleep over a guy I'd never met.

The following day, Wednesday, the unexpected struck again, in a huge way. I was with the boyfriend on the beach, fooling around. It seemed to be just us two at the moment and given that it was about ten in the morning that actually made sense. It wasn't a vision that struck, though. It happened just as things started to, erm, heat up between the two of us. One second my mind was entirely consumed with raging hormones and the next, I could hear someone screaming for help. I should've known what was coming the minute the person's screams overpowered my own hormones. I admit I shoved Gerry off a bit too roughly but it was like I'd been possessed. Someone was in trouble, and I just  _had_ to save them.

The person in trouble was in the water like I'd expected but not as far out as I'd imagined. Of course, that was mostly because he'd gotten caught in a fisherman's line and it'd happened no more than a minute ago. Some of the fishermen here leave their poles partially buried in the sand with the line cast out in case they caught something while they took a bathroom break or something. I wasn't sure where this particular fisherman had gone, but more often than not, swimmers didn't see the lines, and in a panic get all wrapped up in the line which puts them immediately at risk for drowning. The tide was still pretty strong at the moment, and eventually the guy would be dragged out farther into deeper waters unable to stay afloat.

"Hold on!" I screamed, water splashing with every step as I raced to the guy starting to go under. I got to him just as his head disappeared beneath the surface, grabbed part of the line that held him prisoner and started making my way back to the beach. His head broke the surface mere seconds after I'd started my efforts, but I was too busy focusing on the destination to see his face. He was too busy coughing to speak.

When I got to the beach, we took a moment to catch our breaths.

"Th-thank you," the guy rasped. That's when our eyes met.

My heart immediately sank like lead into my stomach upon seeing the beautiful golden tint in those wonderful brown eyes.

This was the guy.

 _This_ was the missing piece, the point of no return.

"Oh god," I groaned. "Oh, no."

"Wha...what's wrong?" He cast a glance at himself, and then looked back at me. "My swim trunks are intact. I..." I stood up, my mind reeling. "Hey!" he exclaimed as I started to move away. "Where are you going?! Hey!! I'm still trapped!"

I couldn't get out of my daze as I started to pace the beach. Maybe it wasn't too late. Maybe...maybe this was the choice I could make. Maybe I could prevent us from being friends.

"Kyler! Gerry!" My dad's voice boomed. "What's going on?!"

I sank to my knees as yesterday's vision hit me again, this time showing the missing piece of the puzzle. I saw all of it all over again, right up to the grisly, heart-wrenching ending. Only it was worse this time, because now I  _knew_ all of it was definitely going to happen.

"Kyler," my dad's voice sounded faintly. I watched through an unfocused haze as life unfolded around me. Dad noticed the man stuck on the beach, who was begging for someone, anyone, to help him before the ocean sucked him back out again (ridiculous because he was too far away from the water for it to possibly reach him even a little), looked back at me, and I saw that his mind had just made the connection. He launched into action as Gerry asked what he could do to help.

"Gerry...elp...there....n my tru...o." My brain registered only part of the words.

Gerry took off while dad knelt in front of me and took my face in his hands.

"Son...cus. Look at... Ky...ook...eathe...ple...reathe!"

It felt like hours of sound cutting in an out, of seeing but not seeing, of my mind seemingly trapped in a place where time moved much more slowly. In reality it was probably mere seconds.

Randomly...just like that...sound returned all at once and I was able to focus. Dad was looking a mighty bit panicked. I didn't blame him.

I blinked rapidly, and took in my surroundings. I saw Gerry helping the guy and realized it'd been more than just a few seconds that I'd been stuck. I focused back on my father, suddenly aware that my cheeks were soaked and that I was hyperventilating again.

"D...dad...he...I...dad..." the last word came out as a low pitched whine of despair.

"I know, hon, I know. You just gotta breathe." He hugged me to his chest.

I looked over at Gerry still working on freeing the guy, who was most definitely, one hundred percent  _the guy_. I had just doomed him, and he didn't even know it.

"I...I couldn't...let him...He...I..."

_This is the moment._

_The point of no return._

_It is done._

_Saving his life was the moment you sealed his fate._

_Saving his life is what kills him._

"It's okay. Breathe, Ky. Just breathe." Blackness started to creep into my vision. "Ky? Ky!" I didn't fight it. I couldn't fight it.

When I awoke again, I noted it was much cooler than my last surroundings had been, and a lot more...soft. The light was the same, so it didn't take me long to see that I was back at the house in the gazebo on a lounge chair. Mom sat beside me to my right, her eyes on dad who stood gazing out into the yard. They were speaking softly; too softly for me to hear properly.

I let out a little groan to let them know I was awake, and simultaneously mom looked at me while dad flocked to my other side, opposite to mom.

"Hey, honey," mom said gently.

"What happened?" I asked. Though I already knew; I just wanted to be in denial a little bit longer before dealing with... _that_.

"You passed out, sweetie."

"Please tell me it was just a dream."

Both of them were staring at me with agonized looks on their faces. They didn't want me to go through it all any more than I did, and I realized it was going to be hard on them, too. Their only child was about to have his heart ripped out, replaced with the worst pain there is out there, all barely after he'd graduated high school. He was going to know life long before he'd even gotten out in the world to live it.

I sighed when neither of them spoke, and closed my eyes again. When I felt their panic, I assured them I was just resting.

"I don't know what to do," I told them then. "I don't understand why fate would deny me the very piece that I needed to save his life entirely."

"We don't either, son, but the only way to find out is to go through."

I opened my eyes. "Or, I could just avoid the guy."

Mom moved some hair out of my eyes.

"You know that's not going to work, sweetheart."

"Worth a try," I told her. "I'll just never leave the house." I sat up suddenly as a thought occurred to me. "Gerry!"

"He's home. Dying to know if you're okay, but he's home."

"What the hell am I gonna tell him?!"

My parents shrugged (gee, thanks a lot guys), and then asked if I wanted anything. I told them not really, and then informed them that I'd be okay on my own now, hinting that I'd like to be alone. They caught the hint; each gave my head a tender kiss and headed back into the house to let me alone to think. Somewhere in my mind there was a key to saving this guy's life despite being past the point of no return.

 _There had to be a way_.


	4. Chapter 4

**_September 4, 2018_ **

It'd been two months of successfully avoiding running into the guy I'd saved on the beach, and I was starting to be convinced that avoiding him was the key to saving his life. Okay, so that was bullshit, but still, denial was my friend. Denial didn't make me feel the pain I was going to feel, and not feeling that pain was bliss.

Of course, denial entirely stopped working the minute I walked into that high school lobby on the first day of my senior year. Drawn to him by invisible forces, he was the first person I spotted in the crowd, a feat otherwise impossible for me to do. Apparently the same forces had him watching for me, though I would bet my entire bank account that he had no idea what was driving him to do so, or why. So, the very moment I saw him was the same exact second he saw me, and the very second I knew we were fucked; it was also the second that I had to face that avoiding him wasn't going to work.

He picked up his bag then slid one strap over his shoulder as he made his way over to me. I was screaming in my mind at my feet to move me to anywhere but here, but stayed put they did, the betraying little fuckers. It was not lost on me how thoroughly I enjoyed watching how the guy walked, or how he'd slid his bag so smoothly onto his shoulder, or how he held it there with one hand, or how his eyes never left me as he made his way seamlessly through the throng of teenagers. Every bit of my attention was stuck entirely on him, and I fucking loved it. I wanted to hate it, I desperately wanted to fight it, but god only knew what it was that made me so helpless the minute I was aware of this guy's presence.

"Hi," he said upon reaching where I stood.

Even his voice made me want to melt.

I was vaguely aware that I'd replied, but I had no idea what I'd said. Whatever it was made him smile a little bit.

"So, I tried to find you after you saved my life."

"Uh-huh."

"You disappeared."

"Got busy."

"Ah. You weren't avoiding me or anything?"

Something warned me to snap out of my reverie, and  _now._

It wasn't easy, though, especially since seconds after the warning I noticed his soft, pink lips that no doubt would deliver a kiss that would be heaven, and I desperately wanted to feel them on mine.

Realize he was waiting for me to reply, I forced myself back half a step which helped only minimally. It was just enough to get me a teeny bit of focus.

"Why would I avoid you?"

"That's what I've been asking myself all summer. You had the weirdest fucking reaction the minute you met my eyes."

 _Ooooh_ , I moaned inwardly,  _those beautiful eyes_...Ugh, why'd he have to bring them up?!

"Sugar low," I lied.

His eyes, his beautiful golden eyes, expressed his disbelief.

"Sugar low, eh? And, uh, did you have one all summer?"

"No. L-like I said. I got busy."

"Mm-hmm. Let's cut the shit. You were avoiding me. I want to know why. Did I offend you in some way?"

Suddenly the spell was broken, momentarily, and I was able to really, clearly see the guy standing before me. He was six feet four inches (I was five feet ten inches), he had luscious, but short, dark brown hair with a hint of gold in them (much like his eyes; I wasn't surprised). He was well built but not ripped. He dressed well, had clear skin, a rounded chin, a semi-prominent adam's apple, a semi-wide nose, and two teeth on the top row were crooked, though all his teeth were white (I'd noticed that in the two seconds he had smiled earlier, again something I wouldn't have noticed with any other person). I loved every single inch of him, and I'd only just met him. It was fucking  _kooky_.

"No, you didn't offend me," I told him.

"Then why were you avoiding me?"

"Why do you think I was avoiding you?" I shot back, trying to psychologically outwit him.

"I saw you there a lot, before you saved me, but as soon as your eyes met my mine and you freaked out, you stopped going."

I slid my hands into the front pockets of my jeans, trying desperately to think up a reason that would satisfy his question.

All I managed to think of was a shrug.

The bell rang just as he angrily pointed a finger at me (no, not his middle finger), which he promptly withdrew.

He leaned in then, and I started to lose focus once more.

"This is not over," he said in a low, sexy, growl-like voice, then turned on his heel and stalked towards the guidance office. I swallowed hard, suddenly painfully aware of just how my body had reacted.

This was going to be a really long year.

I didn't see him again until after school, where he found me sitting in my usual spot on the bleachers reading a book (first day of school; I didn't have homework thus I could just chill). In a few days there'd be a team practicing football and it'd be noisy as hell but I'd still come here to do my homework.

I suppose "found me" is a bit of a lie, because the way he strolled right in and then directly to me told me he already knew I'd be exactly here. I decided to play dumb because I figured maybe, just maybe, if he didn't know about my powers he might just stay alive. It was a bullshit long shot, but it was all I had left.

"How'd you find me?" I asked him when he plopped down beside me.

"Why were you avoiding me?" he shot back.

Two seconds in, already at an impasse. I went back to the book I was reading; deciding silence was the best course of action.

I was wrong.

"Damn it, I don't like people who play games with me!"

I looked at him.

"I'm not playing games with you!"

"Then why the hell won't you answer my question?"

Gah!

"Because!"

"Because why??"

I came  _so close_ to telling him, but instead I just uttered a low growl-like noise, muttered at him to leave me alone, and went back to reading my book.

He proceeded to then knock that out of my hands.

" _My life is not a toy for you to play around with!_ "

The words slammed into me so hard I nearly fell off the bench. Slowly, I looked at him, seeing the fire in those golden eyes of his, and I suddenly knew he knew. He knew everything.

"How?" I asked him.

"Same way you know who I am." With that, all the facades dropped as I realized then that I'd forgotten the most important fact my parents had told me when they'd explained all of this to me:

My soul mate would most likely have powers, too.

He let out a sigh when I didn't speak again. I wanted to speak, by God I did, but I had no idea what the hell to say. Turns out I needn't have worried about it; he talked first.

"I was minding my business one day, the day as normal as the ones before it, when suddenly a vision slammed into me." His eyes met mine. "I saw that we met somehow. I saw how the following year is gonna go. I saw you die."

Those last four words caused me to gasp aloud.

"Wait. You saw  _me_ die?" I demanded.

"I knew it!" He exclaimed then.

My heart mewled in agony and suddenly I needed to be anywhere other than  _here_. I got up and started down the stairs between the rows of seats in the bleachers. He was right behind me, but I didn't care. I needed to go to my spot. I needed the ocean; the smells of it, the sight of the waves crashing to the shore. It was a reminder that there was turmoil going on everywhere, especially if it seemed like I was the only one really going through it.

At the spot, I didn't sit on the rock, but waited for my body to sense that he was near. When it did, I turned, and I let it all out.

"What you call playing games is what  _I_  call trying to save your god damn life, Michael! I don't know why you die, I don't know why meeting me leads to your death, and I don't know how to fucking stop it! I'm sorry if I'm not exactly keen on spending a year falling in love with you just to watch you bleed out in my arms, utterly helpless to stop it from happening! I thought maybe avoiding you would save your life! Clearly that was wrong! So I thought maybe if you didn't know I had powers then maybe you'd live! Something about me kills you and I just...I ju..I can't..." the breath left me again as another panic attack struck.

Michael wordlessly drew me into his arms and did this massage thing with my back, a specific pattern I mean, that had me regaining the ability to breathe within seconds of the panic attack starting. It was the very same pattern my mother had used on me as a child when I suffered the panic attacks often.

"How'd you know?" I mumbled into his neck.

"The same way I know where you'd be after school. The way I know you saw me die. I had the same vision of you, Kyler. You seem to think you're the only one going through this but you're not. You're not the only one freaking out. I just don't think avoiding the problem is going to make it go away."

Slowly, I looked up at him, noting how entirely comfortable I was being this close to a guy I shouldn't know this well. A year's worth of memories had us entirely bonded before we'd even met in real life. Did he realize how fucked up that was?

He held my gaze, his own gentle, understanding; nurturing, even.

"I understand your terror, Kyler. I felt the same punch to the gut the moment our eyes met that you did. I know you're wondering how the hell it's all worth it if all it results in is agony, but I just get the feeling that there's more to this than that. There's a bigger picture here that we're too close to right now to see it properly."

It was then I noticed just how close  _we_ were, and how much closer we were getting since the both of us seemed to be leaning towards each other. Neither of us stopped the kiss from happening. The moment those lips touched mine I learned what it was to kiss your soul mate for the first time, to kiss the one you're without a doubt meant to be with, to kiss your perfect half. There are no words to describe it. I just...the best I can do is say it was like everything just stopped. The noises around us stopped. The smells stopped. The thoughts running incessantly in my mind stopped. Time stopped. It was literally just us, and that was the only thing I cared about; which is pretty much why I never noticed my actual boyfriend standing a few feet away watching as I kissed a guy that wasn't him.

"So, what do we do now?" I asked Michael when the kiss came to its natural end; its sweet, sweet gentle end.

"Well, for starters, I think you're going to need to talk to Gerry."

That's when I felt his presence without looking. I still looked, of course, and immediately felt guilty—as I deserved—for the look of absolute heartbreak on his face.

I left Michael where he was and slowly made my way over to Gerry, whom, for some reason, hadn't run off yet.

"So, is that why you weren't available all summer?" he asked.

I realized he'd just provided me exactly the lie I needed. I didn't want to lie to him, but the truth was too much for him to handle, and I think in the long run this way would be a cleaner break, especially for his heart.

I nodded silently.

Gerry held up pretty well, honestly. Those tears were barely held back but held back nonetheless.

"You could've just told me you didn't want to be with me anymore," he said quietly.

"I'm sorry I handled this really badly."

His blue eyes burned into mine. Apparently I had just triggered him. Hurt was now anger. Great.

"Oh, you're sorry about  _that,_  are you? Not sorry about cheating on me. Not sorry about not loving me anymore!"

I knew now that I never  _really_ loved him. I mean, not true love kind of loved.

"You deserve better," I said simply.

His knee collided with my groin. My legs gave out instantly as I cried out from the pain that surged up my very spine.

"You're a fucking asshole, Kyler. Thanks for wasting my time!" He kicked some sand towards my face, but that was something I had sensed he'd do, so I'd closed my eyes in time. It was when I heard a zipper release that I tried to move out of the way. I'd sensed  _that_  thought as well but I didn't think he'd actually  _do it_.

"Woah, woah, woah!" Michael's voice boomed. "Too far, Gerry! Put it away."

 _Oh, God_ , I thought. I didn't look. I didn't want to know how close he'd come to actually pissing on me.

Michael stepped over me and stood blocking Gerry's aim at me. He was a good six inches taller than my ex, but my ex was nothing if not fierce.

"Give me one damned reason why I shouldn't piss on the both of you?!"

"It makes you a monster, Gerry; no better than, say, Hitler. You want to be like Hitler, Gerry?"

The little gasp and the following zipper noise told me Michael had pressed exactly the right button right on the first try. So, that must've been a power of his, sensing what buttons will make people back down. Or something like that.

"That wasn't cool," Gerry muttered.

"No, it wasn't, but pissing on someone isn't cool, either. I understand you're hurt, Gerry, and racking Kyler was the appropriate response, but you need to leave it at that and go home. Mend your broken heart. Find the one you're meant to be with."

"You can say all that shit because your heart wasn't broken. You get the prize."

"Kyler is not a prize. He's not some possession. He's a human being. You two weren't meant to be together. It happens. And for the record, my heart's about to be a whole helluva lot more broken than yours ever will be so don't fucking lecture me about pain. You'll be lucky enough to never know the agony of a truly shattered heart. Now," his voice suddenly changed, " _go home_."

Gerry turned on his heel and stalked off without further argument. So, Michael could control people with his voice. Neat!

He turned around and helped me to my feet.

"So, how long have you had other powers?" I asked him.

"The moment your feet touched the water when you raced to save me; it felt like an electric jolt. I can sense what you're feeling, I can control people if I change my voice slightly, I can sense exactly the right combination of words that will get people to back down, and the vision you already know about, though I don't know if I'll have more of those or not."

And here all I had was just the one vision and  _maybe_ able to sense intentions if the person was close enough. It'd been two months since I'd had the first vision so I wasn't sure, either, if I had visions as a power.

"Where the hell are my powers?" I grumbled.

Michael smiled. "Oh, believe me, they're close. You're not quite...ready...yet."

"And what makes you so damn special?"

He laughed. "Come on, you big baby, let's get you some ice. You're going to introduce me to those parents of yours." With an arm around me and my arm around him, he helped me up the slope to the grass.

"Shouldn't we wait until we go on a date, or four, first?" I asked him.

"Mm, we could, but I'd rather not waste time if all we've got is a year."

"And to think my biggest concern when I woke up today was bullies," I grumbled.

Michael chuckled and pressed a kiss to my head.


	5. Chapter 5

Walking through the kitchen entrance with Michael holding my hand was not exactly the way I had wanted to introduce him to my parents. I had wanted to go in first, and then signal for Michael to come in when my parents were ready, but Michael had the patience of a two year old. He wanted no time wasted. I understood what he was getting at way too well but I just...it was all so  _fast_.

My parents took it well, at least. They welcomed him warmly and then wanted to know about him. Of course, despite having just started talking with him this morning, I knew everything about him. Because the memories of our year together were seared into my brain as the most important details I'd ever learn in my life. There was the nagging thought that it was being done this way specifically for a reason, but when I tried to focus on that thought, it ran from me. It also occurred to me that the memories told me everything I needed to know about the guy, but were not predetermined plans for our actions. Already we were working at a much faster pace than that of the memories. Yet I had no problem with it. Deep within me I knew free will was still in play.

"Will you be staying with us, Michael?" My mother asked half an hour into getting to know the love of my life. We were all in the living room now since it was a much more comfortable place to chat.

Notice how she hadn't tacked on "for dinner" at the end of that. I started to panic a little bit, but Michael was nothing if not graceful.

"Well, I imagine given a little time I might spend a wee bit more time over here than I should, but as of right now, no, I won't be staying here."

"Michael, could I see you in the kitchen for a moment?" My dad asked.

I sighed.

"Here we go," I mumbled. My mother nudged me.

Michael gave my medium-length-auburn-tinted-brown-hair an affectionate stroke shortly before he got up and followed my father into the kitchen. It was then I discovered my first power: I had superman's hearing when I wanted it.

_Dad: "So, Michael, from what I hear of what's gone down, you're a no-nonsense kind of guy. That's good. You'll appreciate, then, if I cut right to the chase and ask what your intentions are with my son?"_

_Michael: "Sir, you know I'm his mate. And though I am acting like I'm rushing everything because we only have a year together, I assure you with certain...areas...of our relationship I will take it slow. I don't intend to just jump into bed with him and that be the only thing we do. I will be taking him on dates, and romancing him. I'll make him smile, and I'll make him laugh. I'll give him plenty of little kisses as much as I give him long ones. Every move I make, I'll triple check to make sure he's okay with. Your son will be thoroughly loved, sir. He'll be thoroughly respected. We will be doing only what he's comfortable doing and no more. I swear my life on it."_

I winced at those last words. Mom gave me a sympathetic look.

_Dad: Well, I don't see any reason to doubt you. Still, as the father, it's my duty to warn you that if you break my baby boy's heart, if you hurt him in any way, or do anything against his will, I will hunt you the fuck down and make you wish you'd never been born._

_Michael: I completely understand, sir._

_Dad: Are you afraid of me, Michael?_

_Michael: Honestly? Yeah, a little._

_Dad laughed. "Very good. A little fear's good for everyone. Let's get back to the living room. I'm sure we're making him anxious enough as it is._

Michael just chuckled softly. Seconds later he walked into the living room after my father and came over to me. I could feel the pull towards him, and I didn't resist it. As soon as he sat down, I scooted over to his side, put both my arms around his waist, and rested my head against the crook of his armpit. He held me against him, of course, and already knew I'd heard every word.

"I told you so," he murmured.

"Shut up," I mumbled.

I overheard my mother whispering to my father about Michael being "properly warned". Dad assured her he was more than properly warned.

I let out a soft sigh, so thoroughly embarrassed. Parents, man.

"Michael, are you staying for dinner?" My mother asked then.

"Actually, ma'am, I was wondering if I could take your son out to dinner tonight and then to a movie. We'll be back by ten, I promise."

"Well, Sprue, what do you think?" my mother asked. 

"Well, Arielle, I think we should give the boy the freedom to make his own choices. He's seventeen, after all."

The pair smiled a bit too much at us. I saw that though they'd known this was coming, they were still scared about it.

"Michael would die protecting me," I told them. "I'm safe."

At this he tightened his arms around me and that's when I knew he'd seen a moment in time a year from now where I hadn't be safe, or he'd been powerless to keep me protected. I'd have to ask him about it.

For the time being, I decided I wanted to change my clothes if we were going to go out. When I mentioned this, they laughed at me and teased me, but I knew they all loved me dearly. I wanted Michael to follow me up to my bedroom, but he stayed put in the living room. It was when I reached my room that I realized if he'd followed me, we'd never get outside the bedroom. Part of me thrilled at the prospect, but a bigger part of me knew our bond came from our moments spent together doing little things like eating or watching a movie, not from making love, though I was sure that'd happen eventually. I knew it was important to bond over the little things. I couldn't pinpoint why I knew they were the most important part of the relationship, but my brain would not stop strongly reiterating their importance.

It was kind of annoying, actually.

Anyways, I found the outfit I wanted, and yes, I put on more deodorant than I needed, and some cologne. After that, I spent a good three minutes thoroughly flossing and brushing my teeth, and then rinsing my mouth out with mouth wash. I knew Michael would desire me if I came down wearing sweats, my hair a mess, and my breath smelling of garlic but still I felt the need to impress him with good grooming habits.

Overall I was gone for fifteen minutes, but when I returned, all three of them acted like I'd been gone for hours. Michael came over as my parents continued to carry on, and gave me a passionate kiss right in front of them. It must've been something to see because my parents shut up seconds after his lips made contact with mine. Maybe it was the way I reacted. I kind of threw my arms around his neck and I would've jumped up into his arms if the sudden silence hadn't reminded me that we were not alone. Michael seemed to suffer from the same desire because he pulled me in tight against his body, holding me very willing prisoner there.

We broke apart just as dad started to clear his throat.

"That'll teach you guys to joke around," I told them, my voice coming out a little thick. My face felt like it was burning and I held no doubts that it was red.

Michael cleared his throat suddenly, and seemed like he was trying to get his full attention back on everything in the room that wasn't me.

"We should get going. It's starting to get late."

A glance at my watch told me it was six. I looked up at him with slight confusion.

"If I know you like I think I do the movie we're gonna want to see shows at seven," he explained.

"Ahh. Okay. And, uhm, how do we get there?" Unlike the high school, the theater was kind of out of walking distance. Okay, so I was lazy.

"Take my car," my mother said, getting up and heading over to the stand beside the door where they put their keys. She walked back over to us, and handed Michael the keys, whom then handed me the keys.

"Me?" I asked.

"You got a brand new license burning a hole in that wallet of yours. It's time you put it to some use."

"Just be careful," my parents chorused.

"Always," we chorused back. Michael led me by the hand out of the house. Confusion about the entire situation had completely given way to excitement. It was so easy to just get caught up in the moment. I could even almost forget about how this was all going to end in a year.

We arrived at the restaurant fifteen minutes later, and got seated within two despite the full house because Michael used the voice. I admit I felt guilty at first, but I figured the other couples probably had more than one year to be together, so they could wait a little longer.

At the booth, after the waiter took our drink orders, Michael slid on over to me until his leg touched mine, and then opened up a menu as if this was any other night. My heart kept humming every time he touched me, and I desperately wanted to know if it was the same for him.

"Why do you think I keep touching you?" he said then.

I set down my menu and looked at him.

"Can you hear my thoughts or something?"

He looked amused. "No, I can't. Our bond enables us to know how the other is feeling, down to specifics if we so choose to search deeper. First you were feeling excited, and then you were feeling kind of confused which quickly gave way to sort of curious. I looked deeper and there it was, you wondering if I felt the same thing you do." He kissed my head again. "Trust me. I love you just as much as you love me. Maybe more."

"Maybe more my ass," I muttered.

His leg nudged mine playfully. My heart just hummed away.

We moved on to other topics, both of us noticing the ease with which we spoke to each other. For dinner he ordered a buffalo chicken salad (the lettuce-variety salad, not the kind of salad where you cut up the chicken and mix it in with onions and mayonnaise and that kind of thing), and I ordered straight up fried chicken with a side of hush puppies. If we were gonna die in a year—which reminded me I needed to ask him how I die—we might as well live to the fullest. Or, at least, that's how I saw it.

After dinner we shared a dessert, which had us laughing quite a bit. Some couples around us smiled at our laughter, others gave us  _the look_  that people like us so often got. It didn't dampen our mood one bit, and once the dessert was gone, we split the bill, left the appropriate tip and then some, and were on our way to the movie theater. We walked there since it was only two blocks away from the restaurant we'd chosen and because it was such a nice night. The moon was out; the stars were seen due to clear skies. The world seemed so quiet, but I think in reality I was just caught up in the moment with him and was zoning out all the other noises that didn't pertain to us.

We talked of everything right up to the movie starting. We talked of animals, of humans, of events in history that we could remember, of our favorite subjects in school, of subjects we hated, of past relationships, of past crushes, of celebrity crushes, of passions, of fears. Then when the movie started and the lights dimmed, suddenly the air between us felt electric. Every bone and nerve in my body wanted to jump his, and that honestly scared me. I'd never felt feelings so intense before and I was still convinced that despite my body screaming to go ahead, I wasn't quite ready emotionally for something so meaningful.

Michael, of course, knew all of this.

"You're safe with me," he murmured just loud enough for me to hear but not loud enough to disturb the other viewers. "I won't touch you anywhere you don't want to be touched."

"Well, I wanna cuddle," I told him.

"But of course," he murmured back, sliding his arm around my shoulders. This theater had couple seating throughout it, so there was no arm rest between us. It was just like cuddling on a couch at home. The electricity I felt seemed to get worse and worse though, until I felt like I was gonna burst if he didn't touch me elsewhere. Sensing this, he spoke a few words using the voice and had my body calming down to bearable levels. Of course, the boner had a mind of its own, but we both ignored it. It always went away after a while and this time was no different. After the movie, however, we talked about what had happened.

"So, that was intense," he stated as the cool air hit our faces as we exited the building. It felt so nice.

"I don't think it's supposed to be  _that_ intense."

"Oh, I dunno. I was feeling a bit of that earlier; hence why I didn't follow you up to that bedroom of yours."

My stomach clenched. It was an uneasy feeling of sorts yet wasn't at the same time. It was like: oh my god the pressure of us having sex and doing it right and making him feel good but also, oh my god he  _wants me like that_.

"Do you think we'll get used to this?" I asked him.

"Oh, no doubt about it, we will. It's just our first day. We're still learning each other."

"Which is funny, really, because we have the knowledge."

"Yes, but having the knowledge and experiencing it in real life are two very different things. You know, I very nearly broke my promise not to touch you below the waist. You were just emitting pheromones like crazy."

"Yet with two words with the voice you calmed me down."

"Mm, because it occurred to my memory that I had it, which triggered my conscience into telling me it'd be best to use it or we were going to make a mess that both of us would be entirely embarrassed about. Even then it almost occurred to my memory too late. That's my point, though. I had the knowledge but real life had me nearly forgetting it all. I think we should avoid small enclosed spaces for a while."

"Aw, shoot," I said, feigning distress, "there goes my plans to sleep in a tent under the stars tonight."

Michael laughed. "Keep the wise cracks comin', smart ass, but someday you'll see what it's like, and you're gonna be glad it didn't happen on the first day in that movie theater."

"Have you had sex before?" I asked him.

"I have."

"Oh."

He stopped to face me, having felt the pressure I had just dumped on myself. I couldn't help it. Sex was this big thing for me and I just...it tapped directly into my self-confidence, of which I had little.

"It's okay, Ky."

I took a breath. "I know, I know. I just. I know." I knew that with him, I'd forget all the fears I had rattling around in my brain at the moment. I knew it'd be amazing, and wonderful, and one of the best things I'd ever experience but it  _was_ a ways off and until then these fears were not going to shut up.

"I can help with that."

I met his gaze.

"Come here."

I moved into his arms, rested my head against his shoulder, and waited. He took a deep, calming breath, and then started another massage pattern on my back, different than the one he used for my panic attack. This one had my brain shutting up within seconds, which had the rest of my coiled muscles relaxing. Involuntarily I let out a low, happy moan.

Anxiety had held onto me so tight since I'd been a preteen, and I had come to accept the fact that I'd live with it for the rest of my life yet here I was, entirely anxiety free all because of a few choice touches on my back.

"I love you," I mumbled, then briefly wondered if I'd just said it way too soon.

Michael stopped the massage (the two seconds during which I started to panic) to wrap his arms around me nice and tight (I relaxed).

"I love you, too," he replied with ease. My heart hummed right on schedule.


	6. Chapter 6

We went home shortly after that, parked the car in the garage, and said hello to my parents around nine-thirty. Then we walked the half a mile to the beach, where we sat in the sand with our backs to my rock, cuddling again. I had always known the beach was a magical place, but I hadn't known its true magical potential until tonight. Things were clicking so well into place with a guy I'd started talking to only this morning all because whatever that be had seen fit to bring us together like this.

Nothing extraordinary happened in the half hour we cuddled there. It was just him and me enjoying Mother Nature at her finest. It was a simple moment wrapped in utter affection. Then he walked me home, kissed me goodnight on the doorstep, wished me sweet dreams, and went on his way home, which so happened to be just down the street. It made me realize he probably had known back then where I'd lived and yet, when I was avoiding him, he'd never just shown up at my door. It was like he knew the exactly the moments when to go fast and when to slow down, keeping the perfect balance that kept us together in harmony.

I randomly realized I never got to ask him how I died. I'd have to tomorrow. For tonight I was so blissed out that, after I got ready for bed, I conked out as my head hit the pillow and had the best night's sleep I'd had in years.

The following morning I woke feeling panicked and not knowing why. In just PJ bottoms (no shirt) I rushed down the stairs to figure out what the hell was freaking me out. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary here and that's when it dawned on me that the thing that was wrong wasn't happening  _here_. It was happening at Michael's house; to Michael. I bolted out of my house and ran up the street just as fast as my legs could carry me which, I discovered, could carry me faster than they could before. It would seem one of my powers was super speed...or...at least...faster-than-a-normal-human-speed (I wasn't as fast as, say, flash). I rushed around to the back of his house and there I saw a man standing over Michael shoving his [Michael's] head into a bucket of ice water. The shock of the cold had Michael's breathing hitching and with his head forced underwater, his struggle to breathe got worse which caused him to panic.  _That_ was the panic I'd been feeling this morning.

Without thinking, I leapt onto the man's back, and when he released Michael, out of nowhere I started zapping him with electricity that flowed freely from my hands. It dawned on me that this had actually started last night, in the movie theater. It was the same feeling but without the sexual pressure added to it. Anyways, the man I was zapping passed out within seconds, and as he fell I leapt off and landed on my feet. Michael, though breathing hard and clearly panicked, was sitting by the bucket staring at me with awed wonder.

I got myself calm enough for the electricity to quit in my hands, and for my hyperventilating to give way to normal breathing. When I achieved such a state, I spoke calmly as if I had planned to come over here all the while.

"Good morning, Michael."

Michael's breathing was calmer as well, and now he was starting to look rather amused instead of panicked.

"Good morning, Kyler. It's nice to see you."

"It's nice to see y—oh, who are we kidding?" I dropped into a straddling position on his lap, grabbed his still-wet face and kissed him with everything I had. If I had any doubts as to his level of gratitude towards me for saving his life, they dissipated with the way he grabbed me to him. Our breathing started hitching again as our hips started to move with a mind of their own. I started getting quite a bit worked up. I so desperately wanted to continue but I was afraid I'd zap him accidentally (while marveling that I hadn't done so already) so I pulled back and got off him. My groin was absolutely burning for a release but I was more concerned with the slight electricity zapping quietly at the end of my fingers.

"That's certainly interesting," Michael said breathlessly. Seconds later after failed attempts to calm himself: "Holy Christ Ineed a cold shower."

I, for some reason, laughed and with that laugh, he smiled. It was okay now. We were aroused as hell but we were no longer in danger. I felt calm, he seemed calm. With a unified sigh between the two of us, Michael stood up, came over to me, and wrapped me in another hug.

"Thank you," he murmured into my hair.

"I've never been more scared in my life. What the hell was he doing?! Why?!"

"I'd rather tell you away from here. Mind if I go with you back to your place?"

"Not one bit. I don't think I'm gonna be able to let you out of my sight ever again."

"Mm." He breathed in deep, let it out with a happy little sigh. "I can live with that."

I looked at the unconscious man and had the strongest desire to send a lightning bolt straight up his ass.

"Shhh," Michael murmured, using the voice in order to calm down my newfound power. I wasn't entirely surprised when it worked. "Let's just go."

"Good idea." I led the way this time. Michael had no problem keeping up with my urgent strides.

At home, in the kitchen, my parents awaited my return. They weren't too happy.

"Son, just what in the hell do you think you're doing running half naked out of here at six in the god damn morning?!" My dad demanded.

"It's my fault," Michael stated.

"Your fault, my ass, Michael," I turned my attention onto my father to explain: "his father or whoever was trying to drown him." I started feeling pissed off again.

Michael gently touched my waist (he stood behind me) to remind me to just take it easy. Any time I got worked up, my newfound power got worked up. I could seriously kill someone by accident until I learned control. I now was beginning to understand how the soul mates helped each other reach their full potential. His hands gave way to his arms wrapped around my waist, his body now radiating calm into every pore of mine.

That was new.

"New power?" I asked him.

"Mm-hmm."

God, it was great. I felt high without any drug use.

My dad was still annoyed but at least he wasn't pissed. Mom came over to us and gave us a hug. Whatever Michael was doing to me affected her, too.

"Oh,  _wow_ ," she breathed.

"Isn't it great?" I practically purred.

"What's going on?" dad asked.

"Come here, love," my mom said. She pulled away, but kept a hand on Michael's arm and with her other hand held it to her husband's face. His annoyance faded.

"Holy Christ. Michael, are you feeling drained at all?"

"Nope."

"You're calming three whole people. You should be feeling drained."

"I feel fine, sir."

Dad's gaze met mine. "You're his battery."

"I'm his  _what_?" I asked. It just sounded so...dirty...for some reason.

"He retains full power indefinitely as long as he's touching you."

"Well, that's nice," I stated. "Not exactly conducive for battle but it's nice."

"What the hell kind of world do you live in?" Michael asked me, astounded. I found his tone to be funny, turned around in his arms, and gave him a kiss.

"Stay with me long enough and find out, big guy."

"Ooookay," my parents chorused. "We don't need to hear that."

"Or feel it," my mother muttered.

Michael and I giggled but pulled apart. They were right. Something, which I suspected tied into my newfound power, had us horny as hell and then some.

"So, Michael, you mind telling me what the hell that guy was doing?" I asked of him.

"Well, you're right that it's my father. You're wrong that he was trying to kill me."

I gave him my  _are you fucking kidding me_  look.

"He was just scaring me like he does every morning."

"He does  _that_ every morning??"

"Well, no, it's something different every morning, usually. Sometimes he repeats certain tortures but yeah it's just, like, a reminder to, you know, behave."

My parents were staring at him with horror. I was staring at him with horror mixed in with some major territorial anger. How  _dare_ someone torture MY beloved!

"Son, I hate to break it to you, but most parents just tell their children to behave. They don't torture them," my father said to Michael.

"I know. If I could stop him, I would."

"Now, hold up a damn minute," I snarled. "You have powers. You got the ability to control people with just your voice. Can't you just tell him to treat you like a decent fucking human being??"

I heard the sizzling. Michael touched my arm (I nearly had a heart attack I was so sure I would kill him) and strangely the electricity dissipated. My parents saw it this time, though.

"Woah! Wait a minute!" My dad exclaimed.

"Did we just see electricity start to spark from your hands?!"

I forced a smile.

"Mom, dad, guess whaaaat?"

"Ack!!"

"Oh my god!"

They both ran over and wrapped me in a hug so fast they actually pulled me entirely away from Michael. Scared to death that I'd shock them too badly, I grabbed one of Michael's hands. He kept me calm.

"What else can you do??" dad demanded as he stepped away from me; he kept his hands on my shoulders so I kept my hand in Michael's.

Michael stood off to the side, his story unfinished. I felt his quiet, mild resentment at being interrupted. He understood their reaction but it didn't bother him any less.

"Mom, dad, Michael was telling a story and we need to be polite and let him finish it."

Immediately the pair backed further off, apologizing to Michael.

He smiled slightly, eyes back on me.

"So, I tried that this morning. He was immune to it. I think he's where I got the genetics for this from."

"He's gifted? Oh great! Just great!" A lightning bolt shot out and hit the ceiling far above our heads when I threw my hands into the air. Luckily nothing broke and nobody got hurt. Sure scared the shit out of us, though.

"Honey," Michael warned.

I sighed, pulling once more away from my temper.

"Damn. Whoever thought it was a good idea to put such a powerful thing in the hands of a teenage boy is clearly stupid."

Michael stroked my hair. "As far as I know, we age normally, so you won't be a teenager for much longer."

"Well, still, I'm a danger to everyone around me at the moment, as I currently  _am_  a teenager."  _And a very hormonal one at that_ , I thought. I mean, seriously, I've heard once you find the right person you have no reservations about making love with them but this went so far beyond that it was almost ridiculous. Whenever I wasn't being pissed and zapping electricity, I was being horny and zapping a different kind of electricity.

"That's why you two are taking the day off," my father said. "You, my wonderful boy, are going to learn control. Michael is going to teach you."

Cool: no school!

Not so cool: learning to keep my cool.

"One question," I asked as my parents started back towards the kitchen (somehow we had migrated into the adjacent living room).

"Yes?" they chorused.

"Shouldn't you be the ones teaching me? You know...older-generational-wisdom and what not?"

"Michael is the only one who can touch you without dying because he has it within him to ground your power. You'll find as your abilities develop that, especially for the more dangerous ones, you guys can cancel each other out."

I looked at Michael. "And here I was worried about accidentally killing you." And only one thought went through my mind; ya know...the one fueled not by superhuman powers but by human teenager hormones.

"I'd advise not having sex until you learn better control, sweetheart," my mother chimed in, "Just because you won't kill him doesn't mean you can't hurt him."

I immediately moved away from Michael.

Dad grinned at him.

"Yup, that boy's definitely in love with you."

Michael grinned as he stared at me, just as in love. "Believe me, sir, I know."

My heart unfailingly reacted to that.


	7. Chapter 7

Both of my parents worked today which meant we'd have the whole house to ourselves all day. My raging hormones wanted to spend all day doing unspeakable things, but my brain knew better. My parents still saw fit to warn us, mainly me, to behave while they were gone. They wanted the house in exactly the same shape it was in now, though they hinted they wouldn't mind if it seemed to be in better shape by the time they returned home. Dad saw fit to warn us that if we were going to be practicing control over my new power to  _please_ do it in the yard. They wished us a good day, we wished them the same, and then we were alone. As soon as we were, electricity started to hum within me.

I turned to Michael and noticed the amused glint to his eyes.

"So," I said as coolly as I could muster, "what do you wanna do?"

"I would be lying if I said it wasn't what you clearly want to do." Yes! "But," oh, no, "it's still not the right time."

"Way I hear it, you can't plan these things."

"No, but I'd like to spend more time getting to know you first."

"You already know me."

"Ky, I know it seems like it's gonna kill you, but trust me, you're gonna be fine."

I folded my arms.

"You say that 'cos you already had sex. It's already out of your system."

He came over to me, stood in front of me, rested his hands on my shoulders and leveled a look into my eyes that didn't help one god damn bit.

"Believe me, it's nowhere  _near_  out of my system. What say you go take a shower and get dressed and we can go chill at the beach?"

I liked that idea.

"Okay."

"Good," he said. I started towards the stairs. "I'll be back in a bit."

I whirled. "Back??"

"I need to get some clothes."

"Oh, no. No. No way are you going back there!"

"Honey," he took my face in his hands, "he's not there."

"And how do you know that?" Damn him. I  _wanted_ to be aggravated but he was holding me calm.

"I know because he has to work."

"Oh, yeah, and he's never skipped a day of work."

It dawned on him that I wasn't just randomly freaking out here.

"What'd you see?" he asked.

"It wasn't a vision. It's just a feeling. He woke up to you missing, and he wants to find you so he can finish what he was doing, and because he has to start all over again, the torture is going to be worse than usual, and I just..."

Michael leaned in and pressed a tender kiss to my forehead.

"Okay. You can go with me. We can go after you shower and dress."

I desperately wanted him to shower with me but was beginning to understand that just because I desperately wanted it didn't mean we were ready. Still, I took a few minutes to kiss him before reluctantly heading up the stairs towards my room, across the hall from which was the bathroom.

After my shower and putting fresh clothes on my body, I headed downstairs. It was oddly quiet, and that's how I discovered that Michael was no longer on the premises. In seconds my hands were live wires, jolts of electricity zapping a few inches past my fingers then retreating. I knew where he was and who'd taken him.

I headed straight for the beach.

This guy thought I'd think he took Michael back to his house, but apparently he underestimated the bond Michael and I shared. I knew everything that was going to happen even though I hadn't seen it in a vision. I had no time to spare.

I got to the beach with a minute to stop Michael's dad from finishing up tying his son's arms securely and shoving him into the ocean. His back was facing me at the moment, blocking my view of Michael. I dared not zap the guy as he was touching Michael, so I picked up a good sized rock and with supreme aim lobbed it right into the guys back. His head would've been preferable but it'd been bent down and was too close to Michael's for me to risk it. As the rock collided with the guy's back, it caused him to jerk away from Michael. The minute his hands left my beloved's body, I sent that lightning bolt I'd wanted to send for a while now right into the same spot the rock had collided. The resulting howl of pain was extremely satisfying and kept the guy distracted long enough for me to get over there and start beating the living hell out of him.

What I hadn't remembered was that this guy had powers too. His apparently was super strength and quick healing. With a growl he shoved me off with enough force to send me flying back into a tree. I had ducked my head so my back took most of the blow. Still, he'd tossed me hard enough to render me unable to move for the moment, entirely stunned by the impact. I watched him, unable to do much else.

He started smiling in an evil sort of way as he started towards me.

"That's the last time you're going to interfere, you puny piece of shit."

"Leave him alone!" Michael bellowed. His father ignored him.

It was then his father took out a pocket knife, one of those big ones, and snapped it open.

"I'm going to teach you a lesson or two about sticking your nose where it doesn't belong."

"NO!" Michael roared. His father still ignored him. I knew I had to do something, anything, about that knife. It hadn't been a year yet but who knew, maybe the timeline got massively accelerated. When his father was close enough, I kicked the blade out of his hand, and then sent a lightning bolt to toss it further. In the next second, out of nowhere, a freaking cougar (I shit you not, a  _cougar_ ) leapt at the man, knocking him to the side. I watched with wide eyes as this fucking big cat snarled and growled while Michael's father tried desperately to fight him off. I didn't understand why the cat wasn't killing him, or why it let the man go after just one clawed swipe across the chest.

Looking terrified, though, when the cougar stepped off him and positioned himself in front of me in a protective stance, Michael's father scrambled to his feet and ran off. The cat continued to growl for a minute after the guy disappeared down the road, and then slowly turned to me, his body relaxing. I looked at the beach, which was empty, and made the connection.

The cougar was Michael.

I looked back at the cat and saw the familiar golden brown eyes.

"How?" I breathed.

He closed his eyes, and transformed before me back into human form. Funnily enough, when he was back to human form, my first thought was not about him being a cougar, but the fact that he was naked and I finally got to see it.

"So, now I really need clothes," Michael stated calmly, no doubt well aware of the thoughts running through my mind at the moment. I couldn't quite stop staring and Michael had to tilt my chin up. "Eyes up here, Ky." He kissed my nose. My brain realized then just how close we'd come to dying, and in the next second I was in his arms determined to never let go.

Then my brain, ever the king of jumping from one random thought to the next, realized the guy we just defeated (for now) was in the very place Michael needed to go to get clothing.

"How's that gonna work?" I asked him.

"Hm?" he pulled back slightly to look at me with confusion. His arms stayed securely around my midsection, though. "How's what gonna work?"

"Going to the house of the guy we just kicked the shit out of just so you can get clothes."

"He's in a weakened state right now."

"He has guns," I said pointedly. "And knives. I never told you how you die."

Michael studied me for a moment.

"You have a point," he said eventually, "but I can't fit into your clothes, your dad's either which would just be weird anyway. Neither of us have our money on us so we can't very well go buy clothes. I don't see any other choice."

Now  _he_  had a point.

"Damn it," I muttered.

"Look, he's weakened and I saw the way you used your power to shoot the knife out of his range so I think you can do the same for guns."

"Not if he shoots when I'm not prepared!"

"You're overthinking it. He may not even be there."

"You gave him quite a hefty scratch."

"Hence he probably went to the hospital."

I stared at Michael wondering how in the hell he wasn't more panicked. Maybe it was because he was naked.

"It's because I'm using that calming trick on myself. Being naked like this is not what I consider comfortable. Come here." He pulled me in closer. "I wanna try something."

My heart started to beat a little faster in anticipation. What ended up happening was he carefully placed his lips on mine, and just as I started to get worked up like usual, he sent calming vibes throughout my whole body. Afraid I was going to somehow lose my balance I put my arms around his neck and placed one hand in his hair. I became aware of the way his arms held me securely against him, and realized I'd never been in any danger of losing my balance in the first place; maybe losing my ability to breathe, but not my balance.

The kiss went on, slow and sweet, soothing, comforting, and seemingly endless until every single muscle and nerve in both my body and his were relaxed. Then he pulled back, and I felt like I was on drugs again. I guess, in a way, Michael  _was_  my drug.

"There," he said, sounding content, "much better."

"Do it again," I begged him. "But don't stop."

Michael chuckled. "I'd love to kiss you all the live long day, Ky, but the truth is I am naked, I am dirty, and I am cold. I'd like to change that."

I sighed heavily. "You and your aversion to being naked; I'll never understand it."

He rolled his eyes but I knew he was flattered.

I took off my shirt then and handed it to him. He looked at me, confused.

"We're about to walk up a public road.  _I_ don't mind seeing you naked but I imagine strangers might, especially if they have young kids," I explained to him.

He understood. I was a small guy and the shirt would only cover one area, so I decided to walk closely behind him so nobody could see his ass while he walked with the shirt covering his front.

"This is the part I hate about being a Renoai."

"A what?" I asked.

"I'll tell you when we get back to your place."

"So the cougar thing wasn't new," I guessed.

"Not by a long shot."

"I look forward to that story."

We got to his house (no cars passed us on the road so we lucked out there). His father wasn't in it so apparently luck was on our side today. Still, as I went upstairs I thoroughly checked every nook and cranny, and while he was showering, I searched the rest of the house. I saw nobody. It was possible there was a hidden cache. However, at no point during our visit did anyone jump out at us so it was clear that the man was gone. After my initial search I headed back upstairs in time to catch another lucky glimpse. I couldn't stop the smile from forming on my face. Michael smiled too, at least.

"This is just your lucky day, ain't it?" he asked.

I shrugged then followed him into his bedroom. "Sometimes I'm blessed."

"Mm-hmm. Mind doing me a favor?"

"Oh?"

He gave me a look. "Not a sexual favor. Man, those hormones are way in overdrive. No, I need you to go to my closet and get my suitcase."

My heart stumbled in its rhythm.

"I...I thought..."

"Yeah, well, clearly my father is getting desperate and I'd rather stay where I'm safe. That is if you don't mind."

"Not one bit!" I went a bit too fast into the closet. It made Michael laugh.

"Take it easy, honey," he teased. "There's no need for you to get hurt over one suitcase."

"Shut up, Michael," I teased back.

In the closet, which was dark until I found the light switch, I found the suitcase sitting in the back. It was easy to find because there wasn't much else in here. In the next second I was out of there and placing the suitcase on the bed. Michael had pulled on some boxers and was working on fastening up his faded blue jeans. He looked incredibly sexy in those jeans. He looked incredibly sexy no matter what he was wearing.

He looked at me and cracked a grin.

"You keep staring."

"You keep being sexy."

He rolled his eyes, clearly pleased though, and went to his dresser where he picked up his deodorant and began applying it to his underarms.

"So what do you want in here?" I asked him.

Without missing a beat, he said: "Clothes go in the suitcase hon, that's what it's for."

"Well, no shit, Sherlock!" I shot back playfully.

He turned. "Oooh. You wanna play that game?" His hands started down to where his jeans met his hips, and I knew in an instant what he was doing. He'd let me see but wouldn't let me touch. He unfastened his jeans.

I let out a low groan as he started to slowly slide them down his hips.

"That is not fair."

He winked at me, pulling his pants back up and refastening them.

"Think of that the next time you wanna be a smart ass." He proceeded to pick out a shirt.

"Hey, you were a smart ass first!"

He paused for the teeniest second before continuing to put on his shirt.

"Fair point; I'm sorry."

I nodded once.

He came over to me, hooked an arm around my waist, and locked his lips with mine. It was a short kiss but it shorted out my brain nonetheless.

"I love those," I murmured.

He pressed a second kiss to my forehead.

"I love giving them," he said, giving me another.

Soon enough we were out of that house, hopefully to never return.


	8. Chapter 8

At home, we walked in and I took his suitcase.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

I looked at him, confused.

"I thought..."

"I think if I'm going to be staying here your parents need to give their permission."

Oh...right.

I set his suitcase back down by the stairs, then went back over to him.

"So...now what?"

"Well, you're supposed to be learning how to control your emotions so you don't accidentally zap someone to death."

"But I'm calm right now."

"Then we can work on controlling your hormones."

"I can control my hormones?" I asked him.

"I gotta imagine if you can produce electricity in your hands, you can tell your hormones to chill out."

I folded my arms across my chest.

"And here I thought it'd be flattering that I want you."

"Honey, it is, a lot, but you want to jump me every second you spend with me. It's gotta be distracting."

Clearly he wasn't suffering from the same thing.

"No, I already got mine to chill out. Every time they start to surge I control it."

I frowned. I quite liked the feeling. It made me feel more...normal.

He came over to me and laid his hands on my upper arms.

"Things just need to calm down a bit between us. We have time enough for that."

I sighed. I  _guess_ it'd be nice if I wasn't feeling the desperate need for release just because he moved a certain way.

"Good. Come on." He took my hand and led me into the back yard.

"I don't see how this is going to work."

"I'm going to tell you how I control mine, then I'm going to get your hormones all frenzied, and together we're going to work on getting them to calm down. Step by step and then practice until you can do it entirely on your own."

I wasn't thrilled about it, but he had a point. So we set to work. We sat with our legs crisscrossed and our palms touching, and with that connection we didn't need to speak. He showed me how to locate the hormones (which was kooky) and how they worked. He showed me how I  _did_ have absolute control over them (which was kooky). He showed me what it looked like when they were acting up versus what it looks like when they're not. Then he got them worked up by running one hand up my upper thigh as he kissed me. I lost focus in seconds, and pulled away as the electricity started in my hands.

He sensed my frustration.

"It wasn't going to happen with the first try. Come on. You won't hurt me, I promise."

Reluctantly I put my hands back in his and dived back in. It was easier the second time because I knew what to expect but I needed his help to get them to calm down. We worked on them for a long time, a couple of hours I think, and could stop when he had me flat onto my back while he kissed me, and I didn't go into a hormonal frenzy.

It was kind of cool.

For the rest of the time we sat on the couch and watched some reruns of a favorite TV show of mine, which so happened to be a favorite of his, too. Apparently we fell asleep because the next thing I remember is a flash that woke us up, and seeing my parents standing before us with grins on their faces.

"Hey there, sleeping beauties," my father greeted us. I realized that at some point, though I strangely didn't remember, one or both of us must've shifted because both of us were spread out on the couch, me on top with my head on Michael's chest.

"How was your day?" my mother asked.

"Had a busy morning," Michael replied. I was still struggling to wake up. I'd been so  _comfortable_. Okay, so clearly I still was.

"How'd the training go?"

"Pretty good. He caught on fast enough."

"That's good. So I noticed there's a suitcase by the stairs."

That jolted me awake. I got off Michael (I immediately wanted to go back) and sat where his feet had been (he'd moved them once I'd gotten off him).

"His father kidnapped him this morning while I was showering and getting dressed, and had planned to tie him up and toss him in the ocean," I explained.

Mom let out a gasp.

"I came in just in time, though barely, and fought him off for a bit. Michael sealed the deal and while the man was in the hospital I took Michael home and he decided it was time to maybe stay here because he'd be safer and pretty please can he stay here? I swear he'll sleep in the guest room, not mine, and I won't go in there in the middle of the night and just...please??"

My parents huddled for a minute, backs to us, and during that minute Michael took my hand and murmured:

"If they say no, don't freak out. I have a backup plan, okay?"

I nodded, anxious now. Michael soothed it away.

My parents turned back and gave their consent.

"Really?!" I exclaimed.

"Yes, really," my father said. "He makes you happy. We aren't going to get in the way of th—oof!" I had hugged him as hard as I could, which made him laugh. Then I hugged my mom, and then I did a little dance, which was a horrible idea because my balance sucked. I ended up tripping over my own feet and would've fallen if Michael hadn't caught me. The next second I leapt up into his arms, wrapped my legs around his waist and hugged him tight. He held me for a moment while everyone chuckled, and then slowly let me back down on my feet.

"Now you can take the suitcase upstairs," he told me.

"Michael, could you come help me unload the groceries?" My mom chimed in right then.

Michael and I exchanged a knowing glance, and then went our separate ways. When I came back down, he and mom were still in the kitchen putting the groceries away. Mom was teaching him where everything went and I understood now that her main concern probably hadn't been keeping us from doing something upstairs. Though I knew that was still an underlying concern of theirs.

"Need any help?" I asked, leaning in the doorway.

"Nope. Your father wanted to talk to you, though," my mother told me.

 _Oh, here we go_ , I thought. It was time for the sex talk, part two; because it was one thing to give it when your child is far from being sexually active, but things changed once they got to a certain age (like sixteen, seventeen) and found a person who stirred their hormones up enough for them to let the moment happen.

"He in his study?" I asked.

"Yup. Go right in."

Michael smiled at me and gave me his  _you got this_ look. I gave him my  _I don't have a choice_  look and headed down the hall to the study. As expected dad sat at his desk inside and asked me to close the door. After I did so I went to the chair opposite his on the other side of the desk, and sat down.

"You know what I'm going to say, right?" he started.

"I don't know for sure, but I imagine it has something to do with the dangers of having unprotected sex, and how it's always a smart idea to use condoms every time, and stuff like that."

He nodded. "Because it's one thing to tell you how babies are made and what sex is because back then you were too young for me to have to worry about this but now..."

"Obviously things have, uhm, changed."

"Exactly. So. In both bathrooms, there is usually a box of condoms. If both are empty, please refrain from having sex at all, just to be really safe. I understand it's difficult to refrain once things get rolling so I think it's best you check be _fore_  you start. If you forget, and trust me, you will forget—it's inevitable—and you absolutely think you can't just walk away you can use foreplay techniques to get you both off. You with me so far?"

"Completely," I told him, trying to not feel so damn awkward. Sex was a natural part of life. I was at the age where it's becoming a part of  _my_  life and he was just helping me keep both me and my partner safe.

It was still awkward as hell.

"Next. Has Michael had sex?"

I nodded.

Dad looked surprised.

"You two have talked already?"

"A little. It wasn't a real in-depth kind of conversation, but yeah he knows I'm a virgin and I know he's not. He wants to wait a little bit before we go that far. He spent today helping me calm down my hormones because they were getting wildly out of control and they didn't seem like they were going to slow down any time soon."

Dad started to smile. "I like this guy."

I rolled my eyes.

He laughed. "Okay. So, you're on the right track. You need to ask if he's been tested. It's your right to keep yourself safe. We know you're alright because you got checked just two weeks ago. You tell him, that, too, because if he's doing this right, he's watching out for his own health as well. Once you start being sexually active I think we should increase how often you see the urologist."

"How often?"

"Once a month should be fine." He saw the look on my face and chuckled. "Alright, fine. If you swear to be extremely careful and you trust your partner to be just as careful," which I did, "we can make it once every couple of months. Better?"

"Yeah."

"Alright. You also need to ask how many people he's been with."

"Dad!"

"When you have sex with him, you're having sex with every person he's had sex with. I know it's awkward and uncomfortable but I cannot stress enough how important it is to be safe with something like this."

I nodded.

"I think that's it," dad said, staring off into space, probably checking off a mental list of things to make sure I knew. "Oh!" Looks like he forgot one. "When you two do start, could you try to keep the moaning to a minimum?"

Oh god. I hid my face in my hands, now beyond embarrassed.

"Hey, we won't bust you whenever you two have sex, it's just we don't want to hear our baby boy doing god knows what."

"Okay," I said from behind my hands. I couldn't think of what else to say.

Dad sighed.

"And that's that. You're free to go."

"Thanks, dad." I tried my best to move calmly out of that room when all I wanted to do was run. When I got back to the kitchen, I discovered Michael was helping my mother cook.

"Smells good in here," I commented.

He sensed my hug coming before the idea had fully formed in my mind so by the time I reached him he was entirely ready for me.

"That grueling, huh?" he asked.

"Well, not so much that as just awkward. So," staying in his arms because I wasn't ready to leave them just yet, "Whatcha cookin'?"

"We're having a chicken dish with a sauce made from some random ingredients thrown together. We're not sure how it's going to turn out but I think it's cool to experiment." Keeping his right arm around my waist, he used his left hand to pick up the wooden spoon and stir the white, bubbling sauce.

"What's in it?" I asked.

"It's just some flour, some milk, some chicken stock, some salt, garlic, hoisin sauce, terryiaki, and pepper. The chicken is fully seasoned. It should come together nicely."

"It sounds good." I rested my head once more against his shoulder. "Am I in the way?" I asked then.

He pressed a kiss to my hair. "Nope. You're right where I want you."

"Good."

"You guys are so cute!" Mom exclaimed. We both turned our heads to look at her and that's when she snapped the picture. We looked at each other to roll our eyes but ended up kissing instead. Another picture was taken. Throughout our first long night together, mom kept taking pictures, all the way up to us heading upstairs together to get ready for bed. After that she left us alone.

When it came time to part for the night, I wasn't really quite willing. As it turned out, neither was he. I decided if we were going to get busted, I'd rather I take most of the blame for it, so we went into his room (I was thinking my parents would realize I had decided to join him rather him deciding to join me and thus yell at me, not him). Lying in the bed, in his arms, I thought I'd fall right to sleep, but my mind just kept right on going.

"Michael, you awake?" I asked my voice soft in the dim, moonlit room.

"Yes. Something wrong?"

"I can't fall asleep."

"Funny, me neither."

"Maybe we should talk?"

"I wouldn't mind. What do you wanna talk about?"

"Well...I was curious about that whole Renoai thing."

"Oh, that's right." He suddenly ran his hand through my hair. "I did promise to tell you about that. Well, it started with my father. An evolution of genes or awakening of dormant genes, I don't know. Anyways, he found a woman who was just like him, and soon I was born, so I got the genes fully formed already entirely active. Sure made going through puberty  _so_  much fun. The first time I phased I was about thirteen, and luckily I was alone. It was an odd sensation. I can't fully describe it, but I know it's going to happen when all of a sudden my body goes cold. There's not much information about people who can shapeshift into cougars so I'm pretty damn clueless. All I do know is I can't phase at will, only when someone I love is in danger, and that my father is pissed all to hell that I'm gay."

"Uh, what does being gay have to do with being a Renoai?"

"He wants the genes to continue. He thinks it makes us more pure than normal humans, so he wants me to find a woman like me and procreate. He can't, or won't I guess, accept that I just flat out hold no attraction towards women."

"So that's why he tortures you?"

"He thinks he can force  _it_ out of me." Michael laughed suddenly. "It's actually funny that I was literally meant to be gay. Kind of a huge  _fuck you_  to him."

I smiled, feeling his heart beat steadily beneath my hand as I held it to his chest.

"Does it scare you?" I asked him.

"Does what scare me?"

I realized I had more than one answer to that, and that I couldn't decide which to choose. So I decided to just put 'em all out there.

"Us, the way we came together, being a Renoai."

Michael let out a sigh. "I was terrified at first about us the moment I saw that vision. I was terrified when you turned out to be real. Now though I'm glad I didn't let you go easily just because I was afraid. As for being a Renoai, I'm mostly scared I'll get super pissed, phase, and hurt someone I love. So far it hasn't happened but that doesn't mean it won't." He looked at me. "Now I'm afraid of losing you."

"How do I die?" I asked him.

He closed his eyes. "You...uh..." He suddenly struggled to speak.

"Sorry," I said then, kissing his jaw then resting my head on his chest. "Maybe some other time."

"Mm." He took a steadying breath, ran his hand through my hair again. "Cancer."

"Cancer?"

"You get brain cancer." So was  _that_ why he kept stroking my hair so much, and kissing my head? "Inoperable. It spreads too fast for the medicine to keep up so you spend your last moments...in pain...and...with all my powers...I couldn't...save you." His breathing hitched again, and I knew all too well the pain he was feeling.

We laid there in silence as his breathing gradually returned to normal.

"How do I die?" he asked then.

It was like a punch to my heart as my brain dutifully pulled up the too-vivid memory.

"It happens on the main land, I think. We're in some suburban neighborhood, by a house with a really tall white picket fence. You've..." it started getting hard to breathe, "been shot or stabbed...in the stomach. I'm kneeling with you in my arms...and," tears started once more, just like they always did, "you put a...you put a hand...to my cheek, and your last...words were..." Oh god, I couldn't breathe. Michael tried to soothe which helped me some. "Your last words were  _I love you_." My lower lip trembled. "Then you were gone."

"Oh my god." He shushed me then as the sob bubbled out of me. "No wonder you freaked out when you saw me."

I simply buried my face against his neck to wait for the agony to subside. It didn't take long with him. It never did. I knew the longer I spent with him the more it was going to tear me apart losing him (if I ended up dying first, it was going tear him apart losing me) but it was too late. I wasn't walking away from this. No fucking way.


	9. Chapter 9

The following days went by without much conflict. We just spent the time learning what it felt like to be a couple. Soon enough it'd been a month, and we without a doubt completely fit perfectly together. I'd met his other family, he met some of my friends who took to him immediately, and we had some group hang out sessions. At night we cuddled in his room and talked of everything until we fell asleep. We kissed often, teased often, hugged often. My hormones got worked up often, but he'd been a good teacher so they no longer were my sole focus. We went on dates. We laughed. We fell more in love with each passing second. I honestly didn't think it could get any better and I was okay with that.

Currently it was Saturday, the month was October, and we were on the beach, splashing each other in the warm ocean, laughing. Then in a smooth move, he had me in his arms and his lips on mine. We still had some sand to stand on beneath us so we didn't have to try to swim  _and_ kiss, which we tried once; let's just say it's not exactly safe.

Abruptly there was a large splash far too close to Michael that had us pulling apart and looking around to see what the hell caused it. When we heard yelling from the shore, we looked there and saw Gerry. He was beckoning us to come to him.

"What could he want?" I wondered.

"One way to find out." Michael started towards the shore. I followed.

We got to where Gerry waited for us and a split second after I reached Michael's side, Gerry's fist shot out, slammed into Michael's jaw, and then he punched Michael in the groin.

"FUCK YOU!" He screamed.

Anger took over my body in seconds and before I could stop it, the electricity took over my hands. Michael's hand shot out and grabbed my arm even though he was on his knees in obvious pain.

"Kyler, don't," he wheezed.

I clenched my hands into fists, glaring at Gerry.

"Why the hell didn't you do that a month ago?!" I snapped at him.

Gerry looked at me. "I don't fucking know. I planned to. It was like my brain forgot what it was going to do or something. Then I got busy. That rock was supposed to hit him but I guess this worked out even better. The look on your face right now is priceless."

Michael gave my arm a squeeze to remind me not to do it.

"One little zap," I muttered.

"No. I had it coming. Let it go." He maneuvered back into a standing position with my help but seemed to still have trouble breathing. His hand remained on my arm and it occurred to me then that he was the  _only_  reason this whole damn place wasn't having a freak lightning storm right now. I kind of marveled at that; that one guy could stop something so powerful.

"Gerry," Michael said then, "you had your shot with him. I'm sorry you got hurt, but this is just the way it's meant to go."

"He saves your life all of once and you think you're, what, meant to be his soul mate or something?"

"For the record, Gerry, I saved his life about three more times since then," I spoke up, "This guy is a danger magnet I swear."

Michael slid a look my way.

"I'm not the only one, clearly."

"And he and I  _are_  meant to be soul mates," I told Gerry then. "You'll never understand it."

"Did you love me at all??"

"I think I'm going to leave you two alone to talk," Michael said then, which was really code for  _my balls hurt and I need to sit._

"The refreshment hut has ice," I told him.

He pressed a quick kiss to my cheek before heading up to the hut. I focused on Gerry.

"I did love you," I told him honestly.

"You ditched me awfully fast."

"We had a really good run, Gerry, I'm sorry it didn't work out but sometimes fate just strikes. It just...it happens. None of us can control it."

He looked directly into my eyes and asked:

"What's he got that I don't? I honestly want to know what the hell I'm lacking."

 _Fate didn't choose you as the one_ , I thought. Obviously couldn't say that, so...

"Don't do that to yourself, man. You're just as great as he is."

"Then why?!" He shot at me.

"I don't know why!" I shot back. Michael, who was sitting on my rock, looked up at us at my outburst, looking concerned. I used the trick he taught me to calm down. Sensing this, and looking slightly proud, he stayed put.

"I don't believe you, asshole," Gerry grumbled. "Nobody just one day leaves someone for someone else in the blink of an eye, not after six months together. Is it because he looks better?"

I gave him a look. "You know damned well I don't care about that."

"Clearly you do, if you took one look at this guy and decided you were meant to be with him."

"You really want to know why? It had nothing to do with how handsome he is. It had to do with the fact that I had a vision of my relationship with him that spanned over this year, the end of which ends with him dying in my arms. I didn't fucking choose it. Fate told me  _this is your guy_  and that was that. I couldn't prevent it. I couldn't stop it. I am  _sorry_ you're hurting so much, but you just weren't fucking  _it_."

He was staring at me like I had expected him to: with utter disbelief.

"Wow, Kyler. You're a lot of things but a bull-shitter wasn't one of them. Why the hell won't you just tell me the truth?!"

I threw my arms into the air and let them fall back down and hit my sides.

"I don't know what to fuckin' tell you, Gerry. I tell you the truth, you don't believe me. I tell you the near truth, you don't believe me. You're not going to believe me no matter what the hell comes out of my mouth because YOU won't accept the fact that we are done! We are over! There is no more us! Let me go! I loved you once but I love Michael more. What more do you fucking want?"

He grabbed me by the shirt and immediately I froze. Michael got to his feet and started towards us. I held up a hand at him and he stopped, poised to run if necessary.

"Let me go," I said softly.

"I want you to dump him and get back with me! I miss you! I'm a thousand times better than that fucker!"

"I'm not leaving him," I said calmly, trying my hardest to keep my hands off of him because I was having difficulty controlling my power at the moment; apparently my body thought I was in imminent danger and that was overriding any attempt to calm down.

The shirt he gripped was the only thing saving his ass right now.

"WHY NOT?!"

"Because he makes me happier than you did!" I snapped.

A hand appeared on Gerry's shoulder.

"Let him go,  _now_ ," Michael ordered.

"Fuck off!" Gerry snarled.

" _Let. My. Boyfriend. Go._ " Michael, using the voice, snarled. There was something about mixing an angry tone in with it that sealed the deal. Gerry released me and backed away a few feet, recognizing instinctively that he was in danger if he kept on this path.

Michael moved to my side as I once more tried to placate my ex.

"Ger, you were great, okay? Stop doubting that. But you really need to let me go. I'm not coming back. Go find someone who can make you happy."

Gerry studied Michael.

"Don't hurt him," he muttered.

"I'd rather die first," Michael replied solemnly. Agony struck again, and it took everything I had not to break down right then and there. Michael took my hand. Gerry studied us, slapped me (barely after I'd gotten my power back down to calm levels, so he narrowly missed being shocked), said "you're a god damn fool." and then left. When he was out of our field of vision, I turned, gently grasped Michael's chin and turned his head to my left to study the slight swelling near his left eye.

"I'm fine," Michael commented, sounding amused. "I've had worse. He takes you by surprise but his punch doesn't pack a whole lot of power."

I sighed.

"I don't think we've heard the last of him."

"You have a profound impact on the guys you date. I don't think you realize the power you have over our helpless hearts."

"Look who's talking," I told him, which resulted in another kiss.

"I love you, Kyler. You have no idea how much."

"Believe me, Michael, I have a very good idea how much."

Another kiss and then Michael brought up how we had homework to do. I pouted at him.

"It's Saturday."

"Tell you what," he replied, making his voice sultry the way he knew I loved, "finish all your homework, and tonight I'll take you on the most romantic date yet."

"Bowling better be involved," I told him, "or no deal."

Michael laughed. "Bowling will be involved. Come on."

On our way home, I finally asked the question to trigger the discussion that had been burning in my mind since he'd told me that he'd seen me die.

"Why do you think we both saw the other die?"

Michael stopped dead in his tracks and looked at me with a new expression I couldn't fully identify. It was sort of a mixture between absolute horror, total pain, and confusion.

"I...I don't know."

"It's just...in each vision, we're there watching the other die. In reality one of us is going to go first, which means only one of our visions is going to come true."

The Adam's apple bobbed in his throat as he swallowed hard. I didn't enjoy for one second the look of pain that crossed his expression. I had had to say something though. Now or later, we needed to be realistic.

"I just wish I knew which one," I said quietly.

Michael took a steadying breath.

"Me too, but, Kyler, we cannot focus on that."

I met his gaze. Now he looked sort of angry.

"I...I'm sorry. I didn't mean—"

"I'm not angry with you, love. I'm just pissed that this has to end at all. It's the greatest feeling. If you go first, how the hell am I supposed to live the rest of my life knowing I had everything but wasn't allowed to keep it? How am I supposed to live with a loss like that? If I go first, it hurts me just as badly knowing how it's going to tear you apart. I keep looking at every other couple around us and I hate them...I hate them because they get a lifetime if they're lucky and yet they'll never experience the magnitude of love that we have right now. And maybe that's the point. Maybe love like this can't be sustained in the great scheme of things for very long and that's when I return to my original decision: I'm going to try to get absolutely everything possible out of this relationship before it ends. Every kiss, every hug, every touch, every word, every breath I'm going to cherish all to hell. Every move you make. Every expression you make. Every step you take. Every little thing you do gets burned into my memory because if I lose you, I don't ever want to forget you, not even for a second."

I stared at the seventeen year old before me seeing not a teenager but a man. Since we were truly soulmates, it made sense that our souls were probably old, having been searching for the other for a while.

I wanted to reply with something just as powerful but my  _god_ his words just...I was utterly speechless. Michael smiled self-consciously and watched the car that passed us, then the next one a minute later. About five cars and six minutes later, I was in his arms kissing him with as much passion as I could possibly muster. I took him so entirely by surprise he stumbled back a couple of steps before regaining his composure. Then he kissed me back and I swear to fucking  _God_ fireworks started exploding all around us. I could've died right then and there and been perfectly fine with it, I was so incredibly happy. The world, however, had had enough. The next car that passed us honked loudly, scaring us apart. Both of us were breathless.

"Wow. Okay." Michael kind of wiped at his mouth, turned, and continued on his way, walking in a kind of daze, to my house. I followed, putting everything I had into keeping my legs from crumbling. Every nerve in my body was humming so very pleasantly. My legs were so weak. It was going to be so hard to focus on homework after  _that_.

Mom looked up as we walked in, somehow knowing.

"You guys had a moment, didn't you?"

"That's an understatement," Michael replied.

"I need to go upstairs and do my homework," I replied robotically.

"Want any help?" Michael asked me.

Oh, god. This could be exactly the opening that led to us finally going all the way, but a small voice suddenly said  _not yet_  so I applied some calm to my hormones, smiled at my lover, gave him a kiss, and told him no.

"I was thinking that I should probably stay down here anyway," he said then.

His eyes told me that his own small voice had told him the same thing mine had told me.

"Probably a good idea," I agreed.

Mom smiled with relief and turned back to her dishes.

Another kiss and then I was on my way to my room to do the homework I'd been dreading of tackling since Friday evening. This year I was taking classes that were a bit harder than I had realized they'd be, but at least I had incentive to get them done; you know...because passing and graduating weren't incentive enough,  _obviously_. That was sarcasm, by the way.

It'd been hours and I was still at it. Michael apparently had grown concerned and came in to make sure I was okay (I was frustrated beyond belief, but I was okay). By then, our hormones had settled so it was okay for him to help me. Within half an hour the homework was finished.

"I should've just called you up here after the first hour," I said as I sat back.

"Mm, gave me time to set things up."

 _Set things up?_ I wondered silently.

"How much time do we have?" I asked him then.

He checked his watch.

"About an hour."

"Oh, good." I swiveled the chair around, stood up, and planted a kiss on his lips. He hooked one arm around me, and used the other to navigate us to the bed, where he eased me onto my back and settled on top. It wasn't the first time we'd gotten this far, but that was as far as it got. Kissing him was an unbelievable stress reliever. We stayed here for about half an hour just enjoying every second of the moment, and then it was time to get ready for the date.

"Parting is always such sweet sorrow," Michael murmured as he got off me. I smiled. I hated Romeo and Juliet with a passion equivalent to that which I held for Michael but every time the words were uttered by his lips, my heart skipped several beats. His voice just made everything sound so much better.

"So," I said trying to distract myself, "is this a fancy date?"

Michael was over at the dresser opening the second drawer—which held some his clothes—and he paused doing this to give me a look.

"Since when have we ever had a fancy date?"

"Well, I mean, we can if you want."

"Hon, I don't need the date to be fancy. I just want to spend time with you. We could do it buck ass naked and I'd be just as happy as if we were dressed up."

There went the hormones again. I gave him an exasperated look.

"Why did you have to bring up you being naked? I  _just_  got calmed down, man."

He chortled. "Every time."

I gave his ass a pat as I passed. "I'm going to shower."

"Again? You don't need one, Ky!"

"I'm going to shower," I repeated with determination in my voice.

"I swear to God half the planet's water goes to your showers with the way you shower so much."

I paused in the doorway, looked directly at him, and finally took the step that hopefully would start us on  _that path_  (you know which one): "You could always save water and shower with me, you know."

His eyes glinted with interest though he tried to keep his expression neutral.

"That's a perfectly good point." He cleared his throat. I saw the desire burning in his eyes, and it absolutely thrilled me.

"Just sayin', man," I said coolly, and then went on my way to the bathroom, grinning like an idiot. 

His control was starting to wean, and I finally could see that I was driving him just as crazy as he'd been driving me. My self-confidence, which would normally be telling me I was unworthy of any of this, that I was a fool to want someone as god-like as him, was starting to grow to the point where I could drop hints like I had and not feel the least bit guilty. I was growing with Michael in ways I never thought possible. I could only hope I was having the same effect on him somehow. Part of me knew I was; that conviction was growing more and more, too.


	10. Chapter 10

Michael didn't join me, but in a way I was kind of glad. I was curious to see what he'd set up for our date and I knew if he'd joined me we weren't going to leave the bedroom tonight after that shower. When I walked into the bedroom, I discovered it was empty. Again, probably best. I dried off entirely, and then set to getting dressed. It wasn't until I left my bedroom that I suddenly heard the music playing downstairs. Curious, I headed that way and discovered that the living room had been converted into a sort of ballroom. The lights were dimmed, there were candles lit everywhere, and in the middle of the room where the couch had been, Michael waited for me. I went over to him while my heart started beating faster.

When the song changed then to "I Knew I Loved You" by Savage Garden, which is one of my most favorite songs, especially since the lyrics were so true for our situation, I nearly started crying. Music had a profound effect on my life. Long ago, I reached a low point in my life, and I had almost committed suicide. It was the choice to try to calm down with music that I found the tiniest glimmer of strength to hang on, to try to survive the darkness for the chance that it  _wouldn't_ last forever, for the chance to find light again. It was an hour or so listening but I had gone from wanting to end my life to just breaking down. Music had  _literally_ saved my life. So when this song, which was so beautiful in so many ways, started playing during one of our dates, my heart became obsessed with it, and since then, Michael played it often in the background as we got ready for our dates. This was different, though. This time it wasn't in the background, it was the focus. We were dancing to it which was something we hadn't done yet.

When I reached him, he put one hand on my waist, and extended the other arm out to the side. I placed one hand in the one outstretched and placed my free hand on his shoulder. Then we moved in close, and started slowly revolving to the song my heart loved so very much. It didn't take long for us to break that posture and end up with our arms around each other, heads rested together, eyes closed, getting lost in the blissfully peaceful moment.

When the song started to come to its end, I opened my eyes and spotted my parents watching us from the kitchen. Mom was videotaping and crying. My father held an arm around her waist, unshed tears in his eyes. It was then I discovered that Michael had the song put on repeat, and looked at him with surprise.

He smiled.

"Once isn't nearly enough."

It was my turn to tear up. I couldn't explain why I was crying when I was so incredibly happy, but I knew he understood perfectly. He bent down and gave me a soft kiss. My lips trembled on his but he didn't seem to mind, and then we were back to revolving with our heads together. When I closed my eyes again a couple tears were dislodged down my cheeks. I let them go. I had nothing to be ashamed of; I was human and crying was natural.

The second time was sweeter than the first, and more tears escaped before the end of the song, but by the end they did stop, and with that Michael stopped the music. He wiped the moisture off my cheeks, and then asked if I was ready to go.

"Wait, the date isn't here?"

An amused expression crossed his face.

"It's kind of all over. Next up is bowling."

"What happens after bowling?" I asked him.

He bent down and held his lips mere centimeters from mine. "You'll have to go to find out," he whispered, pulling away and walking over to the coat rack.

I cast a look at my parents who were still a little bit tearful.

"Is he going to kill me?" I asked them.

"Kyler, what the hell?!" Michael exclaimed while my parents hooted with laughter. I looked at him with a little grin.

"I had to make them laugh. I didn't want them crying anymore."

Michael shook his head.

"You're such a weirdo."

I went over to him and let him put my coat on me.

"You love me and all my weirdness," I reminded him. He wrapped his arms around my waist from behind and pressed a kiss under my jaw.

"More than anything," he whispered in my ear.

Ooh, how my heart hummed.

"So, do you guys know his plans?" I asked my parents.

"Yup," my dad said.

"Not going to tell you, though," my mom chimed in.

"Damn."

Michael laughed. "Come on, we should get going. Guys, have a great night."

"You too," my parents replied.

Michael led the way to the car, and I got in the passenger seat. It was then I noticed the box rested atop the cup holders. I looked at it for a moment, then at him.

"Go ahead," he said.

Slightly nervous, but figuring it wasn't a ring because the box was far too big, I took it, and opened it. Inside, instead of jewelry (of some sort), there were two concert tickets. When I saw the band I let out a loud gasp. Bon Jovi; they were my most favorite band, like,  _ever_. That was that very band whose music had saved my life. I've never gotten to see them in concert before. I looked at him with utter shock.

"H-how??"

"Your parents and a couple of my aunts helped out. They're not great seats, but they're not terrible seats, either. You should be able to see your idol clearly enough in person."

"Oh my god. Oh my god. Michael. Oh my  _God_." Bon fucking Jovi...I was going to actually see live and in person  _Bon Jovi_. You know, I'd heard their concerts were always amazing.

I started to hyperventilate.

"Okay, easy tiger, breathe." Michael rubbed my leg, sending some calm into me so I didn't end up giving myself a coronary. "The concert is at nine. It's currently seven. That gives us about half an hour or an hour depending on how fast we play for bowling, and then an hour for dinner if we absolutely eat no later than eight P.M. They're performing in town so we won't have to go far to see them, at least. I remembered you telling me about it a couple weeks ago, ranting about how rare it was that they played anywhere near here, and how pissed you were that you couldn't afford tickets the night they were actually in town."

"Oh, my God," I couldn't stop staring at the tickets in my hand. Suddenly I became terrified I'd drop them and lose them so I set them carefully back in their box and handed that box to him. He never lost stuff.

"You okay?" He asked when I stared out at the front windshield.

"I'm trying not to burst into tears," I told him, looking at him. "I don't...really have...words..."

Michael was looking so perfectly, so understandingly, so affectionately at me, I got lost in those eyes of his. I hadn't been aware that I'd been leaning towards him, but the next thing I knew my lips were on his. When the kiss ended, he looked amused.

"And to think, this is just the beginning of the date. I can't wait to see your reaction to the rest of it."

"There's no way it gets better. It's already the best."

Michael just smiled and started the car. I became aware there  _was_ something up his sleeve, and I was utterly clueless to what it could possibly be, but we were on our way so I knew at least I'd find out soon enough.

I wondered if I could wait long enough for it.

At the bowling alley, which I expected to be bustling with people was completely empty. I looked at Michael in the parking lot, and wondered if they were even open. He just smiled at me and offered me his hand.

"Come on, my love," he said. I took his hand and walked with him towards the alley's entrance, the only sound being the gravel crunching beneath our feet and some birds in the distance having a lively conversation.

As soon as we stepped inside, I was stunned beyond belief. It was a similar set up to that at the house but in a bigger space. The lights were dimmed, there were some candles, and playing right as we walked in was another Savage Garden song: "Truly Madly Deeply". It was another song I was utterly obsessed with.

"My God, Michael," I breathed. My heart was so beyond happy. "How in the hell did you pull this off?"

"I'm close friends with the owner and he was more than happy to do me a favor. They're closed today anyway, so they aren't losing any business, not that that'd stop him from doing this for me. How am I doing so far?"

"...No...words..."

"Good. Let's go bowl."

"Michael."

He stopped his advance towards the one lane that was open and looked at me.

"Yeah?"

I gently grabbed the front of his shirt, pulled him to me, and planted yet another passionate kiss on those wonderful lips of his. It was a short kiss, but it left him reeling. I held him until he steadied himself.

"Well. That explained it perfectly. Whoo." He fanned himself. I laughed; he broke out in a wide smile, took my hand, and led me to the lane exactly in the middle of the room. We changed our shoes to those provided by the bowling alley. Once that was done, I saw I was to bowl first, and discovered Michael had really thought of everything: the ball I absolutely loved was waiting for me.

"Is there anything you haven't thought of?" I asked him as I picked it up.

"I'm sure there's something," he admitted.

"Seriously, man; I'd marry you on the spot if you asked me."

He let out a chuckle, his eyes twinkling with the very same intense love I felt.

"That's good to know. Now. Do your worst."

I rolled my eyes at the taunt and got into position. I rolled the ball, and got a strike on the first try.

"Yes!" I exclaimed, throwing my hands in the air victoriously.

Michael slanted his eyes at me.

"You got lucky."

I mentioned to him to try. He got nine pins, and told me to shut up when I giggled. It continued much like that for the rest of the frames. When we finished, it'd been about forty five minutes. I had won by one point. He came up to me after his last bowl, wrapped his arms around my waist, and leaned in close.

"You got lucky," he said again, softly this time.

"I'm blessed," I replied to him easily, closing the gap between our mouths. Suddenly a favorite Bon Jovi song started playing and the next thing I knew Michael had us dancing again, foreheads together, arms around each other, revolving in a slow circle. I felt like crying again. He was really out-doing himself tonight. I didn't think this night was ever going to end, and frankly I didn't want it to. Everything was so absolutely perfect.

"I love you," I told him.

"I love you, too," he replied kissing me again.

Once the song was over that was it for this portion of the date. It was time to eat. I grew excited to see what he had planned for dinner. He didn't let down one bit. He took me to my favorite Chinese restaurant (Chinese was my favorite kind of food to eat out), and had a table set up outside with clear view of the ocean nearby. We were close enough to be able to hear the soothing sounds of the waves crashing to the beach.

As we sat, I let out a happy sigh.

"No wonder my parents were crying. Thank fucking God that you were brought into this world."

Michael laughed.

"I say that exact same thing about you all the time to anyone who'll listen."

I scoffed. "Bitch, please. I'm miniscule compared to you."

Michael looked me dead in the eyes and without missing a beat said: "Not to me."

There went my heart again. Lordie. Was I even going to survive this night? Wow. Suddenly, it occurred to me.

"Well. That explained it perfectly. Whoo," I said, mimicking what he'd done earlier, fanning myself. Michael burst out laughing which triggered my own. People around us looked over at us and smiled.

Dinner went by rather quickly, but it wasn't until we were almost to the stadium that I realized just where the hell I was going next. I stopped as my body suddenly lost the ability to breathe right. I bent over trying, and failing, to retain my usual breathing pattern.

"Honey?!" Michael exclaimed, alarmed. "Ky, what's wrong???"

I straightened to look at him as I continued to hyperventilate. "Bon...Jovi."

He looked confused. "Yeah, what about 'em?"

"Me. I'm...going to ...a...Bon...Jovi...concert..."

Realizing I wasn't actually ill, Michael let out his breath in a loud gush.

"Jesus, you scared the shit out of me." He wrapped me in a hug. "Now, breathe." There was that calmness again and with it my hyperventilating ceased. When I relaxed in his arms, Michael pulled back and took my face into his hands.

"Kyler, I love you so much more than anything in the whole damn universe so please, for the love of God,  _please_ remember to fucking  _breathe_  during the concert. Okay?"

I nodded. "I'll definitely try."

"Good." Michael started leading the way towards the stadium but I stopped again.

"Michael?" I asked him timidly.

"What's up, love?" He was so patient.

"Could you help me during the concert? If I forget to breathe?"

Affection filled his gaze.

"Of course, honey. Always. If we keep stopping like this we're gonna miss it, though."

He was right.

"Okay. Let's go." I held onto his hand as tight as I could without hurting him.

"Trust me, baby. You're not going to miss a thing," he promised, having felt why I was so nervous.

Okay. I could do this.

Inside, when I saw just how much closer to the stage we were than I had realized, I started hyperventilating again. Michael helped. He seemed amused.

"Now I'm starting to wonder if I've just endangered your life," he said as we sat in our seats.

"No. I'm okay. I'm okay." But the breathing problems started up  _again_ , and I leaned forward to try to put my head between my legs.

Maybe he was right...

"Oh, baby," Michael crooned with a soft chuckle as he rubbed my back. "You're okay."

After that, I finally got a grip, which was good because first: it meant I didn't miss a second of the most amazing concert I've ever attended, and second: the last song was the very song that had saved my life many years ago, and that's when Michael did the most unexpected thing. As Bon Jovi sang the lyrics to "Everybody's Broken", Michael pulled something out of his pocket, tearing my attention into two until he got down on the ground on one knee. Instantly my attention turned wholly onto him. My brain started to race. What the hell was he doing?! I mean...I knew, obviously, what he was doing, but oh my god, what the hell was he  _doing_?! Was this really fucking happening?!?

He held the little velvet box in one hand between his thumb and his forefinger, then with the other he opened it. Nestled inside was a silver band that had one sapphire lodged in the middle of it. My breathing hitched until Michael's hand touched mine, and then suddenly, my breathing righted itself, my heart started beating more strongly and I knew everything was exactly as it was meant to be.

"Kyler, will you marry me?" he mouthed—the music was too loud for us to speak.

Suddenly the tears I'd been feeling all night welling up inside me spilled over down my cheeks as everything combined together for this one completely perfect moment. There was only one answer, and as Bon Jovi sang my favorite line of the song, I nodded at Michael. My heart was fucking screaming with joy.

Cheers from people around us rose as Michael rose back to his feet. A spotlight suddenly shined on us and I saw that somehow we were on the big screens showing everyone in the stadium as Michael took the ring out of the box and slid it onto my left hand's ring finger; the ring was a perfect fit. How the hell had he set  _this_ up?! I was too utterly blind with tears to notice much else, but I heard cheers rise from the rest of the crowd as Michael then kissed me. The spotlight moved back onto the band, the screens showing that too, but all I could see was Michael. All I cared about was Michael. He was positively beaming, and I swear to God if it could've, my heart would've leapt out and melded itself right to his. The next best thing I could do was go into his arms and watch the remainder of the concert from there.

As the lights shined out into the stadium to help us navigate our way out of there, I looked down at the ring rested on my left hand, and felt the tears start anew.

Michael pressed a long kiss to my head.

"You need help walking don't you?" He guessed.

"Oh yeah," I replied, wiping the new tears off my cheeks. I was shocked I was somehow still breathing, yet here I was, alive, healthy, and so perfectly happy.

I had survived the dark hours, it  _had_ gotten better, and I finally got to see the very band that had kept me going all these years. Life didn't get any better than this. My god, I was the luckiest damn guy on the planet! It occurred to me that at some point, fate had deemed it fit to give me this slice of heaven.  _Me!_  My mind was just so beyond blown. 


	11. Chapter 11

When we got to the parking lot, I turned to Michael.

"How??" I demanded.

"It was easy. I did a little research, got the number to the band's manager and managed to get a hold of him. After a few minutes of me explaining, he thought it was sweet what I was attempting, but had to ask the band if they were okay with it. As you saw, they were. Did you see their singer smiling at us?"

"Michael, the minute you got down on one knee during  _that_ song, I didn't see anything but you." And even then, because of the tears, I hadn't seen him all that well either.

He beamed so brightly at my words. "Well, in a few weeks, we get the video recording of the concert."

I threw my hands up into the air. "That's it. You're a fucking God; so clearly out of my league."

Yet I knew before he spoke, as he drew me into his arms.

"Kyler, we are exactly meant to be, so no, I'm not out of your league, I am  _exactly_ your league. You deserve to be happy. It's simply my job to bring you as much happiness as I can."

"Well you're doing a really damned good job," I told him shortly before our lips met again. When the kiss came to an end a very long time later, Michael asked me what I wanted to do next.

"I think..." no, I knew; it was time, "I want to go home."

He saw it in my eyes. His hand took mine then, our fingers intertwined, and calmly we walked to the car. I had thought with the decision that my body would be one hectic mess of overactive nerves but every inch of me was absolutely calm. My self-confidence wasn't dropping, either. It held the deep conviction that Michael would appreciate every inch of me, that he would love every second we spent together, just as I would him. There were absolutely no doubts. I loved how I just  _knew_.

Upon arriving home, the house was dark and quiet even though it was only twenty minutes past eleven. I knew my parents had guessed where this night had been leading, though the fact that they were thinking about it was kind of bothersome. I put that out of my head, though, because this was it, this was the time, and I wanted nothing to stop it. I led the way up the stairs (they were narrow so we had to go single file) and paused when I got to the bathroom door. I had no idea what to do. I wanted to go into his bedroom, but I also wanted to be clean before we started.

Michael came up behind me, and laid his hands gently on my arms. It felt like a mild electric jolt.

"We can take a shower first if you'd like," he suggested softly.

I nodded. I couldn't pinpoint why, exactly, but taking a shower together first just seemed like the smart thing to do. It was after he joined me that I saw why. It sort of doubled as foreplay of sorts; a time to learn his body, for him to learn mine. The nerves that slammed into me in the hallway melted away as the shower progressed and by the time it was over, it was all too easy to dry off, get what we needed from the medicine cabinet and head into his bedroom. From there, the world melted away so that it was just us two, and despite having never done this kind of thing before, I did it with ease. My nerves became jumpy a couple of times but when they did, I'd simply look into Michael's eyes and knew everything was perfectly okay.

We went slowly; a touch here, a touch there, a kiss every so often, exploring each other. It was full of passion, respect, love, and affection. I'd never felt more safe in my life despite being at my most vulnerable. It was an odd sensation.

I think the greatest part was that it'd been a whole new experience for Michael, too. I could tell by the looks on his face that this was an entirely different level of making love for him, and he wouldn't have it any other way.

Eventually, peacefully, we worked towards that big finish, cleaned ourselves off, and with muscles spent and hearts full, we fell into a deep, peaceful sleep.

The following morning I woke in his arms. I had expected the feelings from last night to wear off; the total satisfaction, the intensity of the affection, but both lingered upon waking. Michael was still asleep so I lay as still as possible to let him. He was smiling in his sleep, though, and I wondered what he was dreaming. I noticed everything seemed brighter somehow, clearer, like a fog finally lifting. It was then I realized what was happening. The fog that had coated everything in a sort of negative light had been my depression, and it  _was_  lifting now that I was in a better place, that I was loved so completely. The depression no longer had the same hold upon me as it once did. I looked at the guy who'd given that to me and I still couldn't believe it. One person had changed my entire wellbeing with some loving attention.

"I know you're staring at me," Michael murmured then. He opened his eyes and looked at me, immediately smiling as our eyes met. "Good morning, beautiful."

My heart purred.

"Good morning gorgeous," I replied, suddenly self-conscious. It was the oddest thing. Not once had I felt self-conscious last night but now that we were in the morning after, I was suddenly worried that I'd gotten  _too_ lost in the moment last night.

"Trust me, you weren't the only one," Michael said then. "Come here." He reached for me with one hand so I leaned in. He put his hand on my cheek and then leaned up to meet my lips with a tender kiss. I lowered back down to the bed, my chest resting partly on his, my left hand on the edge of the bed for support. His free arm secured around my waist. We laid there for a while, just kissing, until a knock sounded on the door, scaring the bejesus out of me.

Michael laughed while I recovered with my face hidden against his chest.

"You're so adorable," he murmured as he pulled the sheets up around us.

"We're awake!" He called then to whoever knocked.

"Are you decent?" my mother called.

"We are covered," Michael replied. The door opened and mom stepped into the room. She looked at me and smiled tentatively.

"Morning, hon."

"Hi, mom." I wondered why she was staring at me like that. It was a motherly look. That's as best as I could describe it.

"Sleep well?" she asked.

"Yup."

Michael ran his hand through my hair. It was a simple touch but it somehow felt wonderfully better than before.

"So, your father and I are headed to church and wondered if you'd like to go along."

I stared at her with a gaping expression. She was kidding, right? Surely she'd known what Michael and I had been up to last night. I mean...I mean, wouldn't it be super hypocritical to go where our type were frowned upon the very day after a night spent doing that which they frowned upon?

Michael started laughing suddenly, drawing my attention to him. Mom started laughing, too. I couldn't fight the smile that formed watching the joy shining in Michael's expression, but I also couldn't figure out what the fuck he was laughing about.

"Oh, Ky, you should've seen your face!" He cried suddenly, laughing harder as he rested his free arm on his forehead. He looked truly happy and I loved seeing it so much I was unable to resist lightly touching the corner of his mouth. It bothered me none that he'd been laughing at me. I cared only about how beautifully happy he looked. His laughter subsided as his eyes met mine, deep golden pools of affection. My heart started thrumming.

"What we're really doing," my mom said then as her laughter, too, subsided, "is going shopping and I wondered if you boys needed anything."

Why did that feel like an innuendo? I pretended like I hadn't thought if it like that.

"Not that I know of." I looked at Michael. "You?"

"Nope, all good here."

"Alright. You two behave yourselves."

We smiled at her, she turned and left. I let out a sigh.

"That was awkward."

"It'll get easier," Michael assured me. "Now, do you wanna stay in bed awhile or do you want to get the day going?"

"Do you have more planned?" I asked him.

"Nope. Totally free day to do whatever we want."

"Well, then..." I started to lean in, "I wanna stay for a bit."

He smiled briefly before our lips met. No other words were necessary.

After we eventually left the bed, showered, dressed, and got ourselves breakfast, I felt the desire to simply walk the beach with him. He had absolutely no complaints about that. Even the weather seemed to be in support of that idea. It was a pleasant seventy degrees out with a slight breeze and clear skies. As an added measure there was barely anybody else on the beach so we were free to walk with our arms around each other instead of merely holding hands. He stood to my left with his right arm around my shoulders, that hand dangling against my shoulder, which I intertwined with the fingers on my right hand while I held my left arm around his waist.

"So," Michael began, "how do you feel?"

I knew what he was asking.

"Muscles are sore but otherwise I'm great. You okay?"

He slanted a look my way.

"Why is it when we make love you have total, utter confidence but the moment we're done you start to doubt yourself?"

I shrugged. It was true, I had no idea why.

He pressed a kiss to my head.

"I'm absolutely wonderful," he assured me.

I smiled and looked at the ground. Michael chuckled.

"I love you so much," he said with a happy sigh.

"I love you the same," I replied, resting my head against his shoulder; he rested his head against mine. We walked in silence for a while. It was a long beach so we had a ways before we had to turn around and head back. We walked close enough to the water so it periodically washed over our feet. It felt cool compared to the warm sand. It was wonderful.

Gerry, who apparently was like a dog with a bone when it came to me, appeared out of fucking nowhere before us screaming "AHA! I caught you, fucker!" at Michael just as we stopped short to avoid running into him.

I was hardly shocked; so far my life was things going wrong after things went well. I had kind of hoped whatever caused shit to happen would give me a break during the year I spent with Michael, but I guess I was wrong.

"Caught me doing what, Gerry?" Michael asked calmly.

"I  _saw_ you cheating on Kyler! I saw you having sex with someone else! I have proof!" He looked at me then and offered me a picture. I gave Michael my  _I'm humoring him_  look as I took the photo and proceeded to look at it. The picture had been taken close enough to see that Michael was indeed having sex, but far enough away that you couldn't see who else was in the photo. It was then I noticed the time stamp: this morning.

I laughed and showed it to Michael who, after a second, started smiling.

I looked at Gerry.

"Ger, you  _just_ took this photo."

"So! He was cheating on you!"

"That was me beneath him, you dolt!"

Gerry looked perplexed as he studied the picture that Michael had returned to him.

"But..." He looked at me. "You wouldn't even touch me when we were together. I mean not there. And whenever I tried with you, you'd hastily make some excuse and run off."

Michael not-so-subtly returned his arm to around my shoulders, not bothering to hide the smug look on his face. He was beginning to dislike my ex and  _this_ was one win Gerry would never have.

It was kind of adorable seeing Michael starting to get competitive with a guy I no longer held any interest in, which was weird because normally I hated it when guys acted possessive over me.

"Sorry," I told Gerry, "he's different."

Gerry sighed heavily.

"It's not fucking fair! You said you'd never dump me for someone better looking and yet you went ahead and you did just that!"

"Gerry, when are you going to get it through that thick skull of yours?" I snapped. I was tired of going around and around in this pointless circle with him.

"He doesn't belong with you," Michael finished for me. "His heart, his soul, they're meant to be paired with mine. We're two halves of a whole. You are not. Frankly, though, you  _are_ beginning to annoy the hell out of us, which is pissing me off because we don't have much time left and you're wasting it by making us have to deal with you. For the last fucking time, he doesn't love you and he doesn't want you, so move the hell on!"

Gerry looked stunned but it may have been just the kick he needed to realize there was nothing here for him.

"Okay." He looked at me one more time, to be sure. I nodded at him.

"He's right," I said.

"Okay," he said again and started towards the road.

I looked at Michael.

"Think he finally got it?"

"I fucking hope so cos if he confronts us yet again I might just punch him and I don't want to do that."

"You don't?" I asked, sort of shocked, and yet...not really.

"He's someone you once cared about. As annoying and time consuming as he is, I respect that you once loved him. I don't want to hurt him because in a way it's like hurting a part of you and I don't want to hurt  _any_ part of you."

Awe!

"My, you've got quite the silver tongue, don't ya?" I was kind of turned on, actually.

"You want to kiss me, don't you?"

"Oh my  _God,_  so badly!"

He laughed at the same time he pulled me in against him, and then planted his lips on mine. Kissing was better now, too. Everything was just so much  _better_.

Afterwards, we finished our walk, and decided to go home for some lunch. My parents were home when we arrived, and they both grinned as we walked in. It was then I remembered, all at once, what had gone down last night between Michael and me before we'd made love. I found myself holding out my left hand and staring at the ring, which was so much prettier in the daylight. I hadn't really gotten a good look at it last night since too much had been going on. Michael, who was always watching what I did, slid his arm back around my waist and pressed yet another tender kiss to the side of my head.

"I forgot, too," he murmured. I felt his elation, turned, and kissed him again. I could never kiss him enough, it seemed; I always wanted more the second our lips separated.

"So when's the wedding?" My dad asked calmly, interrupting the moment.

"We, uh, we haven't talked about it yet," Michael replied, "kind of got distracted."

Those memories hit me all at once, too. Michael had to deploy some calm to prevent me from grabbing him by the shirt and taking him upstairs like I suddenly, desperately wanted.

It was an adjustment.

Mom was staring at us with that  _you guys are just so damned cute_ look on her face. Dad was looking at us sort of amused-like.

"Well, when you do talk, just let us know what the plans are," dad told us. "We're more than happy to help out any way we can."

I looked at Michael, feeling like I was radiating light. I realized suddenly that I was sensing how he was seeing me. It wasn't that I was radiating light; it was that he saw me like that, which, honestly, was exactly how I saw him.

I laid a hand to his cheek. "You have no idea how beautiful you really are," I told him.

"The same goes for you," he replied.

I started to shake my head but he caught it between his hands and forced me to look directly at him.

"You're just as beautiful, Kyler."

Somehow we transitioned then from standing still to slow dancing which transitioned to closely slow dancing, which transitioned, like always, to kissing for a very,  _very_  long time. I couldn't believe only a month had gone by. It felt like we'd been falling in love for years. It was just...beautiful.


	12. Chapter 12

After dinner, during washing dishes is when I brought up a wedding idea.

"I wanna marry by our spot."

Michael didn't even so much as twitch. He did smile at me, though.

"Not so shocking, eh?" I said then.

"None whatsoever, my love."

"Well, I want to do it completely naked," I said then. Oh, I hadn't meant it, but as soon as the words left my mouth, he instantly dropped the cup he was holding back into the rinse water, splashing some water onto himself. He didn't seem to notice that, though, as he stood, gaping at me.

"You want to  _what?!_ "

I laughed. "You should see the look on your face right now."

Realizing what I'd done, he let out a slight gasp, and then splashed me.

"Hey!" I exclaimed, splashing him then.

"Oh, it is ON." He splashed me even more.

I turned on the water, grabbed the hose and attempted to point it at him but the minute I had turned the water on, he'd known what I was up to, grabbed my wrist with one hand and was trying to use the other to take the sprayer out of my hand. What he hadn't accounted for, however, was that I needed only to simply exert a little force with my hand to get the sprayer to turn on, which I did.

"Oh my god, Kyler, seriously, stop it!"

"Make me!"

He uttered the sexiest low growl and attempted to splash me with enough water to surprise me in order to make me lessen my hold on the sprayer, which failed  _and_ ended up getting him soaked.

"Fine," he snarled, forgetting the sprayer. Instead he grabbed me by the waist, hoisted me up onto the counter and seized my lips entirely with his own. I instantly let go of the sprayer to hang onto him as passion between us abruptly spiked through the fucking roof. He uttered a noise in the back of his throat, something akin to frustration. I felt it all too clearly. He wanted every part of me right this very second but couldn't get it fast enough; it was  _his_ hormones wildly out of control (though mine weren't that far behind, honestly), and I had no idea how to calm him down since he was the one with the calming power which clearly wasn't working all that great right now.

My involuntary moan didn't help him one bit. His hands pulled the shirt that was tucked into my pants out, and I have no doubt he would've pulled it off me entirely when suddenly, like a switch flipping, he muttered the words  _not here_  and jerked away from me until his back hit the island in the middle of the room. He was panting (I was, too). I'd never seen his eyes quite so frenzied; he usually was the one in control.

We stared at each other for a bit, letting our bodies calm down. When our breathing returned to normal and stayed there, I apologized to him, which broke the sudden tension between us. He smiled. As I got off the counter, he approached me and, to my surprise, he wrapped me in a tender hug, buried his face in my hair, and then stayed there.

Mom walked in on us several minutes later; we were standing perfectly still in each other's arms.

"Oh, you guys  _are_ okay," she commented. "It got suddenly very quiet in here. We got concerned." We moved finally, parting slightly.

"Sorry, mom," I replied. "We were goofing around, and, like, things got a bit heated, and, heh, yeah."

"Are you okay, Michael?" Mom asked then. Michael was still clinging to me, his face buried in my hair.

"I'm okay," Michael told her, his voice muffled by my hair. "I'm just taking a few to calm down."

"I can't help him the way he can me," I added. Michael squeezed me to say it was perfectly okay.

"That's alright; for the record, boys, thank you for having such excellent self-control." With that, mom left the room. When she was gone, I eased back to look at his face.

"Honestly, are you okay?"

"I am, truly. Now I understand what it was like for you. How in the hell did you resist that?!"

"I didn't. You had to calm me down, remember?" I told him, smiling from the memories.

He chuckled and drew me into a hug again.

"I so adore you," he said reverently.

"I adore you more," I teased.

He uttered a low groan. "Don't start. We stopped it the first time. I don't think we'd stop it a second time."

He was absolutely right.

"Want to continue washing the dishes? Try to distract ourselves?"

"Not a horrible idea. First, though." His lips found mine for a short, sweet kiss before we returned to our previous spots at the double sink.

After dishes we went outside and cuddled in the hammock my father had put up a few days ago. We'd had no time to use it, and I was grateful we'd finally found a moment. It was the perfect spot to discuss wedding details seriously.

Michael apparently had the same idea because shortly after we got comfortable (the hammock was big enough for both of us to use it side-by-side) with arms around each other and my head rested against his chest, he started the discussion.

"So, we got the location for the wedding. What time should we have it?"

"Hmmm. I like the idea of a sunset wedding."

"But?"

"Isn't that super cliché?"

"Honey, that part matters none. This wedding is for  _us_ , not society. I think a beach wedding at sunset sounds perfectly wonderful."

I smiled, felt his smile as he rested his lips against the side of my forehead.

"Okay?" he murmured.

"Okay," I replied softly.

He pressed a kiss there.

"What date should we pick?" I asked then.

"Hm. Tomorrow."

I laughed; he laughed with me.

"I don't know, really," he said then. "I mean, I don't want it too soon like this month but I also don't want it to be too far away like towards the end of the year. I kind of think an autumn wedding would be nice."

Yup, he was my perfect half.

"I was just thinking that. November, then? It gives us only about a month to prepare, but, like, I can't imagine it'd be a big wedding, and we could have people bring over meals to make it cheaper, too, and at the same time have a variety of food that people would actually want to eat."

"I love the way your mind works."

My heart swelled at the affection that laced every letter in that sentence as it left his lips, which met mine suddenly. I rested my left hand on his cheek while he hugged me to him. When I started feeling drugged, I broke away, and rested my head back against his chest.

So, we had the date, the time, the location; we'd touched upon alternatives to catering to make it cheaper, and briefly mentioned who we'd invite (I wanted to talk with my parents about that part so that would come later). What was left?

"The song we dance our first dance to together is pretty obvious," Michael said then.

I smiled, my heart already wanting to weep.

"If you want me to cry, sure," I replied.

"Oh hush now. Everyone cries at weddings. Besides. If you think you're the only one that that song affects, you are sorely mistaken."

"Not  _once_ have I seen you holding back tears, Michael."

"That's because I've too much experience holding them back to avoid getting beaten for it."

That got my attention, and I maneuvered onto my elbow to look at him. He gazed upon me; took a turn resting a hand against my cheek. It took me so completely by surprise that someone would dare hit this beautiful angel simply for having emotions.

"It's okay. The longer I spend with you, the more open to my emotions I become. Trust me, you'll see me cry."

"Bet you're beautiful even when you cry," I told him as I kissed him and returned back to my spot against his chest.

"Oh, stop it, you," he crooned.

"Nevah!" I crooned back.

"My poor, poor heart," Michael said happily.

I knew that feeling all too well.

"So. What's left to plan?" I mused. Then it dawned on me. "Are we going to wear tuxedos?"

"Hmmm. They're awfully expensive even to rent, and if you rent you gotta take extreme care of them, and then you gotta pay to have them dry cleaned."

"We're poor as hell aren't we?"

Michael laughed. "We're high school students, babe."

Oh, right.

"Why do I feel older?"

"Right? It's the oddest thing."

"You too??"

"Since the moment our eyes met when you saved my life."

"Me, too."

We fell silent for a while, musing.

Then I asked:

"Does it feel like it's been years?"

"Yup."

"So odd."

"Very."

My brain was starting to slide towards that very dangerous memory so I quickly fought to change the subject back to our wedding.

"So, if not tuxes, then what?"

"Well, we could do shirt and tie, with trousers and maybe some nice shoes?"

I immediately pictured him waiting at the altar, wearing a light blue plain button down shirt with a white tie, beige trousers, and shiny black shoes. Michael felt something in my mood that made him utter a low "mm" sound. It sort of rumbled in his chest.

"What are you seeing?" He murmured.

I told him every detail I could remember from my little day dream. At the finish, he gave a little nod of his head.

"That sounds perfect especially since I was picturing you wearing a white shirt with a black tie, black trousers, and shiny black shoes."

"Yin and yang," I immediately identified in that scenario. Confused? His tie had been white in my day dream while mine had been black in his; yin and yang, two halves completing a whole. It was just so damn perfect. Tears welled up in my eyes as it dawned on me that this was really happening. We were getting married.

"Honey?" Michael wondered as he saw a tear escape.

"It's okay. I'm okay. It's just...so perfect."

Michael stroked my hair.

"It's going to be the best day for us yet. I have a feeling it's going to be...I can't even describe it."

"Like something monumental is going to change," I finished.

"Yes! Exactly! But, like, a good monumental."

"Yeah, definitely."

"Now I can't wait."

I laughed at that.

"Well, ya gotta."

"Well, fine, if you  _insist_."

I laughed again, he laughed with me. Once more my mind obsessed over how much I loved this guy. I'd never loved like this before; never knew I  _could_  love fiercely with every ounce of my being, yet still feeling like it wasn't enough when it was more than he'd ever dreamed of having. Right then a gentle breeze kicked up, sending a shot of ocean air our way. I breathed in deeply, noticing how easy it was to simply breathe now. It didn't feel like every breath was a struggle. I loved how complete I felt. I couldn't stop obsessing over that either.

"I love the way you do that," Michael commented then, sounding as madly in love with me as I was with him.

"Do what?" I murmured back at him.

"Whenever a breeze kicks up, you inhale deeply, and let it go with a happy sigh. I fall in love with you all over again every single time."

And around and around we went.

Deciding not to fight it, I carefully maneuvered on the hammock so that I was on top of him completely, and from there I kissed him. As his arms squeezed me tight, I knew he could feel exactly what I wanted and held no objections. It thrilled me how I could want him in such a way and have him want me exactly the same. We made it back into the house and this time went into my bedroom, no shower. He'd just gotten my pants unzipped when I realized the one thing I was supposed to have checked first.

Michael laughed as I suddenly went "Oh!" and ran out of the room. I was back within seconds, items we needed in my hands.

He took them, placed them on the nightstand where we could reach them, and then took my waist, turned me around and gave me a slight shove onto the bed.

Enough said.

We might've been a bit louder this time around...not that that really mattered much to me anymore.


	13. Chapter 13

I hated that we had school today, and I mean  _hated_ that we had school today. It was unholy torture that we had to get up before it was even light outside. Darkness was for sleeping, damn it!! Michael was trying every damn thing to get me out of bed and nothing was working. Finally he resorted to whining.

"Come on, Ky! Pl-e-e-ea-a-a-se!"

It hit the oddest spot within my soul. I sat up and stared at him, intrigued. He let out a gasp.

"No way that worked!" he exclaimed.

I couldn't understand it, either, but I suddenly had no desire to lie back down.

He suddenly got a mischievous look in his eyes, and slowly started towards me.

"What are you doing?" I asked him.

He emitted a low, long-held whining noise in the back of his throat. Within seconds my heart was  _screaming_  at me to go soothe him, so I got out from underneath the covers, off the bed, and into his arms, holding him close to me. When the whine stopped, my heart, my soul, and my whole body breathed a collective sigh of relief. He was okay again.

"That was cool." He buried his face against my neck. "Now, do I need to convince you to shower with me?" He asked then.

Not one bit. I even led the way, much to his amusement.

My parents were dead shocked when I walked into the kitchen at six-thirty in the morning completely showered and dressed.

"How in the hell did you get him out of bed?!" My dad demanded. "Seriously, it takes the both of us an hour and then some just to get him to wake up."

Michael smiled.

"Apparently when I whine he can't resist doing whatever it takes to get me to stop."

I sensed that he was about to demonstrate, whirled on him, pointed my finger at him, and exclaimed:

"For the love of God, Michael, please don't! They can use their imaginations!"

Michael looked intrigued.

"Just what does it do to you?"

I sighed. "It makes my heart scream at me to make you feel better. Everything within me becomes obsessed with doing whatever is necessary to make you stop that heartbreaking noise because apparently my body thinks you're in pain or something and its first reaction is to make you feel better."

He remained fascinated.

"That's really cool."

"Yeah, it's really fucking fascinating." I sat on a bar stool at the island in the middle of the kitchen and laid my head on my arms on it.

"Mondays are always the hardest," my mom commented. Michael, of course, knew this already, and set out to make me feel better. I appreciated the way he held my head against his chest where I could listen to his heart beat nice and steady.

Mom took a picture again.

"Mom, don't you have like ten of that same picture?"

"Maybe so, but it's wonderful to have pictures of every little part of your life with your soul mate. You'll thank me."

Which brought my moody brain around to the fact that the guy holding me against him right now wouldn't be doing so a year from now. It was the first time in several weeks that my brain had focused on that fact long enough for the soul ripping agony to hit.

Desperately needing air, I rushed out of there into the back yard. Michael chased after me to hold me but I was too lost in the despair to want to be touched. I hit his arms away, letting out a wail so unlike me. Michael tried again, I deflected again; he kept right on trying and eventually I couldn't even stand up on my own. He caught me and fell to his knees as my own buckled. Sobs heaved out of me and I started wailing at him to make the pain stop. By that point I wasn't fighting him at all anymore. I threw my arms around him and grasped fistfuls of his shirt at his back. He wanted to panic, I could feel it in his body, but he held it together long enough to get me to calm down.

When the last sob left me and the tears started to subside, I felt the half-sob as it left Michael. I looked up in time to see the two tears roll down his cheeks. I touched one, marveling at it.

"You're crying."

He said nothing, just grabbed me back against him. I closed my eyes and forced myself to focus on the present moment, on how it felt to have him holding me desperately, on how love unlike any other poured from him and surrounded every inch of me. Soon enough the both of us were calm again, almost no sign of my total breakdown and his partial one save for the tears drying on our cheeks.

"I'm sorry," I said then. "I don't...it just...I..."

"It's okay." Michael took a steadying breath then wiped the moisture from my cheeks. "I think we're entitled to a few breakdowns given the nature of our relationship. Are you okay?"

"Are you?"

"Kyler, I asked you first." His no-nonsense tone told me to just tell him.

"I'm okay. Your turn."

He leaned in, pressed a gentle kiss on my lips, and answered: "I'm alright."

"I'm sorry," I said again.

He managed a meek smile.

"We'll survive. Come on. You gave your parents quite the scare in there. I think they're entitled to some hugs."

I nodded. Michael got to his feet first, and then helped me to mine. When we walked into the kitchen, Michael started to step off to the side right as my parents started to move in, but I yanked him back in time to be engulfed, too, by my parents. When the hugs ended, I looked at him.

"You're family, too, Michael. I'm not the only one going through this, remember?"

Tears welled up in his eyes again and I instantly felt bad.

"I'm sorry," I said for the third time, hugging him.

"My turn," he mumbled, and proceeded to break down in my arms. Despite how hard I tried, fresh tears welled up and ran down my cheeks, which triggered my mom crying which triggered my dad to cry. It was a big ol' cry fest for a few minutes. It was sort of embarrassing but I think each of us felt sort of refreshed once the tears ebbed. Nobody mentioned anything about it when it was over. Mom just went ahead and started on cooking some pancakes. Dad opened up his newspaper to read it. As for Michael and I, we sat at the island, held hands, and rested our heads together. Today felt like one of those bad, bullshit days.

I wasn't wrong.

When we headed out to go to school, some accident had just occurred  _right_ outside our house then, so we were late for school, then my first period teacher yelled at me in front of the entire class for being twenty minutes late, then I discovered I left  _all_ of my homework at home, so I basically went from a straight-A report card down to a straight-C while being lectured in front of the class by every teacher that morning, then my ring fell off my finger during gym while I was changing, and I couldn't find it at first, but one of my friends spotted it and snatched it up before one of the jocks could discover and make fun of me, and  _then_  I tripped on my way to English class over absolutely nothing, fell down, and watched as my papers scattered across the hallway. Everyone in the hall took the time to laugh at me but not one bothered to take the time to help me, so I was late to my English class too, and I got yelled at again for that  _and_ for not having my homework. All of that happened before lunch. When the bell rang for lunch, I stalked out of the English class, past where my boyfriend waited for me, towards the stairs that would lead me to an entrance to the school. I just fucking wanted out and I wanted out  _now._ Michael followed me, concerned. When I got to a tree outside, I started punching it. Knowing he had mere seconds before I started zapping the damned thing, Michael grabbed me away from the tree, managed to get his hands on my face, forced me to focus on him, and talked me down.

I broke down for the second time that day, and it wasn't even close to over.

"My god, Ky," Michael groaned as he pulled me into his embrace, "You're having a day from hell, aren't you?"

"That comes nowhere close to describing just how this motherfucking day is fucking going!" I proceeded to rant: "I got yelled at in my first period class for being late, I forgot all my damn homework at home so not only is everyone failing me, they're doing so after chewing my ass out in front of the fucking class, I keep dropping shit and tripping and that ended up making me late to English because everyone took the time to point and laugh but not to fucking help, and I got yelled at AGAIN, this time twice by the same teacher at the same time, and I...just..." I plopped onto the ground and put my head between my knees. "I want it to fucking stop!"

Michael sat beside me, put an arm around my shoulders, pressed a kiss to my head, and said: "I have a plan, but it requires some walking."

I sighed, and looked at him.

"What's the plan?"

"We're going to go home, get your homework, and then we're going to every class you had this morning and we're going to force them to change your grade. You're a marvelous student, and far too good a soul to suffer like this. I won't let it happen. I'd go myself and let you chill here but lunch is a time when those jocks attack and you're barely holding together even with me here helping so I think it's safer for everyone if you come with me."

I didn't fight it one bit. I mostly just wanted to get the hell away from that school for as long as I could. So, we went home, found my homework, came back, and the teachers all wanted to teach me a lesson but Michael used the voice on each of them so they all changed their minds, admitting that I really was a good student, and that even the best make mistakes sometimes. I was human, after all, not superman. After that, Michael took me to lunch at Subway across the street. By the time it was time to go back to school for the second time, I was in a better mood. I spent a long two minutes I should've spent making my way to class kissing him instead.

The second half of the day went much better than the first, and at the end of my last class, seeing that Michael had gotten out of his early just to wait for me, I ran over to him, threw my arms around his neck, and kissed him fervently.

"Ready to go home?" He asked afterwards. Suddenly he froze, and that's when I saw the vision (because we were touching):  _The group of jocks made their way down the hall, their intended target was me. They snatched me away from Michael who couldn't use his powers to stop them (likewise I couldn't use mine), and took me struggling and all to the football field where they had prepared the yearly "sacrifice". Every year the team picked one guy to put on this giant scarecrow cross thing, buck ass naked, then write in permanent marker one mega insult across the guy's chest. Every year that guy had been me ever since my first year at this school. Every year the teachers just looked the other way because it'd been going on for several years now, and now the scandal would be far too big a mess to sweep neatly under the rug. This year I had Michael but the team wasn't stupid. Shortly after getting outside, the team split into two groups. One group dealt with me, the other dealt with Michael. Michael's group dragged him back to the gymnasium, beat him into unconsciousness, then hid him so that the janitors wouldn't find him and thus lock him in until someone came first thing the following day._

When the vision ended, Michael and I knew we had exactly four seconds to get out of this hallway. That was not nearly enough time to escape, as it would take at least six just to get to the end of the hall where the stairs were.

"Michael," I groaned.

"I know."

The football players rounded the corner and immediately spotted us.

"Michael."

"I know."

" _Michael_." I was panicking.

"Baby, what do you want me to do?! If we run, they'll just chase us, catch us, and drag us back! If we manage to get home, they'll probably break in just to grab us and drag us back!"

"Well, there's got to be  _something_  we can do! We can't just stand here!"

"No shit, Sherlock!"

"Hey! I don't see  _you_ coming up with any brilliant ideas, Einstein!"

While we bickered the players got closer and closer.

I let out a frustrated groan.

"I wish they'd just fucking STOP!" And when I gestured to them, everyone in the hall but me and Michael (because he had one hand gripping the shirt at my waist in a fist) completely stopped.

"Uh," I said.

"Woah," Michael added. We looked at each other.

"New power," we chorused.

"Okay, so, uhm, now, do you think it'll start up again if we move from this spot?" I asked.

"I have no idea."

"I'm scared to find out."

Michael studied the football players that were mere feet from us, and then looked at me. "Well, we can't just stand here indefinitely."

"So we need a plan."

"Yes, that makes sense, but what??"

"I don't know," I whined, getting frustrated again.

He shushed me, releasing my shirt in the same move that put his hand flat against my side where he rubbed. They stayed frozen, he remained unfrozen,  _and_ I calmed down some.

"If we move, and time starts up again we need something that'll deter all of them long enough for us to escape."

"True. Very good idea." Michael studied our surroundings. "But since neither of us has the power of telekinesis what do you suggest we do to deter them?"

"Best I can do is toss a bolt somewhere behind them."

"That's risky, hon."

"I know it is but what the hell else can we do?!" I immediately felt bad for snipping at him.

"Okay, okay. I know. I know. Okay. Well, let's try—wait. Didn't you say you have super speed?"

"I don't know about super but faster than normal, yeah."

Michael's eyes held mine, and in his I saw that brain of his churning.

"Do you think it's fast enough to get away from them while they're distracted  _and_ get completely out of their line of sight?"

I looked at the group, and then at him, remembering it'd taken me only seconds to get from my house to the beach where his father had held him captive. That normally was a ten minute walk. With that knowledge, I felt confidence begin to seep in about this plan we were hatchin'.

"I think it's more than fast enough," I told him.

He smiled.

"Great! Okay, you ready?"

"No," I said instantly.

He sighed as he rolled his eyes.

"Just go, Ky."

I took a deep breath, started building the electricity until it pooled at my hands and then I sent the bolt far beyond the team. As soon as I'd sent the bolt, time had started up. I tried to make it look as if I had been reaching up to scratch my nose. Milliseconds after that, the bolt hit the clock at the end of the hall with enough sparks to distract everyone else in the hallway. Without missing a beat, I lifted Michael into my arms and bolted like hell. Within two minutes we made it home and all the way up into my room before I set him down.

His eyes had a bit of a glazed over look to them and he had some trouble keeping his balance.

"I'm alright, I'm good," he assured me as I frantically grabbed him to keep him from falling over. "Just give me a minute."

I waited patiently. Within a minute Michael did recover.

"That was so incredibly sexy," he said then.

I don't know why that jumpstarted my hormones but it did, and the next thing I knew I had him on the bed with his clothes halfway off before I realized what I was doing.

"Why'd you stop?" Michael asked.

"I...uh...because I...kind of...I didn't ask if..."

He smiled. "Trust me when I tell you, Kyler, I fucking want you to."

That was all I needed.


	14. Chapter 14

"Holy Christ," Michael gasped out after we finished. I was still lying on top of him; pretty sure my muscles would never work again after the orgasm that had just ripped through my body. Well, that's what it'd felt like.

"Understatement," I said in a contented sigh. "You mind if I just...never move?"

"I don't mind one bit."

I wondered if my parents were home and how much of that they'd heard. Not that I was particularly ashamed. If anything I was thrilled. We were discovering more about each other and reaching new levels every time we made love. I kind of hoped we never lost this magic.

The room was silent except for our calming breathing. It seemed startling in contrast to all the noise we'd spent the past hour making. Then it occurred to me we had a lot of homework to get done. I let out a groan about that unpleasant fact.

"What's wrong?" Michael asked. "Are you in pain?"

"No." I kissed his chest. "I just remembered all the homework we have."

Michael feigned a horrified gasp.

"How  _dare_ you bring such negativity into our space of pure affection! My lord, man, do you not appreciate the positive space we spent the last hour working our asses off to create?!"

"What in God's name are you rambling about?" I asked him, completely lost but oh so attracted to him for it at the same time.

He grinned. "I have no idea."

I laughed, segued into kissing him which then segued into us resting, both his arms wrapped completely around me, my head comfortably resting on his chest. It was wonderful until my bladder started warning me that if I didn't get to the bathroom it was fully willing to let go here and now regardless to where I was.

Michael, without thinking, uttered a low whine as I got off him. My body froze on command, overriding the bladder's need for release.

"Hon, could you do me the tiniest of favors?" I asked with strain clear in my voice.

He propped himself up on his elbows to get a better look at me.

"What's up?"

"I desperately need to pee. Could you release me?"

At first he was confused, and then it dawned on him. His eyes went wide.

"Oh! I whined. Oh, shit. I'm so sorry." Panic started to seep into his gaze. "Uh, I don't know how to release you."

My bladder got closer and closer to releasing, and I couldn't dance to try to hold it off.

"Michael, my entire body is completely paralyzed."

"You never got paralyzed before."

"Michael!" I hissed, practically screaming  _not the time_ at him.

"Okay! Okay! Uhm. Here." He got off the bed, came over to me, and laid a hand on my arm. That was the right thing to do. My body felt in his that he was perfectly fine. My muscles unlocked. Out of time, I ran to the bathroom and  _barely_ got the lid and seat up before my bladder let go.

I heaved a sigh of immense relief. Michael appeared in the doorway, looking apologetic.

Finished, I flushed the toilet, washed my hands, and then turned to him and patted his cheek.

"Thank you. Do you need the bathroom?"

"No, I was just curious if you made it in time."

I laughed at that. "I could've just told you, Michael. You're such a perv."

"Am not!" He exclaimed as he walked with me back to my bedroom. I closed the door after I was through (he had gone in first). Michael turned to face me. "Why didn't you tell me to not look, then? Clearly  _you're_ the perv."

We were standing in my bedroom, both of us entirely naked, bickering playfully.

"We are entirely too comfortable with each other," I told him then.

I saw it dawn on him. He guffawed.

"Hell, we really are." He started over to me, put one hand on my waist when he got close enough, and then reached around me with his other hand to the dresser behind me.

"What are you doing?" I wondered.

"Just go with it," he said cryptically. Within two seconds, when he turned on the music, I realized just what he was doing.

"You're crazy!" I cried, laughing.

"You love every second of this," he stated, pulling me in close.

He was completely right. A giggle bubbled out of me as we continued to dance buck-ass-naked in the middle of my bedroom to our song.

"We ain't doing this at the wedding, though," Michael said during the middle of the next song.

I pouted. "You sure know how to bring a guy down."

"Oh? I can fix that." He spun me out, spun me back in, and then dipped me backwards. Laughter bubbled out of me, and I got lost in the absolute joy shining in his eyes. This was entirely way too much fun. When I did the same thing to him, he pulled me down too him too fast and I ended up losing my balance. Laughter roared from the both of us in one minute after we fell, then in the next we were passionately kissing and just like that the moment was over; mostly because as fun as it was, we  _did_ have a lot of homework and it was already close to five in the evening. After we took a quick shower together, dried off, put on some deodorant, and dressed in my room, we shared one last kiss before he left to go to his room. The minute he closed the door after him, I sorely missed him.

I finished my homework by seven or so, just in time for dinner. Michael was already downstairs chatting with my parents. He stopped mid-sentence as he spotted me and started beaming. My heart wanted me to use my super speed (for lack of a better term) to be in his arms in mere milliseconds but I forced myself to go my normal pace. It made it all the sweeter when he and I finally made contact and kissed. Together again, our hearts settled once more into a state of pure calm, and Michael was able to finish what he'd been saying.

"So, we ended up outwitting them. I do feel bad for whomever they chose in lieu of Kyler."

"And you say this happens every year, and nobody does a thing about it??" My mother wondered.

"Ma, you knew about it. It happened to me the past three years."

She looked at me, confused at first, and then her memory kicked in.

"Oh, hell! How the hell did I forget that?!"

Without missing a beat...

"Clearly you don't love the boy," dad teased. Mom immediately turned to him. Seconds later dad was on his knees on the floor, cradling his groin all without mom having touched him.

"Woah, neat trick," Michael commented.

Mom smiled sweetly.

"Thanks. Don't piss me off." I instinctively moved in front of Michael when she gestured at him. It made her laugh.

"Honey, Michael didn't do anything to warrant  _that_."

"Sorry, mom, I couldn't help it."

"It's perfectly understandable, love. You can make it up to me by peeling these potatoes. Try not to cut yourself this time, okay sweetums? Michael, could you take these scraps out back. Just toss them over the fence. Thank you."

Michael did as told. By the time he'd returned, dad had just managed to get himself onto one of the chairs at the table.

"Michael, could you get me some ice in a bag please?" He asked then.

"Sure thing," Michael responded, automatically adjusting his course. I loved the way his body moved. He caught me watching him and sent me a smile.

"Honey, you might want to watch what  _you're_  doing, not what I'm doing."

Oh! Right. I returned my attention to the task at hand. I couldn't figure out why I was having so much trouble focusing tonight.

Conversation flowed between the four of us, and soon enough dinner was ready. As we sat and began to eat, dad asked if we had started planning for the wedding. Michael and I took turns telling them. Their favorite part seemed to be the having our guests bring their own dishes. Probably because that meant they wouldn't have to cook a thing.

It was then that a date was solidified: November ninth, exactly one month and a few days from now. We were excited. This wedding was becoming a real thing. I couldn't wait.

_One month later:_

_November sixth_

Oh my god I was so damn nervous. There were just three days until the wedding. We had less than fifty people attending, all of whom agreed they'd bring one dish to the event. Dress was casual. Michael and I had gotten our outfits, which actually turned out even better when we decided to add a boutonniere (those flower pin things men often wear for formal events) to our shirts. On his would be a black flower (since I'd wear a black tie) and I would wear a white flower (since he'd wear a white tie). We had also found wedding rings we absolutely loved. We found the most perfect archway to stand in. Dad had gotten ordained online and we'd gotten our marriage license. That last part I hadn't been quite so thrilled about, but Michael got me to see it was a tiny, insignificant detail in the whole of the marriage. We decided reception would be held in the backyard with access to the house if anyone needed the bathroom. Unsurprisingly the weather was looking to be great the day of.

All that was left was the actual ceremony. I kept panicking about it. I'd just finishing panicking, in fact. We were in the backyard now.

"What is scaring you specifically?" Michael asked. He'd tried asking that before today but I hadn't known then. Now, though, I knew all too well what it was.

I looked into his beautiful golden eyes, and I told him.

"It's standing up in front of fifty people all watching every move we make."

He understood.

"Well that's easy to fix. Just keep your full attention on me not them."

I'd already told myself that. It didn't seem to stop the panic any. So I told him that. He mused it over for a minute, and then admitted this was a toughie.

"I think, though, honey, you're psyching yourself over something that may be nothing when the time comes."

I sighed. "You must think I don't want to marry you. Here you are, calm and poised while I'm freaking out."

"Quite the contrary, my beloved, I'm extremely anxious about it. I remain calm only because I know how to control it within myself. I mean, this is a  _huge_ thing we're doing only two months into our relationship and it never happened in the vision and I'm scared all to hell that it's going to backfire on us."

Oh god. I hadn't even thought of that.

Another panic attack struck.

Michael held me close, frantically shushing me since his calming powers weren't working fast enough.

Then he tried another tactic.

"Okay, baby, look at me. Look." He held my face. "I love you, right, more than anything in the universe. My entire soul, and my entire heart, everything I have belongs to you. You love me more than anything in the universe. Your entire soul, and your entire heart, everything you have belongs to me. Fate has paired us, has deemed us as meant to be. We perfect the other. We are the other's missing half. We fit together like absolutely perfect puzzle pieces. Together we are pure light in a dark world. We balance each other. And look at us. We knew the end and we still leapt into this knowing it'd be a hard, painful crash. We let ourselves love with everything we got and then some just to know what it's like to love as soulmates. Our souls have been searching for exactly this moment in time for a very, very long time. So. I gotta believe that this is okay to do in the grand scheme of things. Every time I worry that we won't make it because it didn't happen in the vision, I remind myself that nothing we've done thus far was done in the vision. I think it's more of a suggestion, not a step-by-step. I remind myself that I've led a perfectly, completely, totally blissful life since letting myself fall truly, madly, deeply in love with you."

I had completely calmed by the end of his speech, and realized he was completely right. This was scary as hell, but our entire relationship was one helluva scary ride anyways. We kept pushing through our fear for those moments of pure bliss, and we kept achieving them be _cause_  we didn't let fear get the best of us.

So this was just another moment fear was trying to get us. We simply had to push through. I knew we could, and now I knew that we  _would_ , because we had in the past.

"Okay?" Michael asked after a few minutes of sensing my increasing calm, searching my gaze for further proof that I was, indeed, okay.

I sighed.

"I don't think I've said it enough: I love you so very, very, no-words-to-describe-how-much. You are so absolutely perfect."

Michael smiled at that, moved his hands to my waist and pulled me in. Then he linked his hands at the small of my back.

"I love you exactly the same and then some." He kissed me then. It took my brain a few seconds to see how he'd cleverly worded that so it was "I love you more" without it sounding like that.

I pulled back.

"Hey!"

He giggled, pressed a kiss to my lips, and rushed off; yelling he finally won that argument. I ran after him, yelling that he had totally not won that, not by a long shot. When I caught up to him, he was waiting for me in his bedroom, the look on his face telling me he wanted me to make passionate love to him. Given that it was Friday, I held no reservations about obliging that very desire. It seemed we were doing this more often the closer we got to our wedding date. I wondered what it'd be like afterwards, but those thoughts flew right out of my head the moment his hand wrapped around me.

The silence afterwards was peaceful as always. He had his head rested against my chest (something he'd been doing more lately), and I loved holding him. I tried to think of what to talk about but nothing came to mind. Oddly enough, I felt entirely okay with that. Michael seemed comfortable with it too, so for the first time, we laid in complete silence, quietly cherishing every second we passed like this.

Then Michael spoke.

"Kyler, if I hadn't asked you to marry me during that Bon Jovi concert, if I had asked any other time, would you have said yes?" His nervousness showed in the way he doodled invisible designs on my chest. His sudden vulnerability both broke my heart, and made him seem so much more amazing to me and I couldn't believe that such a thing was actually possible at this stage.

"Michael," I murmured, stroking his hair. He got up on one elbow and met my gaze.

"I'm serious."

I scoffed softly.

"I've done a piss poor job, then, of showing you how deep my love runs if you honestly think where you asked me would've influenced my answer. Honey, I knew I loved you before I even met you when that vision hit. I knew I loved you with everything I had. I knew it was a love I'd not get with anyone else. Do you understand? I was madly in love with you for  _days_ before you showed up on that beach. I was ready to marry you the moment I saw in that vision and felt what it is to be loved by you. You are the single purest thing I've ever experienced in my life. That vision didn't do you justice by a long shot. So imagine how completely ready I was to marry you after experiencing your endless love and devotion in reality. So, my answer is yes, I would have said yes no matter where the hell you asked me, or how you asked me. I was completely yours the minute that vision hit."

Michael looked absolutely floored, which was how I often felt around him. I felt amazing having moved him so much.

He laid his hand on my cheek and rubbed his thumb across my bottom lip.

"Thank you," he whispered before he kissed me and we went into another round of love making. It was slower, more romantic, each touch more deliberately placed to draw out little sighs and moans and we truly became one.

My wedding nerves never returned after that, not really. I just knew this was exactly the path we were supposed to be walking. We were doing it perfectly, because together we  _were_  perfect. 


	15. Chapter 15

_November ninth:_

_ The Wedding _

Oh, god, this was it. I wasn't nervous. I was beyond excited. Too excited, actually; I was fucking impatient. We had roughly an hour and a half before show time. We hadn't done that stupid spending-the-night-before-apart. In fact, the night before we'd spent practically glued to each other. My mom had thought it was adorable until he and I went upstairs shortly after dinner and never came back down. Then she was just, as usual, grossed out for which I held absolutely no guilt given all the times I'd been grossed out by her and dad (far too many damn times). Family had tried to separate us today so the next time we saw each other was at the altar dressed up, but when the  _both_ of us started bitching and moaning, our families backed down. We had gone upstairs to dress. I had finished first based on how his door was still closed, so I thought I'd wait in the hallway for him. When he finally emerged the breath left me. He hadn't noticed me when initially coming out of his room but then my feelings hit his sensors, he looked up and froze, looking at me the same way I felt about him.

We'd never actually seen each other in our outfits before.

We stood staring at each other for quite a bit; he was the first to unfreeze. As he reached me, he knew words were not needed and went straight for the kiss. When a bunch of flashes started going off, I pulled back and saw he'd noticed them, too. It was then that it dawned on us that we were standing at the top of the stairs, in clear view of anyone at the bottom of them. Upon looking, a bunch of our family members were pooled at the bottom, watching us with wide smiles on their faces. I looked back at my beloved.

"That's not freaky at all," I commented.

He laughed and pulled me back in for another kiss. More flashes occurred totally ignored them this time. At the end of it, Michael spoke.

"We forgot a detail."

My heart leapt into my throat. We'd forgotten something?! Was there enough time to fix that?!

He smiled then, which I absolutely was clueless as to why.

"How do you want to walk down the aisle?" He asked then.

Realizing the detail was far less of a problem than I had worried, I breathed a sigh of relief, and said:

"I wasn't aware we could choose."

Right then he linked his hands at the small of my back (people were still taking photos as we talked).

"I was just thinking about how in," he checked his watch, "less than an hour we have to part for a few minutes to walk separately down the aisle and then I got to thinking: this is  _our_ wedding. I don't want to part from you for a second, so why can't we walk down the aisle together?"

Ooooh, I  _loved_ that idea...until I remembered my parents.

"We can't," I said sorrowfully.

"But why?"

"My parents wanted to walk me down the aisle."

Michael thought for a moment, then turned towards the throng of people at the bottom of the stairs and called for my parents to come up. When they reached us, Michael told them about his idea. Almost immediately they came up with a solution:

"We'll walk on either side of you," dad said simply. "There's more than enough room. I'll be on Kyler's side and, honey," he looked at his wife, "you mind being on Michael's?"

"Not in the least bit." She smiled at Michael who gave her a hug. She and Michael had formed a pretty unique mother-son bond since he'd been living with us. I could tell this arrangement was perfect for them.

Michael looked at me, very, very happy.

"See? Easy."

Stunned at how magnificently his brain worked, I hooked a hand on the back of his neck to pull him to me and kiss him with as much passion as I could muster in the moment. At the end of it, pulling apart, he swayed a bit as if he was slightly drunk.

"I guess you love that plan," he said then.

Chuckles sounded around us.

Now all that was left to do was wait.

When the time came for us to walk down the aisle and we had approached the beginning of it, Michael took my hand, weaving his fingers with mine. Since Michael was on my right, my dad was to my left, and there he offered me his right arm. I hooked my left arm with his, saw Michael do a similar thing with my mom. I gazed out at the fifty or so people gazing at us and took a deep breath. I was suddenly nervous again.

"You okay?" Michael asked. I met his gaze, and saw right then what he'd meant last month about how if I merely looked at him, the rest should fade away. There was something about how his eyes glittered with utter adoration, like he was a blind man seeing the sun for the first time that made me realize the only part that mattered about this ceremony was him. The rest were insignificant details. My body relaxed.

"I am now," I told him.

He smiled.

Our song started up, and that was our cue. We walked slowly so people could get good pictures of us. It was kind of awkward because I didn't want to meet anyone's gaze but I also didn't want to seem like a zombie in the photos just staring straight ahead so I just kind of looked everywhere. After an eon, it seemed, we reached the altar. Here mom kissed Michael's cheek, dad kissed mine, and then they let go. Michael and took one last step towards the altar, facing my father who had taken his spot before us. My mother stood off to the side near Michael, and so the ceremony began; Michael and I faced each other, holding each other's hands. As dad began to speak, I suddenly realized Savage Garden's "Truly Madly Deeply" was playing quietly from a stereo behind him. I stared at Michael, knowing that had been his doing.

He smiled as he saw me realize it. Tears threatened as I dwelled upon just how beyond amazing the guy standing before me was, upon how he was entirely mine, about how he loved  _me_ out of all the people he could've ended up with. I saw then the unshed tears in Michael's eyes which powered mine further and with a blink a couple dislodged, travelling down one of my cheeks. Michael released one of my hands to wipe the moisture away. The crowd quietly aww'd. A couple people had tears in their eyes. I saw that my mom was freely crying. Dad was struggling to keep it together as he began to speak. Michael was on the brink himself, and I knew we'd both start sobbing if I didn't look anywhere else so I took a moment to look at the ground as Michael retook the hand he'd let go. I took a couple calming breaths and looked back up at him. He hadn't taken his eyes off me for one second. My heart was struggling to find its rhythm and I briefly wondered if we were gonna be able to get through this.

Right then dad got to the vows. Michael and I had already decided to write our own, and I went first because I knew when he went I was going to be crying far too much to be able to speak afterwards. When I looked into his eyes, I abruptly lost all memory of what I was going to say.

"I just lost what I had memorized," I told him, starting to panic. He calmed me.

"Just speak from the heart sweetheart," Michael replied. "It's all in there."

He was right. I just had to calm down. Okay. A couple deep breaths, an apology sent to our waiting guests, all of who smiled with understanding, some more breaths. Michael decided to help.

"Honey, look at me."

I met his gaze.

"Pretend we're alone." Promptly everyone sort of faded, and I envisioned it being just us on the beach during sunset. "Now, tell me what you're feeling."

It immediately started flowing.

"Michael, you are the most mesmerizing, amazing, wonderful guy I've ever met. I had always dreamed of finding a love like this but I never believed it could actually happen. You alone take my dark world and with a single smile brighten it up like nothing I've ever experienced before. You are the reason I kept going. You are my happy ending. You are everything I've ever wanted and even that's an understatement. I swore I'd love you for whatever time we have left and I meant it. Every single second of my life is utterly devoted to making yours as happy as possible. I love you so much. I vow your heart and soul will be completely safe with me. I'm beyond blessed; thank you so much for loving me."

As I'd spoken, tears had welled in his eyes and as I came back to reality they rolled down his cheeks.

"See?" He said softly.

I smiled as my heart let out a sigh of relief. That'd been a lot less difficult than my brain had made it seem.

"Michael, your turn," dad said after a minute when Michael didn't speak, when he just continued to stare at me and silently cry.

"Give me a moment."

The audience chuckled. More people were crying now. It was taking everything I had not to completely let go.

I laid my hands on his cheeks and used my thumbs to wipe the tears away. I hadn't realized I could move him so strongly, and then realized I  _should've_  known. He took some steadying breaths, then turned his head into my right palm, rested his hand against it, and pressed a kiss to it.

"Okay," he said. He retook my hands as I moved them away from his face. Then he met my gaze, and gave me a taste of my own medicine.

"Kyler." He sighed. "I don't think a lifetime of telling you how make me feel will be adequate to getting just  _how_ strongly you make me feel. I had always suspected the heart could love with everything it's got tripled endlessly but it wasn't until I met you that I knew  _my_ heart had that ability. I didn't know what true love really meant until I fell for you. I didn't know how it felt to be loved as much as you love me. You are my strength; you are my heart. You are my soul. You are my reason for living and you are my reason to smile. You remind me that I'm worth something. You remind me that I'm human. You give me the courage to face anything. You make me feel invincible. You're so much more than I'd ever dreamed you'd be. As long as we both shall live, Kyler, I swear with everything I've got that I'll love you endlessly with every breath I take, with every beat of my heart. I am completely, devotedly, faithfully yours."

As he finished, as I was overcome with tears, dad had us put on the rings, which took us a bit because the both of us were having trouble seeing clearly, and then uttered the words I'd been dying for him to say:

"I pronounce you husband, and, well, husband. You may now kiss."

The audience let out a loud roaring cheer as I grabbed Michael's face and kissed him. Applause started up, then some whistling. I heard dad mutter to his wife about how intense that'd been, and then sniffled. She'd chuckled softly, told him he did very well. I imagined she wiped his tears off of his face.

Michael and I parted then, and he smiled.

"We did it."

I sniffled, wiped the moisture from my cheeks. It dawned on me that we were missing one spectacular sunset, so instead of walking down the aisle with him and back to the house, I took his hand and led him around the altar to the beach, stopping where the water would wash over our feet. It was then he came up behind me, wrapped his arms around my waist. I heard some commotion behind us and turned my head to look. Our guests had pooled behind us, everyone watching the sunset, too. I looked at Michael, shared a smile with him, another kiss, and then we watched the sunset. As we did so, Michael started softly singing along with Savage Garden's "Truly Madly Deeply" as it continued playing. He had a beautiful singing voice and it triggered more tears for me, yet I'd never been in a happier moment in my life. The magic of our love combined with the magic of the ocean and the sunset had me feeling so truly blessed. I let the tears roll down my cheeks silently.

Michael's breathing hitched suddenly, and I saw then that the moment had shattered the last of his control. I decided to join him with singing the song which took him entirely by surprise. More tears ran down his cheeks as he tightened his hold on me and pushed through his voice breaking, determined to keep singing.

It was perfect timing, probably something fate had a little hand in, because as the sun dipped below the horizon for the night, the song ended, and when the song ended our audience began to applause, having listened to us singing to each other.

We kissed. It was utterly magical.

"Ready?" Michael murmured.

"Let's go," I agreed. We wiped each other's cheeks again and finally started on our way home, our guests following.

At the reception we let our guests dance for a bit to give us time to just collect ourselves and get something to eat. As we finished, the dance floor cleared and in the middle of a kiss I heard someone announce it was time for the married couple to dance their first dance. Michael and I pulled apart and I just  _knew_ I was going to cry again, because I remembered how we'd danced on the night he asked me to marry him. It was far more profound a moment now.

"Come on, love, you'll be okay," Michael said as he led the way. When we were centered on the dance floor, our song started up, and we came together. People started snapping pictures, and as I expected, tears started up again because Michael started singing  _this_ too. We spent the entire song with him holding me, his head against mine softly singing the lyrics that meant everything as I basically cried into his neck. We shared a kiss at one point during, my lips trembling badly on his (he didn't care), then not again until the song ended. The song repeated and this time our guests joined us.

I let out a heavy sigh as the tears started to ebb and met Michael's affection-laced golden brown eyes. I wanted to speak, but words failed me.

"Exactly," Michael murmured then, resting his forehead against mine. It was then I noticed the moisture on his cheeks and marveled all over again how this wonder of a guy loved me exactly as much as I loved him. We kissed often this time around which helped with dealing with having to dance with other people after this song ended.

Around nine or so we decided to bring out the cake. We did the traditional cutting the first slice together, and then feeding each other a bit of it. Wanting to make him laugh, I put some frosting of the piece on my finger and then quickly dabbed it on his nose.

"Hey!" He exclaimed as I guffawed. Then I ran off. "Oh, no! Get your ass back here!" He chased me around the yard, our guests laughing and enjoying it as much as we were. He did eventually catch me from behind and attempted to wipe the tip of his nose off on my cheek. As everyone laughed, he murmured his love in my ear and we shared another kiss. We headed back to the cake to help hand out pieces to everyone. Once everyone had a piece, we took ours to our table and fed each other our slices (using forks this time). Someone pointed out what we were doing and the whole room awww'd.

"They're so easily swayed," I commented with amusement after swallowing my bite.

"Now's the time to brain wash them into thinking we're their supreme overlords," Michael said then.

I burst out laughing and gave him a playful shove. He had the biggest smile on his face which just made me want to kiss him again, so I did.

After cake we danced together again and managed to dance for two hours straight. Most of it was slow dancing, so, ya know.

Around midnight, coffee began to make its rounds to everyone. This is when everyone decided to toast us. Most of it had us laughing, but when my parents spoke with tears in their eyes, both Michael and I teared up at their endless love and support for us. When they finished, I got up and went over to hug them and thank them for being so amazing during all of this. At one, people started looking like they were going to pass out, I was one of them, and so we decided to bring things to a close. That's when our family gave us the biggest wedding present.

It started with dad standing up, and whistling loudly enough for the room to go silent. Michael and I, energy spent but not wanting to be rude so we were cuddling and attempting to stay awake, both looked in his direction.

"Michael, Kyler," he said then, "we love you both very much, and given the special circumstances, we decided it wasn't fair that you not get a honeymoon," I sat up straight, trying to keep my excitement at a minimum; Michael was definitely interested, too, "so we all came together and brainstormed some ideas. We've decided to pool together some money to send you to Ireland."

I let out a gasp. "No way!"

Michael was shocked into silence.

Everyone around us started smiling.

"We knew how badly you wanted to go," my mother spoke up then, "and we knew it'd be even more special if you went with Michael who told us he didn't care where he was just as long as he was with you, so here," she pulled an envelope from her purse and handed it to me, "it's two two-way plane tickets for three weeks in Ireland."

"Oh my god," I breathed as I took it, vision blurring with tears yet again.

I set down the envelope as every little moment and everything I'd felt since we'd started down the aisle had pooled all into this one moment and I just...I finally lost it. I buried my face in my hands as the sobs started. Michael immediately put one arm around me and rubbed one of my arms with his free hand.

"Safe to say he loves it, too," Michael told everyone, "Thank you all, from the bottom of our hearts. This is...wow." He turned his attention to me as I let out a low whine. "Shhh, honey, just breathe. You're okay," he pressed a kiss to my head and I felt the tremble that lay in his lips. I turned my face into his neck, identifying that it was going to take me a bit to stop crying.

"M-Michael," I murmured after taking a few minutes to get a grip...or at least try.

"Yes, my love?"

"Could you ch-check t-t-to see when our fl-flight takes o-off?" I grabbed a tissue from a box nearby and blew my nose. Michael obliged my request.

"Our plane is set to depart at two-fifteen tomorrow afternoon. Oooh, the airport's like ten minutes away. Cool."

Calmer, I looked up into the room.

"Thank you so very much, all of you wonderful, beautiful people."

Michael set down the tickets to stroke my hair. I looked at him and with his free hand he caught a new tear as it started down my left cheek.

"Safe to say this is the best day of our life, huh?"

"It's one of them. I'm sad it has to end."

Michael sympathetically kissed my temple and my parents took that as cue to start helping people to their cars. Michael and I went to stand at our front door to thank each and every guest individually. They all wished us a happy honeymoon and told us it'd been a truly beautiful ceremony. Pretty soon, it was just me, Michael, and my parents. Worn out beyond belief, I leaned against Michael who held me securely by his side with one arm as we all stood watching the last car drive away. We stood in silence for a minute, and then dad spoke.

"I think it's safe to say today was a success."

"Very," I murmured. "Thank you so much for it all."

Michael simultaneously gave me a squeeze and a kiss to my head.

"It was absolutely wonderful, thank you again," he agreed, then asked: "Do you guys want help with clean up?"

"Nah," my dad said.

"Yeah, Kyler's about two seconds from passing out," my mother commented, "and I don't think he'd sleep unless you were there with him."

"I can stay up long enough to help," I told them. "It's more emotional drain than physical."

They shook their heads, saying this was still our night. We reluctantly accepted it, and since the both of us were pretty exhausted, we wished them a good night and headed upstairs. We summoned enough energy to brush our teeth, but as soon as I saw his bed, all I wanted was to be on it sleeping in my new husband's arms. Seconds after we got in, we were asleep. It had indeed been one of the best days I'd ever had. I couldn't wait for us to have more.


	16. Chapter 16

The morning after, I awoke after Michael and discovered that beautiful gaze of his watching me lovingly. His lips turned up when my eyes met his.

"Hello beautiful," he said.

"Morn' gorgeous," I replied.

He ran his hand through my hair. It wasn't tangled which meant I hadn't moved all night.

"How'd you sleep?"

I was overcome with a full body stretch. When I settled back down, I answered him.

"Best I've had. How about you?"

"I was extremely comfortable. I had a wonderful dream, too."

"Oh yeah? What was it?" I started doodling invisible designs on his bare chest with my finger. I wished I could've remembered any dreams I might've dreamt last night.

"We were hiking in Ireland, and we came across this beautiful sunlit meadow in full bloom, so it must've been summer there. You were awestruck by it, and as you stepped into the light, you closed your eyes and held your face up to it, the happiest I'd ever seen you. Then you reached for me and we started slow dancing in the middle of this meadow. As we danced, woodland creatures started joining us. You were absolutely ecstatic to share this moment with nature. I just watched you, falling more madly in love with each passing second. It..." he sighed happily. "It was just amazing."

"It sounds it." It was accurate for how I'd react in that situation, too. It occurred to me, absolutely randomly, that I had no idea what time it was. The clock was on my side of the bed, so I rolled away from him for a second to check. To my surprise it was only eight-forty-five in the morning.

"I could've told you, my sweet," Michael commented as he accepted me back into his arms.

"Sorry."

He kissed my forehead. As he pulled away there was a knock on the bedroom door. Since we were already beneath the covers, we chorused at the guest to come in. It was dad.

"Hey there lovebirds, I just wanted to see if you were up. I figured you guys would want some extra time to get ready so you're not rushing around." His eyes suddenly went wide. "Did I interrupt...?"

We smiled.

"No, dad," I answered, "we were just cuddling. I think I speak for both of us when I say thank you for thinking of us. We'll be along shortly."

"Alrighty. Your mom's cookin' blueberry waffles."

"Ooh!" Michael chirped. He  _loved_  her blueberry waffles.

"We may be down in a few seconds," I teased, gazing lovingly at Michael.

"You're one to talk," he teased back. "Change blueberry waffles to chocolate chip pancakes and you'd be down even faster."

I slanted my eyes at him. Dad chuckled and left us to our moment.

"You think that's fast. You practically teleport whenever she makes her fried chicken."

"Who  _doesn't_ love fried chicken??" Michael retorted.

I immediately saw my opening.

"I dunno, but I know I love you more each day."

"Aw, Kyler!" He rolled over onto me, planted a kiss on my lips, and of course murmured his love for me, too.

Shortly after that we were showered, dressed, and downstairs eating delicious blueberry waffles. After that it was back upstairs to pack. I had gotten my suitcase out and one drawer of my dresser opened before I realized I had no idea what the weather was going to be like. I headed into Michael's room to tell him only to discover him at his desk, laptop open.

"Hi, honey," he greeted as I headed over to him. I wasn't shocked that the same thought had occurred to him. He was not stupid by any means. When I reached him I was just going to stand behind him with my arms rested on his shoulders and look over his shoulder at the screen, but when I was near enough, he scooted back a little and patted his leg without looking away from the laptop screen. It wasn't the first time we'd sat like that so I held no reservations about getting on his lap. His left arm wrapped securely around my waist.

"So what's the weather going to be like?" I asked him.

"Apparently Ireland has really mild weather, so I don't think we'll need heavy clothing. I do think we should pack a jacket and some sweatshirts just in case."

"Makes sense."

He closed the laptop, and looked at me, amused, when I didn't immediately get up.

"I don't wanna," I told him.

"I don't want you to, either, but our suitcases won't pack themselves." He gave me a squeeze. "And just think we spend a few minutes apart preparing for the trip we'll be able to spend three weeks completely inseparable."

He had a point.

"Okay, I'll go. But I want a kiss."

He gave me one, and then gave my ass a pat as I dutifully stood up afterwards.

"That doesn't help," I said in a low whine.

He chuckled and looked insanely sexy just sitting there staring at me with golden pools of affection. "The faster you pack the faster you get back to me."

I practically ran out of there, his laughter chasing after me.

When I got back to my room, I knew my tendency to forget the most important things was going to strike, so I sat down and made a list of everything I'd need for our trip. Then I proceeded to pack it all carefully, double and triple checking to make sure I really had it all. As I finished and zipped up my carry on (suitcase was all good to go), I felt arms wrap around my waist and lips at my ear whispering:

"Pretty soon we'll be in Ireland together."

My heart stuttered.

"It's not getting here fast enough."

"Mm," Michael nuzzled my neck, "the journey is part of the fun."

I reached back and put my hand against his head. Seconds later I tilted my head back and he made his way from my neck to my lips. Not wanting to stay in this position, I maneuvered so that I was facing him. We came together, love transitioned into soaring passion. We entirely forgot about the world and things we needed to do to get ready for Ireland...until my mom walked in. Though she loved the romance between Michael and me, she firmly reminded us that there'd be plenty of time for it in Ireland  _after_ we got there in one piece. It was hard to let go for even a little bit, though. Michael understood perfectly and gave me a soft kiss as my mom walked out of the room.

"We'll make up for it," he promised. "Come on. Let's get our stuff downstairs."

Too soon it was time to go. I was anxious as hell. The last time I went through an airport and rode a plane I was about four years old. It was when we'd moved here to Hawaii. Anyways, my parents went through a checklist to make sure we had everything we needed: passports (check), plane tickets (check), money (check), main luggage (check), carry-on bags (check). It was then they grabbed us both in a massive hug and wished us safe travels.

On the way to the airport, Michael (who was driving) noticed I was awfully quiet.

"We don't have to go, honey," he said, reaching over and taking my hand. He returned his gaze to the road before us.

"I want to go. That's not the problem."

"What is the problem?"

"Last time I was in an airport and on a plane I was four."

Michael knew what that meant for me. He gave my hand a squeeze.

"Don't worry. My parents moved around a lot so I know how to navigate those airports. I'll be right beside you every step of the way, okay? I won't let go of your hand. Except through security but I think you'll be fine for that." As an added measure, he sent some calm into me. When the road was straight and clear, he leaned over and gave me a quick kiss. I felt a little better.

Getting to the airport, I experienced that it wasn't so bad, but maybe that was because I had Michael guiding. It all went smoothly and soon we were on the plane waiting for takeoff. One of our seats was a window seat, and given my social anxiety Michael let me have that one. I had to make sure he was totally okay with it, though, and he assured me that he didn't care where he sat as long as I was by his side. I felt better after that.

Takeoff spooked the hell out of me, and it'd taken me a bit to calm down, but about half an hour into the fourteen-hour flight I started to relax. It was then Michael got out the playing cards we had brought with us to alleviate our boredom. When that got boring, we cuddled and stared out the window. Then my bladder needed to be relieved and so Michael helped me with that (I mean he showed me where the bathrooms were and how they worked on the plane). We played cards again. We watched a movie. We cuddled. At some point I fell asleep against him and I think he fell asleep against me because the next thing I knew, it was daylight again, and a glance at my watch told me it was nine in the morning. My stomach rumbled so Michael grabbed the bag of snacks he'd packed in his carry-on. It wasn't long (time really did fly when you were having fun and I always had fun with Michael no matter what we were doing) before we landed in Ireland at two-fifty in the afternoon (Ireland time), got our bags, found our rental, and were on our way to our vacation home. One of Michael's family members rented it out every year for the summer, and gave it to us to use for our honeymoon. It was on a lake and completely secluded. Apparently groceries would be delivered every week for the three weeks we'd be there, so we could save money to spend on tourist-things.

Driving in Ireland (which Michael did because my anxiety triggered my overthinking and I'd likely crash) was very different. They drove on the left, passed on the right, and the steering wheel was on the right side of the car instead of the left. Still, as we drove out of the city and started seeing the countryside, I got out my phone to take pictures. It was absolutely beautiful here, just as I'd known it'd be. Michael caught me taking a selfie of us, laughed, and I managed to capture that, too. It dawned on me that we'd made it. We were in Ireland for our honeymoon. Feeling that, Michael took my hand and gave it a kiss.

At the vacation spot, which was a two story modern building with glass gazebo that opened directly to the lake's shore, Michael unlocked the door and then scooped me up in his arms, triggering my laughter as I put my arms around his neck. He carried me across the threshold and set me down. I practically attacked him with a fierce kiss, and suddenly all I wanted was to make love to him until we passed out. It would appear Michael felt the same because he pulled away from me, grabbed my hand, and led me down a hall to a bedroom that had a very bright white canopy bed in the middle of it. At the four corners of the frame rested billowy white drapes, but that was as much as I noticed before Michael had me on the bed with him on top. From there on the only thing I was concerned about was him.

We lasted about an hour and a half before jet lag got the better of us and we passed out. I didn't wake again until four-thirty in the morning, and it was only because I smelled food cooking which my stomach screeched at me that it wanted. I shuffled out of bed, rubbing my eyes, trying to wake up fully, and made my way over to my suitcase only to discover it was missing.

"Mike!" I yelled.

He was upstairs in seconds.

"What's wrong?!"

He was wearing nothing but a fresh pair of boxers and I suddenly understood where my clothes had gone.

"Oh," I said. When I met his gaze, he was looking amused, also understanding what my problem had been.

"The note's over on the dresser, my darling," he touched his hand to my cheek, then excused himself because he had food cooking that he didn't want to burn, and headed back downstairs. I went over to the dresser and indeed there was a note on it. It read:

_Good morning beautiful,_

_I woke up around three in the morning and couldn't go back to sleep. You were still passed out cold (you're so adorable when you're passed out), so I decided I'd start to get things a little unpacked. I'm sorry if you freak out before finding this note, I didn't know where else to put it. If you wake and I'm not there, I'm most likely downstairs somewhere. I love you more than anything. Xoxo._

_P.S. My clothes are on the right, yours on the left._

Smiling from the note, I set it aside and proceeded to open the top drawer. Sure enough on the left side were the briefs I usually wore. I grabbed a pair, slid them on, put on a pair of sweat pants, closed the drawer, and headed downstairs to see what my beloved was cooking. Upon reaching the kitchen, I saw it was pancakes.

Chocolate chip pancakes.

Heart swelling, I went over to him and gave him a hug from behind. He smiled as I nuzzled his neck.

"One day I'm making you blueberry waffles," I murmured in his ear. He turned his head towards me and kissed me.

"You're very welcome, hon," he replied. Another kiss and then I started getting out plates and utensils for us. Checking the fridge I saw that we had whole milk, orange juice, creamer, some sodas, and a twenty-four pack of water. I looked along the counter by the stove and discovered the coffee machine, exactly like the one we used at home.

"Want some coffee?" I asked him.

"Please," he replied, sliding another pancake from the pan onto the stack on a plate to his right.

"Any idea if we're supposed to use bottled water instead of tap?"

"I...actually don't know. Use the bottled water for today. We're ten hours ahead of Hawaii so right now it's about," he checked his watch and did the math, "six-fifty in the evening there. I guess we could call now. The phone is by the front door, I think it's set up for international calling."

"Hon, I didn't know how to navigate an airport, what makes you think I know how to make an international call?"

Michael chuckled at that, slid the last pancake off the pan, moved the pan to a cool burner, turned off the burner he'd been using, and walked over to me.

"I shall teach you," he said, grasping my hand as he passed.

So it turned out, to make a call to U.S. from Ireland, we needed to dial 00 which was Europe's international access code, then dial 1 which was the country code for the U.S., then dial the phone number we wanted, including the area code. Since it was his family that we were calling, he held the receiver to his ear. Shortly enough he was talking to his uncle I think it was (his uncle was the one that owned this place; it made sense we'd call him), and seconds after that Michael put it on speakerphone and said they'd wanted to hear my voice.

"Oh. Hi," I said awkwardly. I wasn't used to speaking with the speakerphone on. Michael, of course, found this adorable, and slid an arm around my waist, giving me an affectionate squeeze as his uncle and his uncle's family all said hello to me.

"So did you boys just get in?" the voice on the other end—definitely his uncle—asked. The clarity was astounding.

"We got in on the 11th around two-fifty PM," I answered. I tried to figure out when that had been their time but it hurt my brain. It was okay though; Rorey knew the time difference. It was now the 12th of November for us, but I think it was still the 11th for them. Ay, time zones were confusing.

"And you're just calling  _now_? My God, guys, what in hell's name have you been  _doing_?"

"Uncle Rorey," Michael said, his tone saying it all.

Laughter sounded from the other end. I couldn't help smiling.

"Oh, alright, alright, I'll stop bustin' your chops. I figured jet lag would hit you sooner or later. How do you boys like the place?"

"It's really beautiful," I commented.

"Truly is. Thank you so much for letting us use it."

"No problem, kids. You should know it's beautiful  _outside_ it, too." His hint was not so subtle, but I also had no idea if he had even been going for subtle.

Michael sighed.

"Yes, Uncle Rorey, we will spend time outside the house as well. In fact I was thinking of doing a little sight-seeing later today." He looked at me as he spoke, asking with his eyes if I was okay with that.

"Sounds like fun," I replied.

"Great idea!" His uncle practically purred. "There's this adorable little village about a mile out. You could walk it, that area is safe."

"We'll do that!" I said, Michael agreeing.

"Are we the first ones you've called?" his uncle asked then.

That reminded Michael of the question he'd originally wanted to ask.

"Yes, and actually we did call for a reason. We were about to make some coffee, and we weren't sure if we could use the tap water or not."

"You can if it's from the kitchen. Do not under any circumstances use the tap from the bathroom. If you're still nervous, you can use the water from the fridge and I'll just increase how often they deliver it."

Michael and I deliberated for a moment, and then decided using the tap would be fine for coffee, since it got hot anyway and such.

"Alrighty, kiddos, sounds good. If you're running low on anything before Wednesday's delivery next week," it was currently Thursday today, "you can either call me and I'll request a delivery, or you can head on down to the grocery that's about five miles down the road. You should have passed it coming in."

Michael remembered seeing it, but as I'd been looking the other way I had missed it.

"I'm going to let you go now. Kyler, I think it'd be a really good idea to call your parents. They're probably worried sick since I forgot to give them the number to that place during the wedding and haven't had a lick of free time to give it to them since."

"That's a good idea, thanks."

"Alright, Uncle Rorey, and the rest of you, have a good one."

"You too, boys. Be safe!" With a click they were gone.

"Be safe," Michael muttered with a sigh. "We're not idiots."

I laughed.

"To be fair, I think they say that for those moments when we get a bit caught up and our brains don't automatically think of being protected. I'm sure they've all been there."

Michael made a face.

"Now I can't get that image out of my head."

"Aw, I'm sorry!" I hugged him and with some teasing he eventually forgave me.

He let me dial the number for my parents who, as uncle Rorey had suspected, had been very worried.

"Kyler??" my mom exclaimed. I heard dad clamoring in the background and soon enough he was speaking clearly (speakerphone).

"Kyler! Thank God. You were supposed to call when you landed! We were worried sick!"

"I'm sorry," I said automatically, feeling guilty for the first time since getting here.

"No, honey, don't be," Michael intervened, then took over, "guys, I love you dearly, and I know this was a scary thing to do, but we arrived when it was four in the morning for you guys, and then jet lag hit us hard shortly after we entered the house. We  _barely_ made it to the bed, and immediately passed right out. We're human. There's no need to go make us feel guilty about that which we couldn't control." I heard the unspoken words:

_It is not okay to make your only son feel like shit on the first full day of his damn honeymoon._

I wondered if my parents had heard them, too.

Silence greeted us on the other end and I worried they were now mad at us for standing up for ourselves. Usually my parents were supportive, but I could understand that this was something entirely new; it was easy to freak out. Sensing my distress, Michael rubbed my back and murmured at me that it'll be okay.

Then dad spoke.

"You're right, Michael. We're sorry to the both of you for the attack. Of course jet lag hit you; that was a fourteen hour flight to a place ten hours ahead of our time."

I still felt guilty and Michael felt it, but neither of us commented on it. We merely said they were forgiven. We chatted for a few more minutes and then Michael said our food was getting cold (though we both knew it was completely cold by now) and a few seconds later he hung up the phone. Seconds after  _that_ he had me wrapped entirely in his arms. He smelled so good (I guess he'd showered or something), so I focused on that instead of beating myself up for, as Michael had said, something that'd been beyond my control. After a few moments my stomach reminded me there was a slightly more pressing matter than my feelings, and with it Michael and I went back to the kitchen to eat.

The pancakes were delicious despite being cold.


	17. Chapter 17

After breakfast, I showered and dressed while Michael simply changed into some clothes. We cleaned up the kitchen together, and then realized it was only about six in the morning. It was too early to take a walk, so to pass the time we decided to cuddle and watch some T.V. That's when we discovered the Xbox and all the neat games. By nine in the morning or so, with the sun shining bright, we decided we could go. We made sure we had some money on us and our camera, and then set out (after we locked the house) to walk to the tourist place that was, according to his uncle, a mile away. We walked holding hands whenever we weren't busy taking pictures. It was a digital camera with a six gigabyte memory card in it so that meant a lot of pictures. As an added measure, Michael had brought along his laptop for this trip so we could transfer the pictures to it and thus free up space on the camera. The way this place was absolutely beautiful, I knew we'd probably end up with thousands of pictures.

Halfway there, Michael suddenly spun me towards him, caught my face in his hands, and planted a hefty kiss on my lips. It was one of those kisses that wiped my thoughts completely clean so we ended up standing there for a long time kissing each other. At the end of it, I breathlessly asked him what that was for.

"To remind you that you deserve to be happy," he replied.

I was confused for a moment because I had been happy before the kiss, but then it dawned on me. He was talking about how my parents had made me feel; he knew that despite knowing I was not in the wrong, I'd still feel guilty for a long time afterwards. I was fascinating at the fact that he remained entirely focused upon me and how I was feeling despite everything new around us worthy of our attention.

"You're so amazing," I told him, which was also my way of saying he deserved to be happy too, as I kissed him again. My heart became torn in two as the kiss turned tender and passion started to climb. One half of my heart wanted desperately to turn back just so we could spend the day doing nothing but make love, and the other half wanted to go sight-seeing with him as couples do. As the kiss came to an end, I still hadn't been able to decide, and as Michael's lips left mine, he put his hand to my cheek, looking deep into my soul as his gaze locked with mine.

"I want it, too," he said softly.

My body yearned for him so intensely simply from him speaking.

"How do we decide?"

"Well. My body  _really_ wants to go back. My mind, however, keeps reminding me that we have months to make love back at home, but only three weeks to enjoy what Ireland has to offer."

I understood.

"So, we should table this for now, do some sight-seeing, and then maybe see about how we feel upon getting back home."

"Exactly," Michael slid his hand from my face and down my arm, interlacing his fingers with mine. Of course, his deliberate touch had stirred up my hormones a bit further, and his, too.

"I really want to go back though," he said.

I looked at the path we'd yet to go, trying to gauge how far we'd get after he calmed us before the hormones started up again. I pretty much knew it wouldn't be very long at all. So, I looked back at Michael, into his eyes burning with passion, and said:

"We have three weeks, right? That's seven days a week, which is twenty one days give or take, and roughly nine hours available in each day to go out, so that's, uhm,"

Michael was looking more increasingly turned on as I dug out my phone to finish the math that my average brain couldn't finish.

"That's a hundred and eighty nine hours for us to go sight-seeing." I put my phone away and met his emblazoned eyes. "I think we could spare a couple right now."

"My god, you are the sexiest thing on this planet." Michael grabbed me to him and planted a heated kiss on my lips. Only problem we faced now was making it half a mile back to the house which I then realized was not actually a problem at all because I had super speed. I decided to take a turn carrying Michael across the threshold so I scooped him up into my arms and  _ran_. Within seconds we were in our room, all clothes on the floor, both of us somewhat near the bed, breathing climbing towards panting, succumbing to that which made us so human.

Oh...my... _god_  it was utterly mind-blowing.

"Okay," Michael said when we finished, "I'm completely satisfied now. Should we attempt sight-seeing again?"

I was on top of him, every muscle quivering and spent (and I knew his were the same), and his comment had me half-laughing, half-scoffing.

"Hon, I seriously doubt either of us can even walk right now. I think we wore out every muscle we got."

He ran his hands down my back, then back up, then wrapped his arms around me.

"Mm, so worth it, though," he commented.

I pressed a kiss to his collarbone.

"Very worth it," I agreed, sharing a kiss with him before resting my head against his shoulder. I loved how every inch of me was completely and utterly satisfied. I wanted to lay like this with him forever, and the greatest part was there was nothing to stop us from doing just that (for the rest of the afternoon at least).

We ended up talking for about an hour, shifting our position halfway through. Then, somehow we got in the mood again and spent another hour making love (granted, though, it was far less frantic but just as satisfying).

After  _that_ , well, our bodies had other needs to attend to, one of which was food so when I finished using the bathroom, I put on some deodorant, some cologne, some sweats and headed downstairs to cook. He walked in mere minutes after I started and inquired what I was makin'. When I told him my plan to make my version of grilled cheese sandwiches, (mine had one extra ingredient than the ones I'd grown up on: mustard) he immediately looked interested then utterly pleased when I told him I'd already been planning on making him one, too, which also got me a kiss. The food was ready by noon, eaten and the dishes cleaned up by twelve thirty. It was then we decided to shower (again) and go sight-seeing as we'd originally planned in the first place. This time we actually made it there.

The tourist place was as you expected it to be, but I so happened to love little tourist traps like this. Michael seemed happy with it, too. We went from store to store, took lots of pictures, took lots of selfies, kissed often, laughed even more so, and basically just had a really wonderful time. The locals here were incredible and we listened to many stories about things this area alone had gone through, had gotten several recipes for local dishes to try out as well as recommendations to places to eat out  _and_  other places to visit, sights to see. By the time we ended up leaving it was nearly three in the afternoon.

We dropped our purchases off into our room.

I let out a sigh.

"Well, that was cool," I said happily.

"I love Ireland," Michael commented, taking off his shoes, then his pants. I felt turned on watching him partially undress but didn't necessarily feel the urge to make love with him. I did, however, switch into my lounge shorts and a tank top, suddenly desiring to sit out by the lake and read one of the new books I'd gotten. It was a supernatural thriller written by a local, apparently very interesting according to other locals. Michael had wanted to stay in for a bit and play on the Xbox so we parted after a long kiss. After all, couples needed alone time, too.

About half an hour later, I felt something rush past me and it wasn't until I heard the splash of water that I realized Michael had just run past me and jumped into the lake. I set down my book to watch him, smiling as he immediately raced towards the shore.

"Water's cold, ain't it?" I asked him.

"Fucking freezing," he replied as he dropped into the sunlit chair beside mine after toweling off.

"It's November, love, of course the water's cold," I told him.

He flipped me off but I only laughed.

"I was thinking we might do that later tonight," I commented lightly.

He slanted his  _oh, really_  look at me, and then smiled.

"I'd really like that," he said.

I nodded. "Alright. Sex later tonight it is. Lemme just schedule it in my mental calendar here and..." Michael laughed, "there, all set."

"You're such a goofball," he said, looking radiantly happy as he leaned over to kiss me. "By the way," he said then, "how's that book?"

"It's not bad, honestly. He took a bit to set up and that was kind of boring, but, honestly, it's pretty fascinating afterwards."

"What's it about?"

"Well, there's these two boys, about twenty years old, they're best friends, and they basically fight supernatural entities rising up in their town and solving the mystery as to why all the sudden activity."

"Why does that sound a lot like your favorite TV show?"

"You mean  _Supernatural_?"

"Yeah."

I shrugged. "I dunno. I gotta imagine more than one person can have the same idea, and besides there's several differences. Those guys are brothers, these guys are best friends. Those guys travel the country; these guys don't even leave their town. Those guys have one bitchin' great car; these guys just basically run everywhere cos their town is so small. Plus those guys have demons and angels and ghosts and ghouls and a wide variety of other supernatural creatures. This book just basically has, like, one major demon and whole bunch of poltergeists."

Michael was nodding. "I see now. Oh, that reminds me, I brought all twelve seasons of Supernatural with us."

I gaped at him.

He smiled at my reaction. "I figured in a place that's entirely new it wouldn't hurt to have some familiar items about."

Just when I thought I couldn't  _possibly_  love him any more than I did, I always fell even more madly for him. I left my seat to straddle him, and we spent yet another long moment in time just kissing each other, not needing anything else (besides air to breathe, of course).

That was basically how the rest of our honeymoon went. Once we adjusted to the local time zone, we started getting up around nine or ten every day. Sometimes we'd make love in the morning, sometimes we'd cuddle. Sometimes the shower was the first thing we did. Then we would, clad only in towels wrapped around our waists, check the weather, and dress accordingly. After that we would cook breakfast, taking turns to do so but always working together after we ate to clean up. We would call our families to let them know we were still alive. On warmer, sunny days we'd decide if we wanted to go hiking, sight-seeing swim in the lake, or simply tan by it. On the colder ones we often ended up staying inside and watching Supernatural, or a movie, or playing on the x-box. It wasn't until the second week that we discovered the room with the pool table in it which of course we played and...maybe might've had sex against a time or two...or five. Don't tell his uncle.

When it rained, I think, was one of my most favorite parts of the honeymoon. Because every time it'd start, Michael would drop everything, grab my hand, lead me outside, and kiss me passionately because he knew how much I loved being kissed in the rain. The first time he'd done it, I admit I didn't fight my hormones in the least bit and we...well, no sense in trying to deny it...we flat-out had sex right on the front lawn in the middle of a freaking rain storm (kind of a miracle neither of us got sick). I mean, the place was entirely surrounded so nobody could've seen us, but just the same, it was the only time we'd ever made love like  _that_.

We laughed often, shared smiles often, took so many selfies and pictures, touched often, made love often, and could never kiss enough. The three weeks flew by faster than I had wanted them to, but I wasn't completely sad. I'd gained a whole slew of memories with him, memories that hadn't been a part of the original vision, memories that were  _better_ than the original vision, and by the time we were going into the third week, I was starting to get a bit homesick. There's no place like home, after all.

My parents greeted us (with great big hugs waiting) right at the airport figuring Michael and I had been tired of driving. We took one look at each other when they told us that, and started laughing. They realized just who they were talking to and where we'd just come from and started laughing, too. I mean, Michael and I had driven each a little bit, but mostly it was, well, you know what honeymoons are known for.

It felt wonderful to see familiar sights again, to pass the beach I loved so much and even more so stepping into the house I'd grown up with. I wasted no time in getting our luggage back upstairs. Michael had been a few seconds behind with the carry-on bags. I stopped by my room first, but when I got to his, my memory was suddenly triggered and I saw in clear vivid detail our very first night making love. Michael must've sensed the nostalgia, then seen what I was seeing when he wrapped his arms around me, because suddenly he let out a content sigh.

"We've come a long way since that night," he murmured.

"A very long way," I agreed. There had been some pretty kooky things we'd done in Ireland that I don't think I'd try again. I mean they were  _fun_  but not something I wanted to experience more than once; a special experience if you will. I decided to ask how he felt.

"Would you do it again?" I asked him.

"Hmm? Do what, exactly?"

I kept my gaze on the bed, kind of embarrassed to talk about it now, though it was too late to back out of the discussion so I reminded myself that this was not a guy who held any judgements whatsoever; this was a guy who loved me very dearly and wanted to do whatever it took to keep me happy.

"Remember, in Ireland, those three times when we got a bit kinky during sex?"

"Ahhh," he chuckled. "Yes, I remember." There was some emotion there in his voice but I couldn't quite pinpoint it. It wasn't shame, I knew that much. "So you're asking if I'd like to do that again."

"Yeah."

"Honestly, as fun as it was, no, I wouldn't."

Surprised, I turned around and met his gaze.

"Really!"

He nodded. "That's not who we are. I have sex with you as a means of bonding romantically. I have sex with you because I love you. It just happens to coincide with pleasure. I don't need to get weird to feel good; I just need to be with you."

I put my arms around his neck, kissed him, and we ended up doing the very same thing coming home that we'd done arriving to Ireland: made love then passed out.


	18. Chapter 18

Unlike in Ireland, we slept all the way through until nine in the morning. It was the twenty-sixth of November and currently a Sunday so we had time to acclimate back to life here in Hawaii before having to go back to school and, somehow, catch up.

Upon waking with my head against Michael's chest (which is how I usually woke up) for the briefest of moments I felt a pang of sadness at no longer being in Ireland. Michael stroked my hair then, which informed me that he was also awake and had felt my sadness which didn't seem to be ebbing.

"Morning beautiful," he murmured.

Instead of the usual greeting, I met his lips with mine and told him I loved him. I couldn't explain why I felt so very emotional at the moment, but I did, and he silently tried to soothe it away. We left the bed shortly after; I hoped the shower would help. When it didn't, I hoped having something to eat would. When that didn't work either, we tried Supernatural. That failed just like the rest of it and by then Michael knew that something was seriously wrong. My parents were out working and he didn't want to scare them so he brought out the laptop and tried looking online. Soon enough he had it.

"It's jet lag," he said.

I looked at him from my position on the couch, lying on my side with my head against the arm rest. My legs were curled up near my chest so he'd had room to sit at the other end of the couch.

"Jet lag??" I was incredulous.

He nodded, scrolling down and reading.

"Yup. Apparently depression is triggered sometimes by it if you're susceptible." I'd been struggling with it for a long time, so that made sense. "Usually it's when you're on your way to the new place, but it can happen upon returning home too, obviously. They suggest doing what usually perks your mood up, trying some social time, some alone time, and some hobbies." He closed the laptop, set it on the table, and sat back, resting his left arm on the back of the couch as he moved his torso so it was partially facing me. He looked so sad for me, so in love with me, and so sympathetic all at once.

"We already tried things that usually make me happy," I said miserably.

"We didn't try going to our spot."

That was true.

"I guess it's worth a try."

"Alright, hon." He stood up, and helped me to my feet. We donned our jackets and sandals and headed towards the beach. Upon getting there, I didn't feel the same joy it usually brought me. I decided to give it a few minutes before getting fed up. After those minutes, still feeling the depression have such a stubborn hold on me, I started getting angry. I jumped off the rock and strode back the way we'd come.

"Hey! Honey, wait!" Michael caught up to me and felt the anger. "Ky, come on, talk to me. What is it specifically?"

I stopped and turned to him.

"It's this god damn blackness that shouldn't be there! It's knowing it must be making you feel like shit because despite everything you've done for me, despite all the good times and the laughter and...and...and the love, I still dare to ...to get..." the first sob snuck up on me, and then the others started too fast for me to stop. My vision blurred with the tears and the next thing I could tell, I was on my knees with Michael on his before me holding me against him as I cried for god knows what reason. I think he'd sort of caught me on my way down and then sort of fell to the ground with me. He spoke.

"For the record, Ky, I don't feel like shit because your depression has reared its ugly head. I don't love you any less because you're crying now after months of being happy. You've led a long childhood battling this monster entirely on your own. It wasn't going to go away because you had an amazing relationship. I know full well that you still love me as much as you had yesterday when you were in a good mood. It's okay, Kyler." He suddenly took my face and made me look at him. "You hear me? It's okay. You're okay. It's just a bad day, baby. It's okay."

That made me cry harder, but they were exactly the words I needed. We maneuvered into a sitting position, me sitting his lap with my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck crying into it, while he held me close to him and started softly singing our song as he rocked me gently from side to side. He kept at it long after the sobs and the tears had stopped, knowing full well his singing paired with my view of the ocean was calming me down perfectly. Pretty soon, though the depression was still there, I felt better, cleansed. Michael finished the song. I kissed him and he kissed me back tenderly.

"I got you," he said softly.

I went back to having my arms around his neck. He let out a sigh and stroked my hair, which triggered a sigh out of me.

"Thank you," I told him.

He gave me a squeeze. "Want to go try Supernatural now?"

"Yeah." I got off his lap, stood, and helped him to his feet. It was then he gently took my chin, bent down, gave me a soft kiss, and repeated himself from earlier:

"You're going to be okay."

I nodded, knowing it, because he was right. It was just a bad day; it happened. We walked back to the house, my arm around his waist his arm around my shoulders.

The couch was where we stayed, on a warm sunny day, for the rest of the morning and well into the afternoon. I ended up falling asleep, but it was a light sleep so I heard when my parents came home and discovered us on the couch.

"Have you guys been—" dad started in his normal tone of voice, which was startling loud for some reason.

"Shhh," Michael urgently hushed him. "He's been sleeping for about half an hour now, I want him to get the rest."

"Get the rest?" dad asked his voice softer.

"What happened?" My mom urgently whispered.

"Jet lag triggered his depression pretty badly. I noticed it when he wasn't even enjoying his favorite TV show, which as you know, he usually enjoys no matter how many times he's seen a particular episode. We decided to try the beach, and that's where he broke down. It was bad, guys. I wanted to cry right along with him, it was so strong. Eventually he cried it out, and we came back here to try Supernatural again. It seemed to work, and then he fell asleep."

"How long has he been asleep?"

"About half an hour; I kept Supernatural on as background noise to help keep his calm even in unconsciousness. It seems to be working."

It wasn't just the show that was doing it. It was him, in all his wonderful, beautiful, bright grace. He was a bright spot my depression couldn't touch, my guiding light in the storm, my reason for fighting, my everything.

Tears started up again and Michael became aware of them.

"Honey?"

I sighed, opened my eyes, and met his.

"It's okay. They're tears of gratitude. You continue to keep me going. You continue to hold me up when my own strength fails. You're just...gah."

He chuckled and kissed my head as I put it back against his shoulder.

"You're welcome, my everything," he murmured.

"You're  _my_ everything," I murmured back.

"Mm, I love that."

I smiled for the first time that day, then laughed when he exclaimed victory. It was comforting to know that we were still blessed.

My mood continued to improve after that, though I didn't really feel like moving from the couch for another hour and a half. Michael seemed to have no objections.

Later on after dinner as I returned from the bathroom, I saw Michael standing in the middle of the living room (the furniture had been moved again), the lights dimmed again. My parents were in the kitchen, watching through the open divider on the counter between the rooms, with phones already recording. I stared at them for a moment, and then looked at Michael who reached for me.

"Come here, love," he said his voice a gentle, loving tone. I never could resist it, and felt my muscles relax as I went into familiar arms that held me with endless affection. I was none surprised when our song was the first song to which we danced. I felt the stress of the day melt away as our bodies swayed as one, as I felt his heart beat against mine, as I felt his love wrap around me like a warm safety blanket.

Mom made a comment about how seeing us never failed to make her cry, and that she'd missed us the past three weeks. I revolved in time to see dad wrap an arm around her and kiss her head. I saw the same love there that I shared with Michael and I realized  _this_ was the secret to life. This was the very thing that made life worth living.

True love was everything.

Despite having less than a year left of experiencing this, I was again glad I had decided to go through with it. It would bring me unspeakable pain if it turned out that Michael was the one that died first, but if I had let fear win, I wouldn't have even known him and all the bliss that came with loving him.

"I'm glad I fell in love with you," I murmured then, "despite how this ends."

"I'm glad I fell in love with  _you_ ," Michael replied. "It truly is everything, isn't it?"

I nodded, shared a kiss with him, and then returned my head to his shoulder, closing my eyes as his head returned to mine.

Things sort of settled back into their old rhythm after that. Pretty soon Christmas was upon us.

_December 24th, 2018_

I was freaking out. There was one day left until Christmas and I still hadn't found anything for Michael. No doubt he had gotten me something  _awesome._ I hadn't been able to find a gift that matched how wonderful he was, and of course he was utterly unhelpful, telling me all he wanted for Christmas was me. He had me! He had to know that! I mean, Jesus, I'd married him for fuck's sake! If that didn't scream  _I'm yours_  what did?!

Dad watched me pace back and forth. Michael was with his family for the night and I hadn't gone because I had planned on using the time to find him a perfect gift, but all I'd done instead was mope around stores missing him like hell. I was on the very verge of having a full blown panic attack. It didn't help that I was beating myself up for not going with him. This wouldn't be happening if I'd just fucking gone with him. If I'd gone, I'd be over there, probably sitting on his lap, watching as he sang along with his family, marveling over how beautifully angelic he was. I'd be kissing him under the mistletoe. I'd be dancing with him.  _I'd be with him._

I was a fucking idiot.

"You know, kiddo, I think you're way overthinking this."

I stopped my pacing and stared at my father on the couch.

"I don't know how to stop!"

He stood, came over to me, and laid his hands on my shoulders.

"Son, you say he wasn't helpful in helping you find a gift for him because all he said he wanted was you, but he gave you exactly what you needed to get him the best gift. Listen to the words, Ky. He said  _all he wanted_ was  _you_."

Oh.

 _Oh_.

Aw, shit.

"So when I told him to go without me...oh, God. I really am an idiot."

Dad returned to his spot on the couch.

"Took you long enough," Michael suddenly said. I whirled; saw him standing in front of the front door. My heart let out a screaming cry of joy, and I ran over to hug him. He caught me as I started apologizing profusely. He tried to speak.

"It...it's...hon...I..." I wasn't letting him get in a word edgewise. "Baby!" He took my face. "Listen. It's okay. Shhh. I lied to you. The party doesn't start for another," he checked his watch, "half an hour." He returned his gaze to mine. "If you honestly thought I'd go anywhere to celebrate without you, you need to think again."

"So...if you didn't go, where were you?"

"Well, I  _did_  go, but it was to help set up."

"Oh."

He smiled then. "You are one tortured soul sometimes, sweetheart." He pressed a soft kiss to my lips.

I clung to him wordlessly, letting my anxiety and stress melt away; with it came the clarity to figure out the perfect gift to give him. It might not be "great" to other people, but it wasn't for them, it was for him. It would come from my heart, and I knew he'd love it because of that. I had decided it was going to be a picture of us with a poem in the middle of it. God knew there were more than enough pictures of us for me to pick from. I only hoped I had enough time to make it.

I sighed.

"Got it now, do you?" Michael asked softly.

"Yup," I replied.

He squeezed me.

"I love you more than anything, Ky."

"I love you too."

We kissed.

"Well!" Dad said, clapping his hands together once. "I guess it's time we get a move on."

Part of me felt really irritated as Michael's lips left mine.

"You ready to have some fun?" Michael asked me then, probably to distract from how irritated I was.

"I'm ready to watch you have fun," I replied.

He looked surprised. Then he looked determined and I knew I was fucked.

"Nope; you're having fun at that party."

"Yeah, cos I'll be watching you have fun." I had to try.

Michael laughed.

"You smartass; no, you're going to be actively having fun with me. I will tie puppet strings to you if that's what it takes."

Dad hooted. I could tell he would  _love_ to see that. His wife took one look at him and burst out laughing. Not understanding why, I started laughing with her, which triggered Michael, and all of us laughing is what got Dad started. My irritability was already long gone.

We left the house in very good spirits. When we arrived to the party it was already in full bore, the house packed with more people than I had expected. I mean, most of them had been at my wedding but still, social anxiety hit hard and I froze just inside the doorway, blocking people behind us from getting in.

"Honey, it's okay," Michael told me with his hands on my shoulders, "you know these people."

"It's...just...a...lot..."

It was then Michael turned me towards him and planted a big one on my lips. Immediately my muscles relaxed and with it he was able to move me off to the side away from the door. Someone commented how that'd been the fastest they'd ever seen a couple kiss upon arriving to a party. Some others commented on how cute we looked. Voices kept chattering, making it hard to focus. I pulled away long before I had wanted to, and immediately everyone turned away.

"Do their lives lack passion or something?" I muttered, looking back at Michael who hadn't once taken his eyes off me.

"I don't really care," Michael said, kissing me again. I started understanding how he was feeling. It was a party. I needed to let loose, so, in the spirit of that, I put my arms around his neck. His lips turned up slightly and I felt his relief mixing in with his love. It was then I vowed, no matter how my social anxiety screamed at me, I was going to have as much fun at this party as I could manage, for his sake.

"Thank you," Michael murmured then.

It was my turn to smile.

"I'd pretty much do anything in the world for you," I murmured back.

He uttered a low noise in the back of his throat and went to kissing me again. We became  _that couple_  at the party, and everyone at some point made a wise crack about it, but I managed to get myself to just not care. Michael gave me all the strength I needed to get through it.

It was during the party that I thought up the poem I wanted to use for my gift to him but it wasn't until after the party, as we went upstairs to our room (we had decided to just pick one room instead of going back and forth all the time and thus we chose his), that I realized an even better way to deliver the poem than merely on some picture of us. He had said all he wanted was  _me_ for Christmas and that's exactly what I was going to give him. It was after midnight,  _technically_ it was Christmas, so it made sense to do it now.

As we walked in after preparing for bed, I stopped him on his way to it, drew him to the space at the end of the bed, drew him into my arms, and started slow dancing. I reached into my pocket, pulled out the remote for the music and turned it on. Our song played quietly in the background, setting the mood, but not loud enough to drown out my voice.

"Honey," Michael said, sounding touched. "What's this?"

"My Christmas gift to you; I came up with a poem during the party. It's kind of long."

Michael was intrigued, and as he rested his head over my shoulder, I spoke softly into his ear.

"In the soft still of night, in the storm pouring rain, in the day full of light, in the day that is plain, there you are. With your light that guides me, your strength that holds me, your hope that helps me, and your love that saves me, there you are. Words can't describe my love for you. I try. They can't describe my devotion to you. I try. They can't describe my gratitude for you. I try. They can't describe my passion for you. Always I try. There you are. Everything is what you give to me. I attempt the same, and hope I succeed."

As I fell silent, Michael looked at me, utterly and completely astounded, utterly and completely in love.

"You...came up...with  _that_...during a party?" he seemed to struggle to speak. "You... _remembered_  it?" It was then I saw the tears in his eyes seconds before he wrapped his arms around my neck as I had his so many times before, and planted a shaky kiss on my lips. "You perfectly beautiful human." The tears flowed over down his cheeks. I smiled gently at him, and wiped one away.

"I love you," I told him simply.

He sniffled, wiped the rest of the moisture off his face and then kissed me fiercely. I think you can guess what we did next.

It truly was a wonderful way to start Christmas. 


	19. Chapter 19

We woke Christmas morning at around nine. I woke first and spent about ten minutes watching my beloved sleep before he awoke. When he did, he immediately pulled my face to his for a good morning kiss. No, I didn't care about morning breath. I froze the minute his hand slid beneath the covers, though, and wrapped around me.

"Whatcha doin'?" I asked lightly.

"My body got tired before I was done showing you how much I fucking love you."

I met his gaze, struggling more and more with each passing second (as my body responded to his touches) to focus, and asked: "You really loved that poem, didn't you?"

Feeling the hardness he'd been wanting, he immediately maneuvered himself onto me.

"Let me show you just how much," he said with a fire in his eyes.

Every part of me responded instantly.

Apparently we were a bit too loud because when we came down afterwards (once we got our legs to work again) my parents looked at us with held back amusement in their gazes.

"You two boys have fun this morning?" My mom asked.

"Because that sure was a lot of ruckus if you didn't," dad added.

I, of course, felt immensely embarrassed.

Michael was just fucking happy. He didn't give a good god damn that they'd heard.

"It was so god damn epic," he chirped. He left me standing by the doorway to go get some coffee. My parents were having trouble controlling their laughter watching as Michael practically skipped around the kitchen. I slowly went to the island in the middle, sat down, and kept my gaze right on the tile pattern of the counter, still embarrassed.

Mom noticed and finally her laughter won out. She came over to me and hugged me.

"It's okay, Ky, it's perfectly natural. We're just teasing you."

"It's still embarrassing," I mumbled, but I felt a little better.

Michael had reached us by then, and sat down next to me.

"Hon, it was an act of love; an incredible, mind-blowing,  _fantastically_   _pleasurable_  act of love. Love is never embarrassing."

I touched his cheek, loving how happy he was. He was shining brighter than normal and I was soaking up as much as I could.

"It's still an adjustment that my parents are aware that I have sex."

Michael leaned in and simply kissed me. The conversation moved away from sex (thank god) and onto if we wanted breakfast first or gifts first. Michael and I, having just spent nearly two hours making a  _lot_ of ruckus, were fucking starving.

"Breakfast," we chorused, laughed, and kissed again. Michael refused to part after a few moments so I used the counter to pull my stool over closer to his which helped things immensely. I was glad that dad had helped me realize what Michael had wanted for Christmas because the way he just wouldn't keep his hands off me was fucking great.

Breakfast was eggs and bacon with waffles and toast. I had a glass of orange juice while Michael had about three cups of coffee. All throughout breakfast he kept his left hand (he was right handed) on my leg and occasionally gave it a rub. Since I was also right handed I couldn't return the favor.

Then it was time for presents. My parents had gotten Michael and I one each, each other one each, and Michael and I had pooled some of our allowances together to get them a gift they both could use.

It was decided that I open my gift first. They had attempted to disguise it in a box inside a box, which they thought was fucking  _hilarious_  (okay, so it kind of was), and upon seeing it, I let out a gasp. It was a brand new phone case (something I had desperately needed) with a customized background with one of my favorite pictures of me and Michael. It was when we were in Ireland and he and I were on the dock posing for the timed picture when he took me by surprise and kissed me. I had immediately kissed back and placed one hand on his cheek. That is what the camera took a photo of.

I was beaming from the memory as I went to hug my parents.

"I love it," I told them.

Next it was Michael's turn. They'd gotten him a phone case as well, but with  _his_ favorite picture of us. It was the night we danced the first time at our wedding. I wasn't a fan of the picture because of the tears that had shown on my face, but he loved it because of the way we stared at each other, so obviously in love.

Fighting back tears (no doubt from the memory the gift had triggered) he went to hug them. After he sat down back beside me, he grabbed my chin and kissed me hard. It left me reeling. He sure was affectionate as hell today.

For my parents, as they discovered, Michael and I had gotten them their own laptop. The one they had was shitting out on them and the guy they paid to repair it had, the last time they'd taken it to him, told them it was time to start to consider getting a new one.

They were absolutely floored.

"How the hell did you afford this?!" My dad exclaimed.

"Well, firstly," I replied, "it was on sale."

They laughed.

"And secondly," Michael chimed in, "we had done a good job saving up our allowances over the past few months. I mean, it's nowhere near enough for all you've done for us especially with our wedding and the honeymoon but, I mean, it's  _something_."

We all stood up so that they could hug us. They absolutely loved their gift.

And then Michael snuck in his for me, and it  _clearly_ hadn't been cheap.

I stared at the flat jewelry box he held out (it took up most of the space on his palm), my eyes wide. Then I looked at him.

"Where the fuck have you been hiding  _that_  all this time?" I asked him.

He laughed with my parents. "Under the couch."

"Under...the...couch..." I looked back at the box. "Michael..." There was no way I could accept a gift like that...right?

"Just open it, Ky."

"But..."

" _Kyler._ " Oof, that voice. I had to calm the instant surge of hormones for a moment before taking the box, taking a deep, steadying breath, and opening it.

Inside was not at all what I had expected. Instead of a fancy piece of jewelry, it was a USB stick. Thoroughly confused now, I looked back at him, and he was grinning.

"You should've seen the absolute terror on your face. I had wanted to buy you something, and I almost did, but a better idea had hit me, and if you will, plug the USB into the TV to see what I'm talking about."

I just  _knew_ I was going to be crying in about a minute.

And I wasn't wrong.

Michael had found some video software or something and put together a mix of mini videos and pictures of us over the span of our profound relationship thus far, and had set it all to...can you guess?  _Our song._

At the end of it, utterly blind with tears, and stifling sobs, I slowly looked at Michael. I had absolutely no words,  _again_ , and all I could do was basically attack hug him. He'd been expecting the hug but not the ferocity of it and upon contact had stumbled back a couple steps.

"Now you know how I felt this morning," he whispered in my ear.

It suddenly hit me like a ton of bricks.

"Mom, dad, you may want to leave for a while," I said in a voice that did nothing to mask how delirious with passion I was. Without waiting for their reply I grabbed Michael's hand and dragged him back into our room for another very intense, very pleasurable,  _very loud_ bout of sex (and I mean nothing-held-back kind of loud). I think at one point one of us had let out a strangled scream; maybe both of us...maybe more than once. I wasn't really paying very close attention to that because all I cared about was desperately showing Michael just how much I fucking loved him, and even then, when we finished, we weren't done. Ooh man, were we not even  _close_ to done. We rested, then went again, then rested and went again, then rested, and went again one more time. By the last round it was back to being the slow, passionate love making that we usually did and after  _that,_  we ended up falling asleep (like, could you blame us?). We slept for most of the day (again, could you blame us?).

I woke at four in the afternoon in such torn state. My body ached all the fuck over, but on the other hand, my body also never felt more thoroughly satisfied, either. Either way, I was deliriously happy.

"We should do that again," Michael, who'd woken as soon as I had stretched my muscles, said as he put his arms back around me when I settled back against him.

"Now?!" I asked, shocked.

He laughed.

"Oh, baby, I love you, but I can't do any more."

"That's totally fine," I told him with a chuckle, "that was my point. I can't either."

Still, we kissed. Because no matter how spent our bodies were, we still couldn't kiss enough. Michael let out a sigh at the end of it as I put my head on his chest. I was entirely content staring at the wall while in his arms with his head against mine. I loved the totality of the peace I felt from my head to my toes; it was there after every time we made love. It was there now tenfold; and the silence around us...it was silence full of tenderness. It settled around us like a warm, comforting blanket. There were no doubts in this room, no fears, no anger, no sadness; only the purest love.

I never wanted it to end.

As usual, though, our bodies began making other needs readily apparent. So we finally, around four-fifty-three in the afternoon, dragged ourselves out of bed. First we alternated using the bathroom (neither of us had to go "number two", so relax), then we showered together (and spent too much time kissing for this time to have saved any water), did the whole post-shower routine together, and finally, at five-thirty or so, we headed downstairs. My parents were on the couch watching some ghost hunting TV show, and the very  _millisecond_ that we had stepped into the living room, their teasing began. They never looked at us, only at each other, for the duration of it.

"Ooh, look who finally made it out of bed!" My dad exclaimed.

"I  _honestly_  didn't think they'd ever leave! Way they just kept going and  _going and go-oing_." She stretched out the last word.

Dad nodded his agreement. "And the noise they made! Holy hell! The whole entire neighborhood heard 'em!"

"Even got a few complaints!" Mom said.

Michael and I looked at each other as they continued; the both of us grinning like idiots. His eyes were alight with affection, and I was sure he saw the same thing in mine, and so, we stood there arms around each other and heads rested together, for a good ten minutes before finally they ran out of things to say. They finally looked at us with grins on their faces.

"Howdy boys," they chorused. I noticed their gazes fell mostly upon me.

"I regret nothing," I told them.

They burst into laughter, Michael too, only Michael proceeded to, as he laughed, grab me in a bear hug and proclaim once more his endless love for me.

It was then we kissed some more and that was the end of the teasing. My parents offered us to watch a movie with them, and since we had nothing better to do, we obliged. Michael sat in the only available seat left, an oversized arm chair, and I got to get all snuggled in his arms on his lap.

Mom took another picture of us.

The movie we ended up watching was the new Tom Cruise mummy movie. It was fantastic.

Life varied little between then and Valentine's day. Michael and I went back to school when winter break ended. The jocks bullied us because we didn't hide whenever we wanted to kiss, or hug, or cuddle, or simply hold hands. I didn't understand why the jocks felt so threatened by us. Did they think we were going to turn them gay or something? They didn't realize that, had they not been bothering us so often, we wouldn't have given a good god damn about their existence. Other than that, it was the same old, same old. Then Valentine's Day hit and I found out Michael and I shared the same disgust for the holiday, which ironically was romantic for us and we ended up "celebrating". At the end of it I realized it didn't matter the specific day we had fun on, just as long as we had fun.

March is when trouble hit, because even the best of relationships eventually cooled down. For us it was just a building annoyance over things we did together day in and day out that started us sniping at each other over literally nothing which eventually led to less kissing, less touching which put a dead stop to sex, which  _really_ started to strain our relationship (for the record, sex does not need to happen for a relationship to be a full and happy one; it was just another thing we had added to our list of things that were going wrong).

On March seventh, a Saturday, things blew up over  _literally_ some chicken. See, he had eaten about an hour before I had, and when I went to look for the chicken I wanted, I couldn't find it. Annoyed, I shut the door to the fridge and let out a groan. There'd been nothing else I wanted. Michael, in the living room, looked over at me.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"The damn chicken I wanted is gone."

"That'd be because I ate it."

I threw my hands up in the air. "Well  _great_. Now what am I supposed to eat?"

He didn't appreciate my tone, having heard the blame there.

"Well, if you'd fucking  _told me_ that you planned on having the chicken, I wouldn't have eaten it!"

"So, I'm supposed to just tell you, every day, what I desire to eat for lunch? Shall I start doing that for breakfast and dinner too so mom doesn't accidentally make you my dish?"

He tossed the remote down, got up, and went over into the kitchen.

"Maybe you should, Kyler! Because I'm not going to stand here and let you blame me for shit I had no idea about! I can't read your fucking mind. I can only sense what you're feeling if I'm touching you and god knows  _that_  hardly ever happens anymore, so don't you fucking  _dare_ put the blame on me!"

"Now who's the one blaming the other!" I sniped back at him. "I'M not the reason we don't touch anymore!"

"Oh, so that's my fault too? Is everything my fucking fault?!"

"MAYBE IT IS!" I yelled.

My parents, who had walked in the front door just then, froze, staring at us with wide eyes.

"You know what, Kyler, how about you go fuck yourself from now on?! Since I  _apparently_ can't do anything right!"

"Why you fucking—"

"Woah, woah, woah!" Dad yelled, running into the kitchen and getting between us just as I was about to punch the love of my life. "Easy does it, guys! Come on! What the hell is going on?"

We glowered in silence at each other with my father between us, one hand on each of our chests to hold us apart.

"Honey, I think they reached it," his wife said then.

He looked at her, and then looked at the both of us, and I saw the realization hit him. I started to come back down a bit, realizing the seriousness of the moment.

"Reached what?" I asked, now anxious.

Dad sighed. "You and Michael have spent," he quickly recounted from his memory, "five months or so practically glued to each other's side. That's twenty-four hours of every day of every week of those five months. Even the best of relationships require space, and I think it's time you two take some of that space right now."

I started to panic. "But—"

Michael didn't seem too pleased, either.

"It's not forever, sweetheart," my mom chimed in, glancing between the two of us, "I think a couple days should do it."

"I don't understand," Michael said then.

"Michael, honey, we love you, truly, and this is your home too, but in order for this relationship to continue, I think you should stay with your family for a little bit; a couple days, no more than a week."

Michael and I stared miserably at each other. I had hoped we wouldn't reach  _this_ point in our marriage.

"I mean, Christ, Ky, you were about to punch him," my father commented.

Dad had a point.

Michael saw it, too.

"Okay," we reluctantly chorused.

"I'll go pack," Michael said quietly. I let him go, suddenly feeling like crying.

My parents hugged me and assured me that they'd gone through the very same thing. It wouldn't be easy but the end would justify the means.

When Michael opened the front door about an hour later to head out, I suddenly realized I didn't want the  _last_ thing I said to him to be something out of anger.

"Michael, wait," I said, worried he wouldn't. He did, though. He set his suitcase down and turned back towards me.

"Yeah, Ky?" he asked.

I went up to him, hesitated when I saw the confusion in his eyes as I reached for him and then carefully put my hands on his cheeks. Seeing that he wasn't pulling away and not sensing any negative reactions, I continued my advance until my lips could reach his, and then I kissed him softly. His hands rested on my hips as he softly kissed back.

"I'm sorry," I told him.

He placed a hand to my cheek and pressed a kiss to my forehead.

"I know. I'm sorry, too. I still love you, you know that, right?"

Well, I did now.

"I love you, too."

He smiled slightly, kissed me again, and then turned and headed back out the door after picking up his luggage. My heart was screaming at me to not let him go, but my mind knew my parents were right. This had to happen. If we didn't do this, we were going to tear each other apart, and I didn't want that. I knew he didn't either.

The first night sleeping without him was utter hell (though all the nights I spent without him were utter hell). The bed was suddenly too big and too empty. The room was empty. The air felt empty. Everything was just  _empty._ Missing him had my heart heavy, loneliness was already creeping it's way in, and with no light to hold it off, because that light was elsewhere, my depression took a full hold of me.

We saw each other in school which was incredibly weird. The first time we spotted each other (that happened on Monday) we approached each other and then just stood, uncertain as to what we were allowed to do. We decided in the spirt of the temporary distance that we'd not touch each other, and with slight smiles we awkwardly parted ways. I thought by the end of the week we'd calmly just get back together, and though we  _did_ get back together, it wasn't calm.

It also hadn't happened until Sunday, March fifteenth, a day longer than mom had estimated. It was those extra twenty four hours that I lost the last of my tolerance.

I had just gotten home from an outing at the beach with some friends (which hadn't cheered me up in the least), and with a heavy sigh sat on the couch. It was about four in the afternoon.

"How do you feel, hon?" My mother asked.

"Like hell, mom, I feel like hell. I can't sleep. I'm never hungry. I'm cold at night, I can't get comfortable, I'm lonely as hell, and I miss him so much I keep crying myself to sleep because that's the only damn way I fucking sleep. Jesus!" I leaned forward and put my head in my hands. "I can't fucking do this anymore!"

"Well, I don't think Michael can, either. He just got out of a car with the most determined look on his face."

Michael was here? It hit me.  _Michael was here!_  I leapt to my feet and  _ran_ to the door. The door refused to open easily, but it was a long-ish walk from the road to our place so by the time I finally got the fucking thing open, Michael had just breached the clearing. I leapt past the steps, and ran like hell towards him. Seeing what I was doing, he stopped his advance in order to catch me. Momentum from the moment I collided with him had him sort of spinning around to avoid falling, but all I cared about was having my lips locked securely with his. My heart wept with utter joy at the sensation. We sort of wrestled each other in the surge of passion and ended up falling to our knees, and then ultimately he laid down on the ground with me straddling him on top. Our lips had never parted during any of this.

As things calmed down between us, he slid his hands down my back; I pulled away as they stopped at my ass and rested there.

"I guess it worked," I said then.

"I don't want to ever do that shit again."

I'd seen the dark circles that had started to appear on his face; surely he'd seen the bags under mine from all the crying I'd been doing.

"See, boys?" Dad said out of nowhere, stepping over us on his way to the house. "Distance always works." He was carrying Michael's luggage.

Michael looked at him.

"I should really hate you for putting us through that, but I don't."

Dad smiled.

"Because it worked; the distance recalibrated you guys and reminded you of what was truly important."

I sighed against Michael's chest, marveling at his wonderful, soothing heartbeat. More tired than I'd realized, I dozed off.

"Honey," Michael said suddenly. I jerked awake and looked at him.

He smiled.

"I'm all for sleeping like this but could we do it on a surface that's more comfortable than the ground?"

"Ooh, sorry." I got off him and helped him to his feet.

"Come on, love." He took my hand and we went over to the couch for a nap. It was decided about the couch because if we'd slept in our bed we'd end up there all night and neither of us wanted to sleep our reunion away with having to go back to school tomorrow.

As soon as we'd settled together on the couch, we passed right out. It was the best sleep I'd had all week.    


	20. Chapter 20

I woke around six and discovered I was in my bed, alone. Confused, I sat up and looked around. It was dark in the room but given a moment my eyes adjusted and I saw that nobody else was in the room. I got more confused with each passing second. Had Michael even come back? Had it all been a dream? Breathing hitching in my throat, I got out of bed and stumbled my way down the hall to his. It was empty, too. Tears brimming as it became more and more readily apparent that I had only dreamt of Michael returning, I slowly made my way downstairs. It was then I heard the laughter. Rounding the corner, I saw my parents and Michael (thank god) chatting over coffee. I stared as they remained unaware of my presence.

Then mom happened to look my way and let out my name in a gasp. Michael's head instantly turned in my direction.

"Oh! Honey!" He set his cup down and rushed over to me. I let out a sob as he encased me in his arms. "Shh shh shh, shhhhh. It's okay. Shhhh."

"I...I thought....I...you..."

"Oh, baby, I'm so sorry," he buried his face in my hair. "I didn't think. Shhhh. It's okay. I thought you'd sleep longer."

I looked up at him.

"You  _are_ back, right?"

He nodded. "I'm back. It's okay. Shhhh." He held my head to his chest and started to sway as he stroked my hair.

I calmed down pretty quick after that and felt more exhausted than ever. I don't think I'll ever be as rested as I once was but I had Michael back so that was okay.

Michael was humming our song as his hand stroked up my back, then down my back repeatedly. I was doing the same to him, and we were just, like, standing there perfectly content just to be in each other's arms.

"Works like a charm every time," my dad said softly.

Every time?!

This would happen more than once?!

"Shhhh," Michael murmured, though it sounded less confident than before. "Breathe, my love, just breathe."

"I can't," I whined.

So he kissed me, sending calm slowly but surely throughout my entire body. Promptly I relaxed in his arms.

"I love how they do that," my mother commented.

"Do what, kiss?" dad asked absently. Apparently he hadn't been watching.

"Calm each other down."

Promptly she giggled and told him to stop it. I pulled away then, horrified, but they weren't up to anything.

Michael looked hurt.

"I wasn't done, Ky," he said in a whine of his own. My body reacted instantly, pulling him back to me.

"Every time," he mumbled against my lips, sounding smug.

"Just kiss me," I told him.

That night something spectacular happened when we made love. It was a rare moment that we actually both came at the same time, and the very second we had, a bright light appeared above us and sent out a bright, golden flash.

"Woah!" Michael exclaimed.

"What the hell was that?" I asked.

He looked back at me and started smiling real big.

"I think  _we_ did that. Our love so profound pooled into one ecstatic moment created whatever that was."

I smiled right along with him as my heart swelled with the thought of it.

"Come here," I told him, pulling him back down to me. His love was so strong it permeated every inch of me and then some. We made love for the second time in a row, surprising the both of us when we went all the way to orgasm without needing a rest. I think the only reason we stopped after that was because we had school and it was getting late.

It felt absolutely amazing to be back in bed with him.

The next morning at breakfast, we brought up our experience (the light) with my parents.

"Yeah, we saw it too," and they looked  _really_  happy about it. That's how I knew.

"That was something important, wasn't it?" I asked.

They sat opposite the island from us and it was mom who asked the next question.

"Did you both reach orgasm at the same time last night?"

"Down to the last millisecond," Michael answered. I nodded.

My parents beamed at each other and Michael's hand took mine, interlocking his fingers with mine

"What was it?" I asked them.

"It happens after the first distance, usually," dad began, "and it happens if the couple makes love the night when they reunite. It's a sign. It's a wonderfully beautiful sign that your bond is now utterly unbreakable. There's not a god damn issue that will ever again tear you two apart, big or miniscule."

"It also means the both of you are stronger now," my mother said, "your powers likewise because you strength comes from your bond so as it grows and strengthens..."

"We grow and strengthen," I murmured, mesmerized.

"That makes everything make  _so_ much more sense! Everything we've gone through," Michael was looking at me. "Now words are  _excruciatingly_  not even close enough."

"You're telling me," I told him, pulling him in for one of our trademark kisses.

Suddenly mom started to, well, for lack of a better term, fangirling.

"Honey!" She was talking to her husband. "Look!"

"I see it, sweetheart." He laughed. "Guys, you might want to look up."

We pulled apart and looked up. Above our heads, floating, was what looked like an ocean with a sun that was setting. Sort of like a hologram kind of thing.

"Woahh," we chorused. My heart let out a sob of joy. It knew.

"Michael," I half-whined, kind of tugging on his shirt; I was painfully overcome with emotion.

"I know, baby, I know. It's okay. You're okay."

I looked back down at him and was shocked to see the tears on his face.

"Aw, honey," I wiped them away. "You're okay."

He nodded, taking a breath.

"You feel it, though?" He asked.

"We're complete in every possible way."

He nodded.

And there was the amazement again that literally  _none_  of this would've been experienced if we'd given into fear. No matter how this ended, I would go back and make the same choice because this...what I shared with Michael...it was the most beautiful series of experiences I knew I'd ever know, and that was more than enough.

Then the moment was over, everyone calmed down, and it was just another day for us.

Only...it wasn't. All day I felt this sense of utter calm, a sense of total assurance that everything was going to work out perfectly, that I had absolutely nothing to fear. The anxiety I had suffered most of my life, as well as the depression seemed so distant to me now. Every broken piece within me, every scar, it was all gone. Michael's love had thoroughly healed me. It had taken the broken pieces and stitched them perfectly together like new but better, stronger. It had taken every scar and erased both the scar  _and_  the pain that was associated with it. I finally felt whole. Could it really be?

When I saw Michael next, which was at the end of the school day, I was waiting for him outside the building. He spotted me and knew what was coming long before he'd reached me; I knew because his lips were ready just as mine met them. His arms pulled me up and close and I could swear I heard whispers saying how it was going to be okay, that this was meant to be, that we were stronger than absolutely everything, and so on.

When we pulled away, it seemed to happen in slow motion, and when I looked up into his golden brown eyes, I was looking at an absolute angel.

He was looking at me as if  _I_ was the angel.

It occurred to me then that we'd been standing here for long enough for some people to start to notice.

Yet I didn't care. I didn't care who saw. I didn't care if strangers were judging us. I was free. I was so completely, totally free.

"You are so beautiful," Michael said suddenly, holding a hand to my cheek.

" _You're_ beautiful, Michael," I said, touching  _his_  cheek.

He smiled, making the world shine even brighter on this sunny day. I felt my heart give a sigh of relief; it really was finally, completely, totally whole again.

I heard myself murmuring my love to Michael before kissing him again. I didn't give a damn how often I repeated all of this today or in the days following. I was happy, he was happy; this was our absolutely perfect life. There was nothing else we needed.

Well, besides air to breathe and all that but, still.

"Look what we have here, boys!" a familiar voice of one of our bullies suddenly said. I jumped slightly, startled for a mere moment but quickly returned to my state of pure bliss. Michael slid his arm around my waist as we turned towards the group. I rested my arm on his shoulder as I leaned into his arm, and locked the fingers of both of my hands together, completely at ease.

"Howdy boys," Michael greeted. "What's the torture agenda for today?"

They seemed to sense something was different about us, because they stopped further away from us than usual.

"Well, it's a surprise," one of them said.

"Oh, honey," Michael looked at me, feigning excitement, "they've got a surprise for us!"

"I hope it's a pony!" I replied, feigning the same.

"Oooh! Yes! Is it a pony, guys?" Michael asked them. I absolutely loved the uncertainty that was in every part of their expressions.

"Being a smartass will only prolong your pain," another said, not amused.

Michael sighed, and with no effort what so ever, he used the voice (which was stronger than  _ever)_ on them.

" _Listen up you sack of worthless shits. You can't touch us, you can't break us, and you sure as hell are done trying. You will leave us the fuck alone for the rest of your sorry little lives. You will forget all about our existence. We're done wasting time dealing with you. We have so many better things to do. Leave us the hell alone, got it?!_ " It was so profound that the last two words echoed with such confident finality. I was so turned on.

I'd never seen a group scramble so fast, but that was the least of my concerns. I looked at Michael and saw the look of surprise on his face.

"It's never been that powerful before."

"Mom was right," I said happily. "We're strong as hell."

He lifted me up then, and held me as I wrapped my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck.

"Sexy," I purred.

"Mm," he nuzzled my neck, to which I uttered a low moan. His arms tightened around me. "I want you," he said gutturally.

"Let me down, I wanna test something."

"I don't wanna let you down. I want to hold you up against a wall and—"

"Mike! Oh my god." He was driving me crazy. "Just..." my brain was already latched onto the scenario he'd presented. "Jesus, man."

Chortling, Michael let me down.

"What'd you wanna try?" he asked.

It took me a moment to remember, because he kept looking at me with those god damned eyes of his, and all I wanted was him right here right now, but I got it, eventually.

"We're going to run at my speed together. I'm betting you don't get tired and can keep up if we do this while touching somehow, most likely holding hands."

"Oooh!" He took my hand. "Let's go!"

I'd been right. We burst into the house, tossed our bags at the couch and couldn't even make it up the stairs. Thank God my parents got home late on Mondays.

By the time they arrived, we were on the couch, clothes we'd stripped picked up (and put back on), bags picked up, pictures righted, the hallway cleaned up, and our homework done.

Michael giggled into my neck (which made my heart squeal like hell) when my parents greeted us, and then chorused with me as I said hi back.

"How was your day?" I asked them.

Michael was trying not to seem to  _obviously_ happy, but he was adorably failing at it. My dad took one look at him, knew what we'd been up to, and shook his head.

"You two have sex more often than rabbits, I swear."

"We enjoy it more, too," Michael said.

"Michael!" I exclaimed through my laugh.

"What?? We do."

My dad was laughing with me but I was staring at Michael, insanely in love with him, shaking my head with wonder. He regretted nothing.

"Well, kiddo," my dad said then, answering my initial question, "my day went alright. Your mom had a tough one."

Michael and I became serious.

"Is she okay?" Michael asked.

"Oh, she's fine, guys. Her boss put her under an insane amount of stress and she snapped is all."

I frowned. "Mom doesn't snap, dad, no matter how much stress she goes under. She has the power to turn stress into something more productive." There was something more, there.

And that's when I saw it on his face.

"Oh my god!" I jumped up. "Mom's pregnant!"

"What?!" Michael exclaimed, also jumping up.

Dad was looking impressed.

"How'd you figure it out? She just found out two hours ago."

"You have a horrible poker face, dad. I don't know, though, if I should say congratulations or not?"

Dad smiled wearily, suddenly looking much older than thirty-five.

"After we had you, we were told we'd never be able to make another child. After the first two years of testing that theory out with no success, we accepted it as truth."

I let out a fake shocked gasp.

"After all the grief you gave me about wearing condoms and being safe and—"

"Oh, shut up, Ky," my father said with a laugh. "It's different for you."

I folded my arms across my chest.

"Just because the sex  _you_  have is as nature intended it doesn't mean you get to be a hypocrite."

My dad rolled his eyes. I heard Michael laughing and struggled to stop the smile that wanted out.

"Son, there's no other way to make a baby."

"So you WERE trying for a baby," I said then, trying to remember what stance I was taking.

Dad looked as confused as I felt.

Michael was looking at me, highly amused, madly in love, but also a little confused.

"Hon, are you okay?" he asked. "Did you hit your head?" I heard what he'd left unspoken:  _was I too rough with you earlier?_

I touched his cheek. "I'm just fine."

He seemed to melt from my touch and gentle tone of voice, and then he was holding me from behind, his love wrapping me oh so comfortably. I wanted to freeze time just to make this last longer but I decided against it. I realized dad was still waiting for my answer.

"Uh....I honestly forgot what I was trying to do. Anyways, uhm, well, I guess the doctors were wrong."

Dad shrugged.

"Is she going to be okay?" Michael asked.

Dad nodded.

"She's gonna be fine. We've always wanted another kid; it's just we'd accepted it wasn't going to happen. So, we just need time to wrap our heads around it."

I left Michael's arms to go hug my father, only to have Michael hug the both of us at the same time.

When mom came out an hour later, we went and hugged her. She let out a quiet laugh as she hugged us back and told us how much she loved us. Dad joined the group hug. We were really one of the lucky families that thrived on love instead of falling apart due to fear. I was insanely blessed, I knew it.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING. Though nobody actually gets raped, everything was consensual, the word is said often throughout this chapter. If this is a trigger, you may wish to skip this chapter.

That night, Michael went up to bed first, and I told him I'd be up in a minute. My parents were still awake and I had wanted to talk to them about planning a birthday party for my beloved. When we were alone, they asked what was up.

"Well," I said, "you know how Michael's birthday is in an about a week?" It was on March twenty-second to be exact, which they did know and nodded at me. "Well, I want to take him, for his birthday, to a Journey concert."

"Oh, honey!" My mom crooned. She also had a love for Journey and I had one night listened to her and Michael talk passionately about that band.

It was then I realized Michael's birthday didn't have to just be me and him.

"Well, I looked up tickets and I guess it's a charity concert or some sort of thing, I don't know, anyways they're pretty cheap at about thirty-five per ticket regardless to seat location, so I mean..."

Immediately mom turned to her husband, and just as fast her husband said yes. She squealed and hugged him. I smiled at first, and then looked away as they kissed. I loved the love between them, but they were my parents, and I didn't want to think about their relationship;  _that_ part still creeped me out.

"So, do you remember the site where you saw those tickets?" dad asked once they parted.

I nodded and brought them to the page on their laptop. It was to my surprise when dad bought all of us tickets and said I didn't have to pay for my half.

"But—"

"Son, I want you to save your money to buy him whatever he wants at that concert."

I started to smile.

"He'll love that."

Dad pointed a finger at me as he also smiled.

"Exactly. Now, I'm sure your loverboy is missing you something terrible so why don't you go on up? We got things down here."

I nodded, again not thinking too much about their relationship, and headed up the stairs. Michael was in bed, propped up reading the book I'd gotten in Ireland. He looked up when I walked in and smiled.

"Hi, babe, everything okay?" he asked.

I took off my shirt, then my pants, and then climbed into bed with him.

"Everything's great," I told him. "Just planning some stuff for your birthday."

He chuckled. "I guess it's not a surprise party."

"You hate surprise parties," I responded, lightly laying my hand on his thigh on top of the sheet then running my hand up and down it gently. He closed his book, set it on the nightstand, and took my face in his hands. My hand, as we kissed, slid over to his groin and rested there. He paused his kissing me, meeting my eyes.

"I'm sorry, I forgot to—"

"Just making sure you meant to do that," he murmured, sliding his own hand to my own groin, apparently okay to have sex again despite our wild bout earlier. Our own moans drowned out those of my parents downstairs which was another plus.

In the morning, upon waking, he was not in bed. I didn't think much of it until I got into the bathroom and saw the note taped to the mirror there.

_Hey hon,_

_I need to talk to you about something, so when you wake up I'll be at our spot waiting. I'll wait as long it takes for you to see this note._

_Love,_

_Michael_

Uh-oh, that couldn't be good. I knew I shouldn't keep him waiting now that I was aware of it, so I went back to my bedroom once finished using the bathroom, put on some sweats and a sleeveless shirt, got on my sandals and headed to our spot. As the note had said, Michael was there, but he waiting over by the shore (instead of on the rock), the only other person (besides me, of course) around this morning. I wasn't worried about school because this year spring break was decided to be this week. We'd be going back to school on his birthday.

I approached him, hands in my pockets so I didn't touch him. I knew he didn't want to be touched; I just didn't know why. He looked at me as I stopped by his side.

"Good morning beautiful," he said softly.

"Good morning gorgeous," I replied automatically. We stood like this for a few minutes, not touching but standing close, gazing out upon the ocean. I wanted to ask him what was wrong but felt that he needed to approach it in his own time, and would eventually if I merely gave him the chance. Sure enough, he turned to me after a few more minutes, and in his eyes I saw sadness.

"Did you have sex with me last night to drown out your parents having sex downstairs?"

I swallowed hard and knew there was no lying to him (to protect his feelings, I mean) because he was close enough to feel whatever I felt. My voice suddenly didn't want to work, so all I could do was nod.

He sighed, looking sadder now.

"Damn." He turned back towards the ocean, picked up a pebble, and attempted to skip it on the relatively calm ocean. It failed.

I knew that the reason for what I had done last night was wrong, and it was exactly the kind of thing I had sworn I wouldn't do. There were no excuses. I had betrayed him.

"Why?" he asked then. He turned back to me.

"I honestly don't know. I wasn't thinking, I guess. There are no excuses. I wronged you, and I will understand if you want to divorce and never see me again."

Michael looked surprised, and then he laughed incredulously as he looked up to the sky. Finally he looked back at me.

"Jesus, Kyler, I'm not going to leave you every time you let me down or every time we run into some problem we didn't foresee. I'm not mad at you. I should be, but I'm not. I'm mostly just hurt. You basically used me for my body last night, and I don't like it when guys do that."

"I owe it to you to fix it but I don't know how," I admitted to him. It was odd how calm we both were. Our emotions were so incredibly grounded.

"Well, first off, sex is off the table."

"Forever?"

He shook his head. "Just until I can trust you to respect my body again. You have to understand, Ky, my body is not a toy for you. My body is not a means to an end. My body is for you to treasure with utmost respect. I will use it to make you feel good but I can do that only if I can trust you to take care of it. I hope this never happens again, because I really hate waking up being unhappy with you." To my surprise he touched my face. "Show me you respect me, Kyler. That's how you make this up to me."

I nodded.

"I really am so sorry," I told him earnestly.

He smiled slightly and patted my cheek before withdrawing his hand.

"I know you are. I know this isn't going to happen again. You are only human, and it's hard to overcome emotions sometimes. I know. I think that's why I'm not mad. Still. You did hurt me and it's going to take a little time for me to come back from that. We'll be okay, though, precisely because we love each other. Trust that. Come on. Let's get home so as not to worry your parents." He started the way we'd come and I silently followed, wondering how in the hell I had slipped like this. What I had done last night was so entirely  _not_ me. No wonder Michael was so sad, because he knew it, too.

Back at the house my parents were awake as we walked in. They knew instantly that Michael and I were working through something.

Dad asked what had happened. Michael just shook his head at him as he headed towards the coffee pot.

"If you don't mind, I'd like to keep that between Kyler and me. He knows what he did. I know he's sorry. We worked out how he's going to make it up to me. It'll be fine. He's learned his lesson and it's not going to happen again."

Dad looked at me with surprise, same as my mother. Michael just looked at me, love in his gaze still but dimmed by the sadness he felt. I swallowed hard, deserving their judgements but having a hard time handling it, so eventually I just turned around and went upstairs to shower and dress. Michael and I spent the day mostly just doing our own thing. All day my brain went over last night, trying desperately to find out what had triggered me to act like that. It frustrated me to no end that I literally couldn't figure it out. I had just...done it. Was I changing? Was I becoming  _worse_? Was it my depression? I just wanted some damn answers so I could get rid of it so I never brought that look back into Michael's eyes. I think quiet disappointment was far worse than an angry outburst because it was clearer to see just how hurt the person was.

That night in bed as we shared it but slept apart and shortly after I turned away from to give him the space he still needed, I felt the tears well up and start down my cheeks. Not wanting to disturb him with the sobs surely to come, I slipped out of bed and headed downstairs. My parents were in their room so the whole downstairs was dark. I waited for my eyes to adjust and then went over to the gazebo door and slipped outside, gently closing the glass door behind me. Out here I could smell the ocean, and it was here, as I sat in one of the chairs all alone in the dark, that I let go.

It came as a surprise to me when the door opened a long time later, and Michael stepped through. I had just wiped the last of the moisture from my face.

"Michael?" I asked my voice thick.

"Honey, what are you doing out here?"

 _Being selfish_ , I thought darkly.

"Being selfish," I ended up saying.

"What?"

I sighed heavily.

"I spent all day trying to search for what caused me to hurt you like that, and I couldn't figure it out, which frustrated me all to hell. I came out here to cry because I was frustrated. That's being selfish."

I could see just enough of Michael's face to see that the confusion didn't leave.

"Michael, I'm the one that hurt you. I don't get the right to fucking cry about it."

He started to get it, and he let out a sigh of his own.

"Kyler, you've managed in a day to beat yourself far more than you deserve for what happened." He came over to me and took my hands. "You are human and for some reason you keep forgetting that. You're perfect, but you're also not perfect. None of us are. We make mistakes."

"I—"

"Let me finish, hon. Most of what I said this morning was because I was still shocked it had happened at all. I didn't understand not only why it happened but  _how_ it could've happened, but throughout the day I watched you internally beat yourself over it, and I saw the tears brimming as we went to bed. I felt it when you left. I decided to let you get it out before I came and talked to you. Kyler,  _I love you_. I feel like you think I don't, or at least don't as much, but I do. That hasn't changed one bit. And I think what happened last night doesn't have a reason why. It just happened."

"No," I took my hands out of his. "I have to have a reason why. I have to know what the hell caused me to act like such an asshole. I swore I wouldn't hurt you. What made me break that damn promise? What made me betray you? Michael, I can't get rid of whatever made me act like that if I don't...fucking...Jesus." I sat back down as fresh tears started, triggered by the frustration that was still there. I was beginning to wonder why the hell I was crying so much, and already knew the answer. The enormity of this relationship was opening me up in ways I'd never dared to before. There were a lot of pent up emotions from years of repressing them. Better out than in, I guess.

Michael sat beside me, pulled me against him, and started to rub my back.

"Let it out," he whispered.

"But—"

"Kyler, you need to let it out. That's the only way through this. You're just as entitled to cry about this situation as I am precisely because what happened was so entirely out of character for you."

Silence settled between us as I couldn't fight the tears and he just...he was just there.

After  _that_ was over, I started to lean away, but he whispered  _not yet_  and held me to him.

"But I—"

"Just let me hold you, Kyler."

No! This was all wrong. I stood up and faced him.

"Michael, I'M the one who's supposed to be supporting YOU. I'm the one who's supposed to be soothing you! I'm the one who's supposed to be taking care of you! You're the god damn victim!"

It was then he looked like he understood perfectly what was wrong.

"Oh, honey," he said mournfully, standing up.

"What?" I asked, totally lost.

"Darling, baby, sweetheart, I understand now." He came over to me, touched my face briefly, and then put his hands on my arms. "Kyler, my sweet angel, you didn't rape me last night."

As soon as he'd said it, I understood partly. I was so upset because I believed I  _had_  raped him, and I couldn't find a reason why I had acted like that precisely because I  _hadn't_  raped him. I didn't quite believe it, though.

"I did," I whispered.

He shook his head. "No, my love, you really didn't. You seduced me; you didn't force me to have sex with you. I gave you my consent. I was perfectly okay with having sex last night. Somewhere along the line today, though, you convinced yourself that you forced yourself upon me."

I couldn't seem to grasp what he was saying so he kept trying.

"Kyler, I didn't figure out what happened until towards the end, long after I'd given the consent for us to have sex. The key word there is consent. I said it was okay. You never hurt me physically. My betrayal was entirely emotional. I heard your parents come shortly after we finished, and I realized what had happened. You get weird about them having sex, and last night your brain shorted out. Your heart kicked in though, reminding you of everything you needed, and that's why you waited for me to give you my okay before continuing. You waited, hon. I just didn't like that you had initiated it basically because of what your parents were doing instead of doing it just because you wanted me."

I took in a shaky breath.

"I pretty much raped you," I whispered. "If not physically then emotionally."

Michael uttered a half-sigh-half-groan and suddenly grabbed me in a bear hug.

"You have got to stop torturing yourself, Kyler," he said urgently into my ear. "In no way, shape, or form did you rape me last night, okay?" He pulled back and held his hands to my face. "Listen to me now, baby.  _You. Did. Not. Rape. Me._ "

Using the voice shorted out the lies being whispered in my mind, and presently I realized entirely what he was saying.

"Oh," I said then.

Seeing I had got that part, Michael let out a heavy sigh and hugged me again.

"I love you so much, Kyler. I love being married to you. I love being with you. I love making love with you. I love our life together. You are so incredibly human and I love it to death." He eased back once more to look at me. "It was just an err in judgement, sweetheart, a moment of weakness. In my shock, I utterly forgot that your depression would then immediately sweep in and make things a thousand times worse in that beautiful mind of yours." He pressed a kiss to my forehead, and then rested his forehead against mine. "I know you respect me; I know you respect my body. I know you love me. I know you'd never intentionally hurt me, and that's exactly the point you need to realize." He looked up into my eyes. "You did not  _intentionally_ hurt me. You did not premeditate this. You simply forgot to think things all the way through. It happens to everyone on this planet, Kyler. Being in the perfect relationship doesn't make either one of us perfect saints. We are human thus we are flawed. I have no other way to phrase this so that you understand."

I was beginning to get it, I think.

"Oh," I said again, this time with a sigh; so much for being free from depression. "Is it never going to go away?" We didn't have much time left together and this fucking thing was getting in the way.

He felt my despair.

"I don't know, sweetheart, but I do know that we didn't let fear win over us. Therefore I know we have the strength to keep the depression from winning over us. It doesn't rule over us now, it's not going to consume our time because we ARE happy together, and that's what we're going to focus on."

"I really didn't rape you?" I asked then.

"I swear on my life, I really did say it was okay, my love. Come on. It's getting late. Let's get some sleep and continue this later." As he started towards the door with my hand in his, I stopped him again.

"Michael."

"Yes, hon?"

"I'm so sorry I put you in this situation. I'm so sorry I disrespected you. I'm just so god damn sorry."

"And though I forgive you, you're always going to be sorry. Well baby, I'm always going to forgive you, so eventually you're going to have to let go of your guilt because it's not doing you any good anymore. It's no longer necessary. You've given me all the proof I need that you fully respect both me and my body. Now. Please. I beg of you. Come to bed with me. I'll let you hold me tonight if that's what you wish."

I had no more arguments so I followed him back into the house and up to our room, my hand never leaving his.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING. The discussion of possible rape started in the previous chapter continues into this one. Once more, you may wish to skip this chapter.

Upon waking in the morning, Michael was already awake and simply holding me against him. I was shocked to discover my face was wet with tears and my breathing was hitching. Yet I couldn't remember what I'd been dreaming about.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled.

"For what, sweetheart?"

"Crying."

Michael continued rubbing my back.

"Do you remember what you were dreaming about?"

"No."

"It was about how you raped me, you son of a bitch!"

Suddenly I jerked awake for real, gasping for breath.

"Woah, woah, woah, honey!" Michael sat up with me as the gasps turned into sobs. He attempted to touch me but I jerked away.

"Okay, honey, take it easy. What's wrong?"

_Me! I'm the one that's wrong!_

I remained silent, rocking myself a bit to try to calm down. It'd just been a dream, a bad dream. I hadn't really raped him. He'd explained that already.

So why did I still feel like I had??

Lightly, Michael laid a hand on my bare back.

"Jesus, you're shaking so bad."

Unable to stand it, knowing I didn't deserve him, I got out of bed.

"Honey! Where are you going?"

I wanted to go to our spot, alone, and stay there, alone, until I perished, but I never even made it out the door before Michael grabbed me, shut the door, and backed me up against it.

"Talk to me," he said urgently. "What is wrong?"

"I'm still convinced I raped you, thus I don't deserve you. Let me go."

Michael heaved a sigh as he looked at our feet. Then he grabbed me in a tight bear hug.

"Your subconscious dreamed about it, didn't it?"

I said nothing.

"Sweetheart, for the love of God, you have  _got_  to stop torturing yourself like this! I thought you understood last night! You really, seriously  _did not_ rape me." He pulled back to look at me.

"Then why does it still feel like I have?" I shot at him.

Here he let out a half laugh.

"I don't know, Ky. I'm trying desperately to get you to see that you are not a fucking monster. I thought I  _had_ last night but your brain is like a dog with a bone. It just won't let go."

Lightly I ran my thumb along his beautiful bottom lip.

"You're so beautiful," I said in a half sigh.

"So are you," he replied.

He took my head to hold it in place when I tried to shake it.

"So. Are. You. Kyler." He repeated his voice full of determination.

So I met those golden brown eyes of his and suddenly memories of our life together thus far started playing in my mind. There was no specific order, but in every single one of them I saw the same look in Michael's eyes then that I saw now.

Love.

Affection.

Completion.

Happiness.

With that, I finally believed him. I  _hadn't_  raped him, I  _hadn't_  become a monster, I  _did_ deserve him, and I was just as beautiful. I wondered how in the hell I could've forgotten that so easily. How had I gotten so lost so fast? Either way, I was back now, and more determined than ever to never let this shit happen again. It was far time for me to gain control over this stupid depression I had.

He smiled as he felt it.

"It's about damn time. Welcome back, sweetheart."

I hugged him.

"I love you so much," I murmured.

"Baby, I love you too."

I could feel his immense relief and realized how scary it must've been, watching the love of his life torture himself over something he hadn't even done, unable to just make it stop.

"I'm sorry I scared you," I said then.

"Oh, my love, you worried me more than you scared me. It's okay. We're okay. We got this."

I nodded. Of course we did. We always had in the past.

We showered together and he immediately noticed how I still kept my distance.

"Kyler, come here," he reached for me. I hesitantly put my hand in his and moved closer as he gently tugged me towards him. It was when he then immediately put my hand on himself that I started to freak out.

"Hey," he put his other hand on my cheek, "it's perfectly okay. You can touch me, Ky, really."

I still didn't feel comfortable about it so I still moved my hand away and turned away from him to get the body wash.

I heard him sigh but he said nothing else.

In the bedroom just as I was about to leave after getting dressed, Michael caught my hand again, and thus my attention.

"Are you ever going to touch me again?" he wondered.

I moved in closer, took his face in my hands, and softly kissed him.

He smiled from the contact, but to my surprise said: "That's not what I meant."

I met his gaze, and he saw it in mine.

"Why?"

"I'm afraid I'm going to hurt you now."

His eyebrows came together to convey his confusion.

"Honey, you've never hurt me in the past, no matter how rowdy we got."

"Things can change."

He held a hand to my cheek.

"No, my love, you mean  _you_ can change. You think you're going to become bad?"

I shrugged.

"Alright. We're tabling this for now because frankly I'm hungry, but this is not over." He leaned in and kissed me. "Come on." My hand in his, he led the way out of the room.

After breakfast, Michael started to peak my curiosity.

"Arielle, could we possibly borrow your car for a bit?" he asked of my mom.

"Sure thing, sweetie," my mother replied instantly.

"But don't you have to work?" I asked her.

"What am I, chopped liver?" dad asked, drawing my attention to him. He grinned at me. "Last I knew, kiddo, I could drive just fine."

I smiled weakly at him. "Okay, fair enough."

I saw the concern in his eyes despite the smile on his face.

"Thanks, guys. Ky," Michael held out a hand for me.

"I'm going with you?" I asked him.

"You're the reason I'm even doing this."

I didn't like the sound of that but I didn't want to stall things between us anymore so I took his hand and silently followed him out. As I soon found out, we drove to every spot we'd ever visited in this town, and in every single one, Michael helped me remember all the good things I'd done for him in each location. The last spot we visited was our spot. We got out of the car, but didn't walk all the way to the beach, just enough to see it.

"And this is where it all started. You saved my life twice on this beach, Kyler." He turned to me. "You see, honey, never once in our relationship have you ever brought me any harm. You've brought some seriously intense feelings, you've brought me pleasure so mind-blowingly awesome I actually ended up screaming, but never once, have you  _ever_  brought me pain upon touching me. Every touch has been gentle, and full of love. Every touch has brought me pleasure, and in some cases orgasms. My point I'm trying to get you to see is you don't have it in you to hurt me. You are too pure to ever bring me pain, and that's why I know you never will." He stepped towards me, hands on my waist. "So please, Kyler, trust yourself the way that I do."

"I want to relearn," I told him as I trailed a finger down the front of his chest. "I don't want to be nervous."

"I think we can manage that." He led the way to the car and within a couple minutes we were back home. My parents were at work, so nothing stopped us from going upstairs.

Except him.

"I want to do it down here," he told me.

I swallowed. "But—"

He pulled me in close. "It's exactly what we need to regain our rhythm."

"O-okay. Wh-where?"

"Right here, Ky." And his eyes said it all. But I had to be sure.

"Are—"

"You have my total consent," he murmured, leaning in to kiss me. My hands slowly made their way down his back and then cautiously up under his shirt. He lifted his arms so I could take the shirt off, and it was then my brain transitioned easily into giving me exactly the info I needed to love him. The first sigh that half-moaned out of him told me I was exactly on the right path and pretty soon after that, I saw what he'd been getting at. I always did know exactly how to take care of him.

Michael let out a delirious-sounding laugh after our rather big finish.

"Now that's what I'm talking about!  _Ohh._  So glad you're back." He gave me a squeeze. "Now do you see?"

"I do," I told him. "Thank you for being so incredibly patient."

"Mm." He pressed a kiss to my head. "You make love to me like none other, so the wait was well worth it."

I watched his chest and stomach as his breathing calmed, and marveled at how incredibly human he was. I trailed my finger down the very center of him, which caused his breathing to hitch.

"Baby," he murmured, his tone saying it all. I was turning him on again. Instantly I stopped, smiling slightly.

"Sorry," I murmured back.

"I'm fully willing to go again, just let me rest a minute."

I moved my hand back up and rested it over his heart. As usual it beat strong and steady.

"Michael," I said in a soft sigh.

"Kyler," he replied in the same tone. Two halves of one amazing whole.

We went a second round a little while later. A storm started up outside towards the end. It was still going when we finished our shower and dressed so Michael led me out to the gazebo (it had a roof), and there he sat in one of the loungers, intending for me to sit with him. I didn't object. We just sat there in peaceful silence watching the storm pass through. It was a wonderful day for us as we settled back once more into our natural rhythm.

Pretty soon, it was Sunday, March twenty-first, the concert was tomorrow, so I decided (since we had school) to present the gift to him that night. My parents watched with smiles as Michael slanted his gaze at me when I handed him the jewelry box. It was time he got a taste of his own medicine.

"What did you do?" he asked me.

"Just open it, Michael," I told him.

"I don't trust it."

"Michael."

He sighed with a roll of his eyes. "Oh, alright." Upon opening it, and discovering its contents, he let out a loud gasp. "NO WAY!"

I broke out in a wide smile as he stood up holding the tickets at eye level, completely fangirling.

Then he slowly looked at me.

"How in the world did you know?? I don't think it's ever come up."

"I overheard your conversation with mom one night. Besides, it wasn't all me. They're the ones that paid for it."

"Oh come here you wonderful, beautiful, lovable, gorgeous human being!" He grabbed me in a hard hug and before I could adjust, he had his lips on mine in a passionate kiss. I struggled to catch up but before I could he was suddenly over hugging my parents, and then he was back over to me kissing me again.

"Thank you," he murmured reverently when he pulled away. "This is...I can't even...ugh." He hugged me. "I'm so blessed."

I held an arm around his waist and a hand at the back of his head.

"Fucking Journey," he said in awe. "Journey. Oh my god."

"Breathe, honey," I reminded him softly, triggering memories from me at the Bon Jovi concert. I felt his body relax as he dutifully forced air in and forced it back out.

"I love you," he told me then.

"I love you," I replied. He pulled away then, gave the tickets to my parents, and then led me towards the stairs. None of us were shocked.

I was excited for the concert that would occur at seven in the evening tomorrow. I wanted to see how happy it made him.


	23. Chapter 23

_The concert:_

Michael was staring in awe not at the currently empty stage but at me while we waited for the band to arrive. I kept trying to turn his head towards the stage, and he kept turning it back to me.

"Honey, you're going to miss them if you spend the entire time staring at me."

"But you thought to do this."

"And they made it happen," I told him, mentioning to my parents. I felt badly that he was giving me all the credit, though my body felt great.

"But it was YOUR IDEA."

"Sweetheart," I took his face in his hands and kissed him, "your favorite band is about to—" Right then the lights went down, the stage lit up, and I immediately saw I had nothing to worry about. Michael instantly returned his attention to the stage, where it stayed for the duration of the concert. It was amazing watching this legendary band perform, but it was more amazing seeing the look of pure ecstasy on Michael's face, knowing I had had a small part in creating it. There were a couple of times that he teared up, and he'd certainly kissed me more than enough during the half time, but none of that compared to what he did after we got home. He pooled every single bit of knowledge he had about what drove me crazy during sex, and all in one bout he used every single bit of it. I think I'd reached the point of screaming, but I was too utterly lost in the endless waves of intense pleasure to really notice.

That was before we'd even gotten on the bed.

He'd had to pick me up and put me on it because my legs had held right up until one of the strongest orgasms I'd had yet arrived and then they gave out entirely.

I had thought that was it for the night (and I was perfectly okay with that) but then he did it all again...and now I couldn't fucking move. He was snuggled up against me, and I felt wave after wave of pure ecstasy rolling off of him, each wave intermingled with his love. He was so beyond happy.

I knew the feeling.

"So, you clearly hated the gift," I said as soon as I could find my voice again.

"Worst gift ever," he replied, playing along.

We chuckled.

"Seriously, though, Kyler, I can't thank you enough."

"Michael, honey, trust me, you definitely thanked me enough. Oh!" My whole body jerked upon his light, light touch, and then a shudder ran through me. "Michael," I said in a half-moan-half-whine. He was looking real damn pleased with himself, and I had to admit it was so fucking adorable.

"Just checking."

I sighed, holding him tighter.

"You're very welcome," I told him.

The next morning my parents looked at us with shock as we walked into the kitchen for breakfast.

"Holy shit you ARE alive!" My father exclaimed to me, grabbing me in an overdramatic hug. "We thought he was killing you last night."

I cast an affectionate look towards my lover as my father let me go.

"I think he damn well tried." God knew I could've sworn my heart was going to give out when the last orgasm slammed into me. I was glad it didn't, though.

Laughter filled the kitchen as Michael mock-glared at me. I went over to him and gave him a big ol' kiss.

"My body is still humming," I told him softly. His fake anger-charade dropped in an instant as pride took its place.

"Oh yeah?"

I playfully rubbed my nose against his, resulting like always in another kiss. I had no idea why he loved that, but he did. He pulled me in close, and started to slide a hand down to my ass.

"Okay, you two, we heard it all last night," my mother chimed in, "we don't need to see it."

Obediently, we pulled away, and got on with our day. Nothing spectacular happened, for which I was grateful.

Things stayed peaceful and calm (with nights often full of great pleasure) until May, when prom started becoming the talk of the school. It was to be held on May twenty-fifth, a Friday, which was a couple of weeks from today (May eleventh), and I had decided I was going to ask Michael.

He beat me to it, though.

"Ky, will you go to prom with me?" He asked during dinner.

I spat out my water, which got me some very weird looks from both him and my parents. Promptly I wiped my chin and looked at him.

"Damn it," I said then.

Michael looked confused.

"Did you not want to go?"

"No, I want to go. I just wanted to ask you."

His expression cleared.

"Did you have a lot planned?"

"I was going to ask you if you wanted to take a moonlit walk down the beach and while we did that I was going to drop the question. I don't really consider that a  _lot_  planned but, uhm," I cleared my throat, "yeah."

Michael was staring at me like he was falling in love with me again.

"I wish I'd known," he said.

I laughed at the irony.

"Sweetie, if you'd known, it wouldn't have been a surprise and I wanted it to be one."

"See, this is why I don't like surprises. They tend to backfire."

I reached over to place a hand on his cheek.

"Look, it doesn't really matter who asked who. It matters that we go together. So, yes, I would love to go to prom with you. Besides, we can still take that moonlit stroll tonight."

He smiled, turned his head into my palm, and kissed it. Afterwards, he turned my hand over, kissed the wedding band resting there, then held that hand, used his free hand to tuck under my chin, leaned over, and kissed me.

And that was how we got roped into the toughest night of our lives.

The moonlit stroll is where it all started. We were halfway down our beach, arms around each other, chatting softly as the water lapped at our feet, when we suddenly noticed that we weren't the only ones out here. It was when we got closer that Michael's body suddenly stiffened.

"Michael??" I asked, looking urgently for the red to blossom.

"That's...that's my ex."

My ears heard the words but it took my brain a moment to realize he hadn't been shot or anything. Slowly, as his words sunk in, I looked up at him.

"Wait, what?"

He looked at me.

"I moved here at the beginning of the year. Before I did, I lived on the mainland, in Connecticut. That guy there is the guy I'd been dating before the move."

"An-n-nd now...he's...here?"

Why did I feel uneasy about that? Michael just stared at the guy, utterly shocked.

"Think he knows this is the town you moved to?" I asked then, suddenly desperate to get my husband to stop staring at another guy (which was so unlike me).

Michael didn't hear me, and it was then he left my side and headed over. That's when the jealousy started.

"Charles?" He asked. The guy looked up, looked confused for a moment, and then that very same look of shock crossed his face.

"Michael?!"

I  _hated_ hearing him say the name of my beloved, and I had absolutely no idea what was driving me to be like that. I was never jealous. Tons of guys had hit on my husband before and I hadn't given two shits about them. Why the hell was this guy different?

 _Because your husband has a past with him,_  my little voice answered.

"Charles!" Michael exclaimed.

"Michael!" Charles exclaimed.

"Shoot me!" I exclaimed under my breath, watching as the two hugged. More than anything I wanted to stand between them and keep fuck face away from my husband. Instead, I stood silently where Michael had left me, stewing.

Michael didn't forget me for long.

"Oh! Charles, you  _have_ to meet my husband."

"Husband??" Charles said with utter shock.

I barely bit back my sarcastic retort; I had wanted to say:

_Yeah, fucker, husband. As in not available! As in he married ME and I'M the one that gets to have sex with him every night, not you! You no longer have a shot! Back off!_

But instead I just pasted on a smile and slowly made my way over when Michael mentioned at me to do so.

"Yup." Michael looked at me when I still hadn't reached them, and some of his smile started to fade. "Sweetheart, why are you walking so slowly?"

"Don't want to fall," I lied.

In his eyes, especially when his hand touched mine, I saw that he knew. He looked mostly puzzled but hid it as he turned to face Charles (who I saw was one of those muscular types with killer good looks to boot) and let go of my hand.

"Charles, this is Kyler. Kyler, Charles."

Charles was cordial enough, smiling at me and offering his hand. Unable to resist, I put in a little electricity into my hand which gave him a zap when our hands touched.

"Ouch!" he exclaimed as he jerked his hand away.

Michael forced a laugh while I just stood there, trying to look sorry.

"Must be static electricity," I said then.

Charles shrugged.

Michael gave me a look that screamed  _stop it_  when Charles looked down at his hand again.

It was hard to be regretful at the moment. Seriously, the jealousy was permeating every part of my brain. I knew how I was acting was wrong but I just couldn't get myself to care about that when I had fuck face to deal with.

"So, Michael," Charles said then, while my mind mocked the way he spoke, "do you like it here in Hawaii?"

"I love it."

 _Because I'm here_ , I wanted to say. I stayed silent, and Michael took my hand suddenly which was probably a smart thing to do because I was sorely tempted to fuck with this guy's head and I'm not completely convinced I would've been able to resist that.

"Are you here to stay?" Michael asked him then.

"I dunno, honestly. You know how my parents are. They constantly move from place to place before they get attached."

_Good, get the hell out of here then._

"Do you live around here?" Charles asked then. He seemed to sense danger coming from me because he kept glancing my way uneasily.

"Just up the street, in fact."

"We live together," I chimed in.

Charles forced a polite smile.

"Well, that makes sense, given that you're married." He looked back at Michael. "I can't believe that, man."

Michael's smile returned. "I know, but sometimes it just hits ya."

"Right, right. Well. I should probably head home."

"I think that's a good idea," I chirped.

Michael gave me a  _dude, what the fuck?_ look. At Charles he chuckled awkwardly.

"I think he's just tired. He's not normally so rude." He nudged me upon saying that last word. I remained silent.

"It's alright, man. I hope to see you around."

I heard all too much what he hadn't said in that sentence.

_Without your husband._

They hugged again, wishing each other a good night while I stood off to the side wishing someone would shove a stake into my chest. When we were alone again, Michael turned to me.

"What the hell was that??" he demanded.

I looked at him.

"What was what?"

"Don't bullshit me, Kyler. You were rude to him; you kept making little snide remarks, and let's not forget that you flat out shocked him!"

"I didn't hurt him that badly, Michael."

"I don't give a damn! Why would you shock him at all?! What is wrong with you?"

"Nothing is wrong with me."

"Clearly  _something_  is wrong because the Kyler that  _I_  married would  _not_ treat someone like that!"

I decided to drop the façade I was attempting to put up.

"Look, I don't know why the fuck I don't like that guy but I don't, okay?"

"No, not okay! He is not a threat to you! I married YOU, Kyler. I chose you!"

"I know that! I can't make it go away!"

"Well you sure as hell could've tried a lot harder!" Michael turned and walked off.

"Oh, so that's it, is it? End of discussion when YOU say so?!"

Michael didn't reply, and I had no other choice but to follow.

Dad looked up when we walked in. Michael sent a brisk good night to him and started up the stairs.

"Now who's being rude, Michael?!" I called up to him.

"Not even close to the same thing, Kyler!" he shot back. A few minutes later I heard a door slam.

"What the hell's gotten into you two now?" Dad asked.

"That's exactly what I want to know, too, dad, because if I recall, you told us the morning after that glow-y thingy happened that nothing would bother us again and yet here we are fucking fighting!"

"WHICH IS YOUR FAULT!" Michael yelled.

"IF YOU'RE GONNA EAVSDROP YOU MIGHT AS WELL JUST GET YOUR ASS BACK DOWN HERE!" I yelled back.

No reply.

Dad was looking mightily startled.

"Okay, kiddo. You and me, gazebo, now."

I followed him out. He turned to me.

"Now,  _calmly_ , explain what's happened to you tonight? You went off a very happy couple and come back fighting. You were only gone for a little over an hour."

"That's plenty of time for shit to go wrong, dad."

"Not for you two. Not usually."

I knew he was right, but I was still reeling from the intense, illogical jealousy that was burning throughout my entire body.

I let out a sigh.

"We were fine until we ran into his ex from the mainland. Michael had moved here shortly before he crossed my path, I guess, and I guess the ex's parents, since Michael and his family were still here, decided to give it a go or something. I don't know."

"Okay...so...I don't understand the problem. Did the ex act like he still had feelings for Michael? Did Michael act like he still had feelings for the ex?"

"Well...no...they hugged and, and were shocked, you know, when they spotted each other, and they just talked, and it I guess was friendly but I just..."

"You got jealous."

I nodded.

"Son, that's not like you."

"Dad, I know that!" I snapped, frustrated.

He held up his hands.

"Okay, take it easy. It doesn't surprise me that you guys are proving different than the usual couples fate puts together."

I groaned. "So we  _are_  going to have problems. Great."

"Honey, listen to me. Every other relationship on the face of the fucking planet has problems. It's how relationships are supposed to go. It's almost like fate is trying something new with you guys by making your relationship more normal."

"Normal?" I echoed. "Normal?? Dad, what fucking part of my relationship with Michael is  _normal_?"

"Actually, son, it's all normal. It's just on an accelerated timeline."

"Well, fine, the romance part of it, sure, and the sex and shit but not the powers! Not the way our bond strengthens our powers as it itself strengthens! The way we met wasn't normal. The way I take one look at his ex-boyfriend go into a jealous rage is not. fucking. normal!"

I sat down and buried my face in my hands.

"Could you repeat that part about the jealousy?" Dad asked then, sounding incredulous. I looked up at him warily.

"I can't explain it, dad. There was absolutely, positively no reason for me to be jealous of this guy, and yet I was nearly blind with it just because he existed in the same space as Michael and I. I shit you not, I took one look at him and I hated him. You know me. Michael knows me. Everybody who knows me knows  _that's not me_."

Dad was looking concerned.

"Well, son, I think that's your intuition—your power intuition—perking its ears. Maybe it's premonition. Maybe he's not a problem now but he might be in the future. Maybe you're just being overprotective. I don't know, kiddo, but, and I'm sorry to say this, I do know it's a very ugly side of you, and Michael doesn't deserve any of it."

"I know that, dad," I said with a groan. "Do you honestly think I  _like_ doing this to him? Jesus. All this relationship seems to be lately is me doing shit to him and him just being a god damn saint through it all."

"Well, I think this time you really hit a bad sore spot because he sure isn't being a saint about this right now. I've never seen him act so hostile towards you. And I think you need to go upstairs right now and talk to him. Son, you owe it to your husband to work through this. Tell him what you told me. Tell him you don't want to feel this way. I bet you anything that he doesn't know that."

Dad was right, of course, so I nodded.

"You might also want to take a few minutes to cool off that temper of yours before you go up there, though and right now, I need to go check on my wife, so if you're good here..."

"I'm okay," I said quietly.

He kissed my head.

"It's not the end of the world, Ky, just because you and your husband are fighting."

I smiled meekly.

I knew that, too but I also knew we were running out of time and having to deal with shit like this was sapping it away even faster.     


	24. Chapter 24

After a few minutes, I headed upstairs to our room. Michael didn't say anything when I knocked on the door and since the bedroom doors didn't have locks I opened it. He was still up, but he was sitting on the edge of the bed staring at some pictures in his hands, his cheeks wet with tears. He didn't acknowledge my arrival, so I just focused on closing the door softly. When I turned back, he was just moving the top picture to the back, revealing a new picture beneath. Fresh tears started down his cheeks.

I went over to him, and gently sat beside him on the bed. I took it to mean a good sign when he didn't shove me off or scream at me to leave. It was then I saw (and I'd figured as much) that the pictures he was looking at were from our wedding.

"We were so happy," he said then, "so innocently happy."

"I think we still are," I replied softly.

"Yeah?" He looked at me. "That fight says otherwise."

I shook my head.

"One fight doesn't determine the whole relationship, and frankly, I  _was_ being a major asshole, so, ya know."

He laughed at that and I could tell he hadn't wanted to. He weakly shoved at me.

"Damn you, Ky, don't make me laugh."

"Look, Michael, I don't know why I went into such a jealous rage about your ex-boyfriend, and I don't know why I didn't bother to hide it. Either way, I'm really sorry. I honestly hate feeling like that."

He looked surprised.

"You hate feeling jealous?"

"Yeah, immensely."

"Cos you looked like you were enjoying yourself."

I held his gaze.

"I did?"

He nodded, and sniffled.

"That's the part that pissed me off the most. You didn't look sorry at all. It was like...I was looking at the face of my husband, but I couldn't find him anywhere. Your eyes were yours without you in them, and that scared the hell out of me."

Since I was on his left, I could play with the hand that he wore his wedding band on, so I gently took the pictures out of his hands, set them behind us, and then picked up his left hand with both of mine, keeping my gaze there. His eyes closed when I brought that hand up to my lips and kissed the ring there. A couple more tears ran down his cheeks.

"I wish I could give you a reason as to why I was so jealous," I began, "but it literally was me taking one look at the guy and going into a jealous rage for no apparent reason. I'd go back and kick some damn sense back into my ass because being jealous like that hurts you, and you don't deserve that. I keep causing problems in this marriage and you keep being a saint through them, and I keep swearing all to Heaven and Hell that I won't keep being a problem and then I keep being a problem. I may be human, and those may be human traits, but, Michael, that's  _too_ human. That's  _too_  many problems. We are running out of time, and I just...I don't know how to stop. I hate that I can't go back and stop myself so that you don't have such weight on your shoulders."

He looked at me then, and in his expression I actually saw relief.

"This is going to sound weird, but that is exactly what I needed to hear."

Oh, lord.

"Why on Earth would I enjoy bringing you pain?" I asked him softly.

Michael shook his head.

"No, I don't think that. It's just...some guys...they do this kind of stuff, and they don't even realize the drama they keep creating, and they just continue to take advantage of the guys who stay patient and fix things, and I worried that you were becoming like that, but...you aren't. You're painfully aware of what you're doing and you're trying like hell to stop it. The  _fact_ that you keep identifying what you've done wrong and then going through and trying to fix it, it reminds me why I love you so much. So, I'm really, really glad you came in and talked to me, because I was getting scared, and I just...I'm glad you're still you."

I wrapped my arms around him as fresh tears started once more in his eyes.

"The next time we see him, I'm going to apologize, and we're going to do this right." I pressed a kiss to Michael's head.

"Thank you," he whispered.

I held him until his tears ebbed, and we decided it was time to go to bed.

The very next day we saw the ex-boyfriend again on the beach. My very first thought was  _this fucker keeps invading OUR SPOT_. Michael felt the jealousy start and stopped short.

"I'm not doing this if last night is going to repeat," he said seriously.

"I never said I could stop the jealousy from occurring, Michael. I did promise I wouldn't let it get the best of me and I fucking meant it."

"Fine, but the second you say something rude to him, I'm fucking done."

I nodded.

"That's more than fair," I said.

"And stop being so fucking understanding. It makes it hard to be mad at you."

I smiled slightly.

"Sorry about that, too," I said then.

He sighed, swore under his breath, and then put his arms around my neck and kissed me. Then he was on his way towards his ex, and I was a few steps behind.

His ex noticed him first, and looked happy until he spotted me a couple seconds later. Then his smile faded, which was just straight fuel for my jealousy.

 _Okay, you jackass,_ I thought to myself,  _Michael has given you the whole world and this is not the way you pay him back! Fucking get a grip! It is just one guy. One fucking guy. Get the hell over it. You promised him you'd be nice so go over there AND BE NICE!_

So, steeling myself as I reached the pair, I put on the warmest smile I could muster, and extended my hand.

"Hi. I wanted to deeply apologize for how rude I was to you last night. That was really shitty of me, and I thought maybe we could start completely over? I'm Kyler Wirim."

Seeming to relax, Charles took my hand. This time there was no shock, and I warmly shook his hand as he introduced himself to me.

"I'm Charles Brike."

"It's nice to meet you, Charles," I said as our hands released.

"You too," he replied.

I looked at Michael who was looking at me with such joy in his expression. I was still jealous as hell, but I had kept my promise and that meant the world to him.

"I told you I would," I told him.

He grabbed my face and kissed me.

"I love you," he said.

"I love you, too," I replied softly mere seconds before he was kissing me again.

My jealousy wanted this to be a moment to really mark my territory but I ignored it, hugging my arms around my husband like any other time and kissing back until he pulled away. I let him go, and decided the pair could do without the awkwardness of me being there, so I excused myself and headed towards the refreshment hut. I was violently craving a pepsi right then, just to keep my hands occupied because the moment I had decided to give the pair their own privacy, my jealousy had instantly started throwing a tantrum, and it was trying to tap into my electricity power. I held strong...barely.

Michael glanced over at me a few times throughout their chat, and I just smiled at him like everything was totally fine, hoping that with the distance he couldn't sense the bloodcurdling screaming going on in my mind. Eventually they parted ways, and I watched as Michael approached me.

When he was close enough, he grabbed my face and kissed me passionately.

I dropped my soda which hadn't had the cap on it but I didn't care. I put my arms around his neck and kissed back with everything I had because I was not about to question this. When the kiss ended, Michael fervently thanked me.

"For what?" I asked him.

"You kept your promise, you didn't let the jealousy control you  _and_ you even gave him and I space to chat by ourselves. That proved that you trust me."

I had my hands in the back pockets of his jeans.

"What kind of marriage would we have if we didn't trust each other?"

He clearly agreed. "And thank you for fighting the jealousy. That can't have been easy."

That was  _so_  the understatement of the year.

"It was okay. You deserve to be happy and you seemed pretty content to be catching up with your ex so, ya know, I do what I can."

"I love you so much, Kyler," he said, leaning in again.

"I love you, too, Michael," I replied shortly before our lips met.

"I want to repay you," he said softly.

Oooh, I knew what that meant, and after the ugliness of fighting the jealousy, I could use the beauty that came with us making love.

"Bedroom's a little far," I told him.

He smiled. "Oh, honey, we're not doing it at home. Come on." He led me to a part of the beach that not many people frequented due to it being mostly woods. It was here he got me up against a tree, his lips on mine and his hand already in my pants. I didn't stop him one bit.

At home my mom was out but dad had the day off so he looked up from the kitchen island when we walked in.

"So, how'd it go, boys?" he asked.

We were still giddy from the sex so our usual filters were off.

"Well, he did a  _fantastic_  job battling that ugly jealousy monster," Michael said.

"And to thank me for it," I said, "he fucked me in the woods."

Dad did a spit take which made Michael and I start laughing.

"Oh, uh, that's great, guys." He coughed and went to get a paper towel. "Next time I'm just not going to ask." He left the kitchen dabbing at the coffee now on his shirt.

I turned to Michael and gave him a big kiss, then asked him what he wanted to do next. To my surprise, he said homework.

"Homework?!" I exclaimed.

"Yes, honey, homework. Remember? We had school yesterday, and we brought some home with us? It's due on Monday."

"That's what Sunday is for."

"Tell you what. I'M going to go upstairs and do my homework. You are free to do as you please. Okay? But I must tell you, I was planning on rewarding you some more if you did it today so..." he trailed his finger down the center of my chest, then my stomach, then boldly cupped the crotch of my jeans and gave a little tug before he turned and headed up the stairs. I saw dad standing in the hallway looking like he was wishing he was anywhere but here. I gave him an awkward smile and ran over to the stairs.

As promised, when I finished my homework around the same time Michael finished his, he shut the door to our bedroom, turned on some music, and started to strip tease. Just as he got into his underwear, he started to undress me. When down to wearing nothing but underwear myself, Michael gave me a lap dance. When he saw that I couldn't take it anymore, he got off me, got on his knees, and had me in his mouth. That's when it was all interrupted by  _him_.

"MICHAEL!" Dad yelled up at us. "SOMEONE NAMED CHARLES IS HERE TO SEE YOU! HE'S VERY UPSET!"

Michael pulled away as I uttered a low groan.

"God damn it!" I snarled.

Michael was obviously torn, and I knew in the long run it'd be better if I just let him tend to the guy I hated more than fucking anything.

He was watching my expression, waiting for me to say yes or no.

I heaved a sigh.

"Go tend to him. But Michael, you fucking owe me."

He smiled, gave me a kiss, swore he'd pay me back, got dressed, and headed downstairs. As the door closed after him, I looked at myself, sighed, and went to grab the tissues and the lotion. It was the only choice if I was going to prevent killing the fucking bastard that was currently stealing my husband's attention.

After that unpleasantness, I dressed and started down the stairs. Dad was in the living room, and he could feel my still-lingering fury from a mile away, so as both my feet touched the floor after the last step and I saw where my husband was, my father leapt up and got right in my way as I turned the corner; he placed his hands firmly on my chest.

"Son, that's not a good idea," he said.

"Why, are they fucking in there?"

He looked perplexed.

"What? No, they're not."

"Well, are they kissing?"

"Kyler, that's your husband. He wouldn't fucking cheat on you."

"Yeah I know so then why is it a bad idea for me to go in there?"

"Because you and I both know that you're still furious, Michael no doubt suspects it, and right now that fury is not going to help anyone. Go outside, walk it off, come back in when you've calmed down. That's the only way to get through this situation without any more problems."

I suddenly felt like a little kid again, being told to calm down during a tantrum.

...I suppose this was pretty much the same thing.

"Fine," I said with a sigh. "It's true I want to kill the bastard," I muttered.

"Yup. Outside you go," dad said, urging me towards the door.

Mom came home about twenty minutes later and saw me sitting alone on the porch swing.

"Hi honey," she said as she joined me.

"Hi, mom," I said quietly. She could tell I was really not happy, and like mothers do, wrapped me in her arms and started rocking the swing.

"What are you doing out here by yourself? Are you and Michael fighting again?"

"No, I'm out here to prevent me and Michael from fighting again."

"Oh, sweetheart, what's wrong?"

"His ex is in town, apparently, and I for some reason go into this insane jealous rage whenever the fucker is around. Well, he just interrupted me and Michael beginning to have sex and that pissed me off royal so dad sent me out here precisely so I wouldn't kill the fucker because I really would zap the little shit, and I've been out here for twenty minutes and the jealousy isn't going away and the fury isn't going away and I'm just so SICK OF IT!" To my surprise, tears started up.

"My poor, poor baby. What'd your father say about the jealousy?"

"He doesn't really know. And, like, I brought up that stuff he told me and Michael that one time with the golden light thing, remember, and he said that meant he and I wouldn't have any more problems and here we are with a big ass problem and dad seems to think maybe fate is trying to make our relationship more normal or something."

My mom sighed.

"I love your father dearly, I do, but he is so clueless sometimes. Honey, it is true that fate has a hand in this, but it's not to make your relationship more normal."

"It's not?"

She wiped a few of my tears away.

"It's a test of strength, of durability, of will. Fate will, with each couple like this, have the ex of one person cross the path of the couple wherever they live, and then fate will infect the other with a jealousy so profound it's impossible to ignore. Your father and I went through this, and I was the one that got infected. It would seem when the test is over that the one who wasn't infected loses all memory of the incident, while the one who was infected keeps the memories but they become faded enough so they don't interfere with the rest of the relationship."

I looked up at her.

"Is this trudging up old feelings?" I would utterly hate myself if my own jealousy had stirred up her old jealousy and thus torn her and dad apart, but I needn't have worried.

"No, sweetheart, it's not. Because your father and I passed, and part of the reward for that is the inability for these feelings to ever have an effect ever again."

I sniffled.

"So, I just..."

"You have to trust your soulmate, my darling. You have to fight that jealousy with everything you've got. It's not going to be easy, as I'm sure you've already experienced, but you and Michael can do this.  _You_ can do this."

"Mom, does fate infect, in the heterosexual pairings, the females?"

Mom gave me a weird look.

"No, Fate is above that kind of thing; gender means nothing. Fate infects the ones who harbor doubts about their self-worth in the relationship in order to teach them that they are exactly everything their partner deserves."

Oh, that made sense; which then brought me to the fact that my mother had been insecure in her relationship to dad.

"You had doubts?" I asked her.

"Oh, good God yes. Everything your father does, he has such a God-like way about it."

I made a face. "I'm kind of grossed out now, I wish I hadn't asked."

Mom laughed and hugged me.

"But you see, sweetheart, you just gotta hold on, and you will hold on because you already have the strength from your past battles with your depression. You and Michael are going to survive this."

"Thank you, mom. I'm going to stay out here for a little while longer."

"Okay, sweetheart. If you need anything just text one of us and we'll come right outside."

I nodded. She kissed my head. After she was inside, I closed my eyes, leaned forward and let out the sobs I'd been holding back. I was honestly terrified that I wouldn't be strong enough. Was this the end to the greatest love I've ever experienced?


	25. Chapter 25

About an hour and a half of being outside, it was starting to get dark. I had calmed down quite a bit since breaking down. I hadn't gone inside yet because feeling this calm again gave me hope, and I wanted to cling to that as long as I could. I was wondering, though, why Charles hadn't left yet.

Then the front door opened and Michael stepped out. I saw the worry on his face until he spotted me on the swing to his left. Then he looked relieved.

"Babe, there you are. What are you doing out here all alone?" He joined me on the swing and I immediately took one of his hands, relishing the contact. I hadn't realized how sorely I'd missed him in the hour and a half I'd spent out here.

"The jealousy got to me again, and dad reminded me that my priority was to protect you so he sent me outside and said I wasn't to come back in until I was calm again."

Michael looked concerned.

"How long ago was that?"

"An hour and a half."

His mouth fell open. "And you still...?"

"No, I calmed down shortly after mom got home. I had another break down and I felt better after that, releasing it and stuff, but I knew if I went back in there it'd just start up again and I just...I'm so tired of getting in your way all the time, and I'm tired of being such a burden, and I just wanted you to not have to fight my stupid irrational feelings while trying to help someone else you care about and I just..." I wiped at the new moisture on my cheeks. "See? I'm a fucking time bomb; only instead of going off once I just keep going off every few minutes."

Michael stroked my hair.

"You truly are the most incredible person I've ever met. Kyler, I admire you so much for the way you're doing your damnedest to fight this, alone at that, just so I can have some peace. But it's also wrong."

I looked at him, astounded. "How can it be wrong, Michael??"

He laid a hand to my cheek and sent some calm into me.

"You are not alone, my love," he said softly. "You don't have to do this entirely all by yourself. If you're struggling with the jealousy I don't want you to hide it from me just to protect me. I want you to tell me. It's not getting in my way, it's not dragging me down, it's confiding in me, it's letting me in, it's letting me help you. Baby, I can help you."

I hadn't remembered that. Fighting this was similar to fighting depression, and I had been fighting that for most of my life entirely by myself.

"It's all I know," I said brokenly, "fighting forces I can't see by myself."

He stroked my cheek, then leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to my lips. "It's time you learn to fight with someone fighting beside you."

"Michael, I need you."

He held me close to him, sending calm into me with every stroke of my back.

"You have me, baby. You have me."

We sat there for a little while, rocking a bit, as I calmed down.

"So, is he waiting for someone to pick him up?" I asked.

Michael sighed.

"He's staying the night, honey. His family is having a really bad time with the move, I guess, and his brother always takes it out on him. I figured you wouldn't want him in our room so he's sleeping in yours, since your parents gave the okay. Now, before you freak out, if this is too much to handle, I have set up a place for you to stay with my uncle tonight if you need."

Briefly I considered it. It'd certainly be easier. Until I remembered what my mom had said about this particular situation. I looked up into Michael's eyes, and my confidence in what I thought to be the right answer grew.

"I'm going to stay. It will be hard, and it is going to bug me all to hell, but I have you, and that's all I need."

Michael was obviously pleased by this.

"So, will you come inside now and cuddle with me during a movie? And yes, he's going to be there."

 _I have you, and that's all I need. I have you, and that's all I need. I have you, and that's all I need. I have you, and that's all I need_ , I chanted to myself.

"Okay, I'll come in."

He gave me a kiss before we stood up. I needed to stretch since I'd been out there for a while, and then I followed my beloved husband into the house. It was obvious on Charles' face that he had hoped I had run away, that he'd get the chance to console my husband, and that he was bitterly disappointed upon seeing that I hadn't been far away. Michael felt the surge of anger within me, and sent some counteractive calm to bring it back down.

 _I have you, and that's all I need,_ I reminded myself, keeping my eyes on my husband to help further. My parents were watching me closely, ready to interfere if I lost my shit, but when Michael looked at me, I saw that he had utmost faith in me, and that really was all I needed.

That night it was hard to sleep. I kept tossing and turning because my brain just would not shut  _up_ about how Charles was sleeping in my bed. Sure, Michael and I had made more memories in this room than in that one, but we had still made plenty in that one for this to really bother me. Michael was asleep so he couldn't calm me down. I grew increasingly concerned that this was going to end bloody when Michael suddenly stirred, woke, and turned over, already alert. Without words he held his hand under my shirt over my chest, somehow realizing that the source of the jealousy came from my heart. It worked in an instant, my whole body relaxing as the negative feelings faded.

"I'm sorry I woke you," I murmured.

"It's okay, sweetheart. I didn't go to bed thinking this was going to be an easy night. I think, though, I know what might help a little bit."

I studied his gaze, confused.

He smiled.

"I believe I owe you something, yes?" he hinted.

Oh!

_Ooh!_

His hand slid down my stomach and into my pants.

"This would be easier without the blankets," I commented.

"You're right." So he threw the blankets off us, slid off the only piece of clothing I wore, and then proceeded to put my entirety into his mouth, without gagging.

"Holy Christ!" My god that was impressive, and so incredibly sexy.

He had been right; finishing what we'd started earlier helped a whole god damn lot.

In the morning when I awoke, however, the blissfulness had weakened and the jealousy was surging in fast. Michael wasn't in the room. I don't know where he was, and jealousy was making me very irrationally angry about that fact. Deciding it was best to locate my husband to prevent a bloody massacre I slid out of bed, impatiently threw on some sweats, and headed out towards the stairs. I stopped dead cold when I was exactly parallel with the room in which  _he_ was sleeping. Michael, who had apparently just gone downstairs to get something to drink, had appeared at the bottom of the stairs and saw me standing at the top, body facing the stairs but head turned to the left, glaring at my bedroom door. My hands were crackling with steady electricity. He knew the spell had me entirely in its grasp; I wasn't getting out of it without help.

"Ky, sweetheart, listen to my voice:  _you do not want to go in there. That is a dangerous path. Fight the temptation."_ His voice got louder as he got closer and the power of the voice became stronger. " _Kyler. Listen to me now. You can fight this. You are stronger than it. I have faith in you, honey, I believe in you. You are not alone. Please, baby. Break free."_

I blinked as the power of his voice washed over me, which indeed broke the spell. Gasping suddenly, I jerked back. Michael rushed up, set his thermos on the floor by the railing, and in seconds had me in his arms. I was hyperventilating, completely freaking out.

"It's okay, it's okay, shhhh. You're okay. It's okay, baby. Shhhhh."

And then I started crying because why the fuck not?

"I can't do this," I sobbed.

"Yes, you can, Kyler. Baby, you  _are_ strong enough." His voice wavered a bit and I knew he was just as scared; of me or for me, I wasn't sure. At the moment I was too consumed with losing my shit to really care about the specifics.

A lot of energy must've gone into what had gone down because suddenly my parents were there, asking if everyone was okay.

"We're okay, we're okay," Michael said. I was beyond words at the moment so Michael continued to speak for the both of us, though he struggled a little bit to keep his voice even and soothing. "He's just freaking out."

"What happened?" My father asked.

"Well, I'm not rightly sure. I left him peacefully asleep in bed and went to go get some coffee. Since it's about eight in the morning I figured I'd make a pot for everyone so I did that, and when it was ready I got some for myself and then headed back towards the stairs. When I reached the bottom and looked up, I saw Kyler standing at the top. His body was facing the stairs, but his head was turned towards his bedroom door, and he had the most vicious look on his face. His hands were completely engulfed in electricity. I think I only barely stopped him in time. Whatever this jealousy thing is, it's not human because this is trying to turn him into a killer."

I started crying harder. I was scared of myself, scared for Michael, scared for my parents, and even scared for Charles. I was fucking terrified.

"Shhhh," Michael murmured, but his voice caught and I felt the sob escape out of him. I wasn't sure if he was crying out of fear he felt himself, or if he was crying because I was crying out of that same sheer terror. I felt a hand rest on my back and slight gasp. I started to panic that my body was still a live wire and I had just seriously shocked whoever had touched me.

"What is it, honey?" My dad asked.

"Put your hand on him. He's shaking something horrible."

Another hand went on my back, and my dad also let out a gasp.

"Oh my god. Michael, let him go for a minute."

I uttered a low pitched whine.

"Guys, I can't," Michael moaned. "Not now, he needs me."

"Just for a second, I want to see something," dad said.

I think my parents had to sort of force Michael from me. The second he did I dropped to the floor, convulsing violently.

"Kyler!" Michael yelled, dropping to his knees beside me. The convulsions were so bad it took him a solid minute and a half of barely holding me against him for them to start to ease up. I felt no pain with them, just then sheer terror that wasn't going away. Once they became manageable, Michael slowly maneuvered his way back until he was against the wall. It was there he stretched out his legs, pulled me more completely into his arms, and held me against him. From this angle, I saw the tears on his face. This was scaring him just as bad as it was scaring me. A look at my parents showed the same thing. I wanted to apologize for scaring them so much but I was still convulsing too much to speak clearly.

I could also tell by the look on mom's face that this went beyond what she had experienced, and I theorized that it was because, as my dad had mentioned earlier on in the year when this life had first started, my powers are stronger due to the purity of the genes since the both of them were gifted. Michael, too, had pure genes, so his powers were stronger. Thus our test went further than theirs had, because we were stronger than them. So this was entirely new territory for them.

I didn't think staying in this house was going to be a good idea. Not when whatever this was determined to keep going until Charles was dead. Michael was right. This was not normal human jealousy and I had absolutely no damned idea how to beat it.

It took a solid hour (thank god it was Sunday) for the convulsions to calm into shaking and for the shaking to calm down into trembling, and for the trembling to stop altogether. I had stopped crying halfway through, but the terror still remained.

When the worst was over, Michael and my parents breathed out a collective sigh of relief.

"Why the long faces?" I joked weakly. "You look like you saw someone spazzing out."

They all gave me a look, and they all chorused:

"Not funny, Kyler."

I took a deep breath then as I snuggled back against my husband. I was so tired.

"He's sorry he's scaring us all so much," Michael said then. "He wishes he could make it stop."

"It's okay," my father said.

"It's still the same thing I went through," my mom said, "it's just on a more powerful level."

"Wait, what?" Michael asked. As mom told her story, I decided to rest my eyes for a bit. So...so...tired...

Suddenly someone was shaking me. Michael was saying my name, his voice strained with desperation. I was fine! I was just sleeping! But...why couldn't I open my eyes?

_"He's not waking up!" Michael said, his voice conveying his panic._

_My mom started sobbing._

_"Baby, please," Michael said after a sob, "please wake up. It's not time yet. Please!"_

_Soon Michael was freely sobbing._

_Suddenly dad let out a gasp._

_"Wait, guys! Look! Look!! He's fine! He's breathing! See? Look how his chest moves. He's just unconscious. His brain probably couldn't handle the strain and is just trying to protect itself."_

_"Oh, thank God!" My mother exclaimed._

_Michael pressed trembling lips to my head. "Please come back to me, baby. I need you."_

Those sounds faded, and then, just like that, I was engulfed in blackness, feeling such sweet peace. I couldn't tell if I was dead or alive, but to be free of all the constantly battering of emotions was so nice. I drifted here for a while until a figure appeared to me. I couldn't tell if it was male or female, it had the features of both in its face, and it stopped before me.

 _You have to go back,_ it said.

 _Back?_ I asked.

_Your brain has shocked itself into a coma, and your body is now confused. Your brain believes it's time to die, but it isn't. You need to go back._

_I'm dying?_

_Yes. You need to go back._

I wasn't ready to die. It wasn't time! We still had four months left!

_You're right, Kyler, it isn't time and you do have four months left. That is why you need to go back. Go back._

Clearly I was running out of time and couldn't just keep asking questions. So I asked one more.

_I want to go back. How do I go back?_

_You have already done it. The figure reached towards me, and pressed two fingers against my forehead._

I suddenly opened my eyes and blinked against the brightness that harshly contrasted the blackness of where I'd been. It was hard to see at first, but I could hear just fine. Michael was the first to notice I was awake, since he was still holding me.

"Kyler! Oh my god, he's back! Guys!"

Mom was still sobbing, but managed to get out a few words about how relieved she was. Dad just let out a heavy sigh.

I focused on Michael as my eyes adjusted. I couldn't tell how long I'd been gone but it was long enough that his eyes were red and puffy from crying, which he was still doing.

"How long?" I asked quietly.

"About an hour. You scared the hell out of us."

I put an arm around his neck in an attempt to pull myself up and it somehow ended up as a fierce hug between us. I felt the desire to tell them what had happened to me, but thought if they were this scared now because I'd slipped into a brief coma, they would be even further freaked upon finding out I had almost died.

 _You need to tell them,_  the voice from before said.

But—

 _You need to tell them,_ it repeated.

Well, I wasn't about to argue with the voice that had pretty much saved my life.

The voice didn't reply after that, and I focused upon the current moment. Michael was pressing fervent kisses all over my face, and it brought a giggle out of me. Everyone fell silent and stared at me with shock.

"Did you just giggle?" Michael asked.

I felt my cheeks grow warm.

"I can't help it. When you kiss my face like that it's insanely adorable and kind of ticklish and it just...it just happens. I wasn't laughing at any of this, I swear to god."

"Baby, given what just happened, I think I speak for all of us when I say we relish hearing you laugh." Michael then proceeded to kiss me all over my face again, which again caused me to giggle. He kept it up until I was freely laughing. I didn't stop him because I knew this was the cure to everyone's terror. Laughter was always the best medicine.

After a while he grew tired and he stopped, but it'd been enough. Everyone was calmer. That's when he asked it.

"What was it like?"

I suddenly couldn't bear to look at him as I knew the words I had to say would hurt him, and my parents, but I had no choice. They needed to know...for some reason.

"Well, it was completely black, and at first I could hear you guys freaking out, but I couldn't open my eyes, and then after a bit that sort of faded until there was just nothing. You'd think that'd be scary but it was so peaceful. Emotions couldn't reach me in this place, and I thought it was okay to stay there for a while, to recuperate, until this figure approached me. I couldn't tell if it was male or female, it looked like it was both, or neither, but this...this thing...it was human shaped and dressed in modern clothing...anyways it told me I needed to go back."

Mom let out a horrified gasp, and I braved a glance at Michael's face. There wasn't just horror in his expression there was the utter agony he had felt upon watching me die in his vision. I realized this was hardest for him because in a way, his vision had  _almost_ come true. Still, I had to continue the story. I had to tell it all.

"Naturally, I was confused as to what was happening, and the figure explained that my brain had basically shocked itself into a coma, which was confusing my body. My brain took this to mean it was time to die." I paused again at Michael's sharp intake of breath. In a minute I would be the one soothing him completely, but I couldn't just push through, not without trying to console him a little bit now. "I'm so sorry, baby. I know this must be tearing you apart but it told me I have to tell you guys this and I kind of have no choice."

He nodded. "S'okay. M'okay," he tried to breathe his way through it and ended up closing his eyes, tears flowing freely down his cheeks. My god the pure agony in his expression alone...

 _You have to tell them_ , the voice chirped up,  _all of it._

_I am, please, I really am._

_Okay._

I took a deep breath and continued the story.

"And it told me again that I have to go back. I basically repeated back that I was dying, but phrased as a question because I didn't believe it. It said yes, and that I need to go back. I started to freak out because I wasn't ready to die. It wasn't time yet. We still had four months..." Michael was freely sobbing now and I knew I couldn't wait any longer. We switched places, with him now crying into my neck on my lap. I now knew how he'd felt an hour ago when I'd been the one breaking down. My throat was starting to close up around the lump that was in it and tears were forming in my eyes.

It didn't help that my parents were crying too. Their first-born baby boy had almost died if not for some figure that had stopped it with one short conversation.

"You need to keep going, son," my father urged as he held my mother against him.

This was a lot more difficult than I had realized it'd be, but, yes, I had to.

"So, I guess it could hear my thoughts because It then told me that I was right, that it wasn't my time yet, that we did have four months left. It said that is why I needed to go back, and it then repeated those words: go back. I knew I had maybe minutes left and couldn't keep asking why so I said I wanted to go back and asked how do I go back, and it told me I had already done it; then it reached for me, touched my forehead with two fingers, and the next thing I knew I could open my eyes again and here we are."

Michael was having trouble breathing right, so I focused on him, pressing a kiss to his forehead and shushing him. I then took his hand, placed it over my heart and told him to just focus on the fact that my heart was indeed still beating. I told him to listen to my breathing. I told him to focus on the fact that I was very much alive.

It worked because after several minutes his breathing started to calm down and return to its normal rhythm. Shortly after that his sobs started to wean, then his tears, and by then pretty much everyone had stopped crying.

"Jesus fucking Christ," Michael croaked.

I think all of us agreed.


	26. Chapter 26

Towards the end of the second hour since this whole ordeal had started (it was now almost ten in the morning), Michael and I had both calmed down enough to realize our asses were fucking killing us. Mine was because I was sitting on a hardwood floor; his because I had skinny legs that didn't have much "padding" on them. We all transitioned to downstairs. My dad made a fresh pot of coffee, and while we were waiting Michael decided to assault my lips with his. I could feel he was still on the brink of crying, that anything could tip him back over. I didn't blame him. Of course, my parents must've fully realized how close I'd come to dying because all of a sudden they were hugging Michael and I despite the fact that we were kissing. Of course we pulled apart when they hugged us, but still.

"If you ever doubted how much we love you," Michael told me then, "this ought to put those doubts to rest indefinitely."

Tears welled up in my eyes as I felt the absolute truth of his words. Michael kissed me softly, and then rested his head over my shoulder. We stood in one massive group hug for so long it sort of became uncomfortable. That was when my parents finally let go. Michael, however, did not, and I understood exactly why so I held him tight to me and started softly singing our song. He uttered a low whine in the back of his throat and buried his face against my neck. Fearing I had just triggered him again, I stopped.

"No!" he whined even louder. "Keep singing. It was calming me."

Oh!

I started up again, and sure enough his body relaxed in my arms.

"Coffee's ready," dad informed us awhile longer than it took the coffee to be made.

Michael pulled back intending to get coffee, but then looked sort of panicked as he stepped away from me, and in the next second he was right back in my arms.

"I think it's going to be awhile before we can be apart," I told my parents, "so if you could do us a huge favor and pour some for us, that'd be amazing."

They did so without complaint, and it was then suggested that maybe Michael and I would be more comfortable on the couch, so we made our way over. My parents sat together in the oversized armchair while I lay on the couch with Michael on top of me. He held his ear to my chest, listening. Every so often he'd take a swig of his coffee, as would I and my parents, but none of us spoke. Something that traumatic, we needed the peace and quiet.

So there we stayed for another hour, and at eleven is when Charles got up. Of course, none of us realized that until he came down the stairs. In seconds the room transformed from a peaceful silence into a strained one. Charles was oblivious and headed straight for the kitchen. Michael looked at me, looking terrified again.

"It's probably not a bad idea," I told him, annoyed as the jealousy began to stir. I had hoped almost dying would've cured it, but  _apparently not_!

He got up quickly, and just as quickly I walked with him towards the front door. Charles had spotted us and the minute he spoke I broke out into my super run, Michael matching my stride because he held my hand. His voice had literally caused the jealousy to, I swear to God, roar within my mind. It felt more like a beast than some stupid emotion. At our spot I stopped, and dropped to my knees.

Michael of course started to panic.

"Michael, I'm fine!" I told him. "I'm okay. Look." I held his chin to make him see. "I'm alive. I just needed to get off my feet. This is wearing me out so fast. I'm not getting enough time between attacks to really recuperate. Not to mention neither are you."

Michael sighed, helping me back to my feet.

"We can't keep running, and we can't live in that house if he's in there."

"So send him home."

Michael studied my gaze. "I'm sure your parents are taking care of that, but that won't stop him from showing up again, and again. His brother is relentless."

"Michael, I love you, truly, and it's so sweet that you care like this, but don't you think  _maybe_ you should put what this is doing to your own husband  _before_  your ex-boyfriend's feelings?!" I hadn't been able to keep the edge out of my voice, but I figured I was kind of entitled since I had almost died because of this shit.

Michael clearly didn't appreciate me putting him between a rock and a hard place, and I didn't appreciate putting him there, but that is where we were, and if we kept on this path either Charles was going to die, or I was.

This way saved the both of us.

"Please," I begged him. "I don't want to die. I don't want Charles to die. Please, Michael. Help me."

He sighed, and nodded, his pride retreating.

"You're right. This is the best way."

"I think I'm going to stay here for a bit."

Michael looked panicked at the thought of parting so I told him he didn't have to talk to Charles right away. We ended up cuddling on the beach with our backs against our rock.

Suddenly my phone rang. Curious, I dug it out of my pocket and answered it.

"Hello."

"Run," my mother said.

"Wha--?"

"Charles is headed your way. Kyler, run! Do you hear me?! RUN!" She hung up. I looked at Michael.

"He's coming. I have to go."

Michael pressed a hard kiss to my lips. "Please don't die," he begged me.

I touched his cheek, said: "I have no plans to," and then was gone. Turns out my super hearing could span over a mile, and listening to my husband chat with his ex from a mile away did nothing to trigger my jealousy. Thank  _God_.

Charles was the first to speak.

_"Michael?"_

_"Hey man," Michael said coolly, though I could tell he was barely hiding the panic in his voice._

_"Didn't you come here with your husband?"_

_"He got a call from a dear friend of his who needs his help. I guess the friend was dumb enough to check out some abandoned house, fell through some rotted wood, and can't get out."_

_"That was nice of him to help his buddy like that."_

_"Kyler is a nice guy."_

_"Could've fooled me; I'd say he was jealous."_

_"He is jealous, Charles."_

_"What?! That's ridiculous. He's the one you married."_

_"Yeah, but he's still insecure. He takes one look at you and can't help wondering what the hell I see in him."_

_"Well, I was kind of wondering that same thing."_

Uh...what?

_Michael didn't reply at first, but when he finally did, he sounded angry._

_"Charles, there is a whole helluva lot more to a person than how they look on the outside. I see in him purity, strength, courage, the sweetest soul, and the kindest heart. He will treat others how they treat him."_

_"He took one look at me and decided he didn't like me. I hadn't treated him like anything!"_

_"Yes, he judged you by your outside but it was because he could tell you were doing the same thing to him. He's been judged like that his whole life. He doesn't put up with it. You and I didn't break up because I was moving, Charles. We broke up because you're too superficial. You're too toxic. And I'm sorry you're going through shit with your family but my husband is having a really hard time with you around, so I need to ask you to stop coming by."_

_"Are you shitting me right now? He doesn't have someone beating the hell out of him! He has his life fucking MADE!"_

_"You don't know a god damned thing about his life," Michael said, definitely angry now, "you don't know the hell he's been through! The world does not revolve around you! You are not the only victim!"_

_"You know what, fuck you, Michael!"_

_"Thanks but I'm going to leave that to my husband."_

_I heard a thud like a punch making contact, and then silence. After a few short minutes, knowing I was listening, Michael calmly said I could come back._

Upon my arrival, Michael didn't wait for me to reach him. Instead he took off at jog towards me, and grabbed me in a bear hug when we met.

"Thank God you're alright," he crooned.

"And thank you for doing that for me," I told him. "You showed a lot of strength and a lot of courage, and I'm sure that hadn't been easy."

Michael shrugged.

"It actually wasn't too difficult when I saw he hadn't really changed."

That reminded me. "Where'd he hit you?"

"He didn't. I hit him."

My eyes went wide. "Wait, what?"

"He attempted to hit me but for all his muscles he never learned how to fight so his attack was obvious. Plus, I was pissed that he was the reason you had almost died so it kind of just happened."

"Oh my god." I lifted his right hand and kissed the knuckles. Then I met his eyes. "I want to thank you."

He saw what I meant, and he started to grin.

"Bedroom's a little far," he said quoting me from yesterday.

I smiled. "Oh, honey, we're not doing it at home. Come on." I led  _him_ into the woods, and for the first time in the year we'd been together, I tried deep throating, did it without gagging and Michael was astounded. He told me I'd been the first to do that to him and I was overjoyed.  _Finally_ a sexual experience he hadn't gone through before that I was able to give him. Victory!

It and the rest of it were great, like always.

We arrived home around two or so. My parents immediately came over and hugged me, then they hugged Michael, then they hugged the both of us together.

"Alright, guys, it's okay," I told them. To my mom I said, "Thank you for the warning."

"Did you have enough time?" she wondered.

"Plenty."

"I told Charles off," Michael informed them, "Kyler reminded me that as sorry as I felt for Charles, I had to put my own husband first because this was literally killing him."

"I'm sorry you had to do that," my father said, "though Kyler was right."

Michael gave me a squeeze when I murmured sorry at him, too.

"No, it's okay, it was easier than I thought it'd be because the guy is still a fucking asshole."

My mom gave me a look.

"What?" I asked.

"That explains the intensity of the jealousy. The greater a jerk the ex is, the greater the jealousy."

"Then he must be the worst of all assholes because Jesus Christ..."

Michael rubbed my back. "I should've known, really."

"Well, let's just hope he stays away," my dad said. "I don't know about you guys, but I think almost losing Kyler once was once too many."

Mom and Michael agreed, I as well.

Charles  _did_ stay away from our home, but it was harder to keep him away at school, because we all had to be there, no choice about it. At least during the school day, Michael was with me whenever Charles showed up so he could just send some calm and prevent a catastrophe. The days slid by one by one, and slowly Charles was forgotten as prom became the main focus of our attention. Gay couples were allowed at this prom, and unlike with our wedding because there hadn't been a mandatory dress code, we rented tuxes. It was deemed we weren't allowed to see the other in our tuxes until the night of the prom, and we were both so wholly impatient. We would've said fuck it, and shown each other days before if my parents hadn't been smart little cookies and hidden our tuxes in their room. So, day by day we lived and we loved and soon enough, prom arrived.

My parents were nothing if not determined so they made one of us dress in their bedroom, and one of us dress upstairs. Michael wasn't all that comfortable being in my parents' bedroom (not that I was either but still) so he went upstairs. He still managed to dress faster than I, and was waiting for me when I walked out.

I stopped short when I saw him in his beautiful black suit with the white flowered boutonniere, and the look on his face matched mine upon seeing me in my white suit with the black flowered boutonniere; always the embodiment of yin and yang, of two perfect halves of a whole. We met in the middle of the room, marveling at each other.

Mom was snapping pictures like crazy, a couple for which we posed, most of which were just us as we got ready to go. Soon enough we were on our way.

At the prom we had our picture taken again for the yearbook, and made our way into the main dining room. In the middle of which was a giant chocolate fountain.

"Jeez," Michael and I chorused. We looked at each other, and smiled.

"Well, we're here," he said.

"Indeed. You know, I used to hate the idea of prom."

This intrigued Michael as we found a table and sat down. "Oh, really?"

"Yup. I always felt it was too much pressure to find a date in time and it just never seemed worth it to dress up and shit just to go dancing."

"It changes when you go with your husband, eh?"

I leaned towards him, our hands together on the table. "Immensely," I told him. We kissed, someone flashed a photo, and then we decided to get something to eat. After that, we went to find the dance floor. It was down a hallway, and immediately in the room I spotted the exit to a patio outside. My social anxiety was starting to kick up so I headed that way first. We passed a couple of teachers who said hello to us, we said hello back, and it was outside where I finally caught my breath.

"Okay," I said then, "not good."

Michael moved in close, put his hands on my face, and reminded me that all I needed to do was focus on him. In seconds I melted against him; our lips met after that. When I opened my eyes again, I saw he had very smoothly maneuvered me back into the dance room.

"You smooth motherfucker," I murmured.

He simply smiled and kissed me again. We danced off and on for an hour or so, and had just been sitting at one of the tables set up towards the back of the room (near the patio entrance) making out like some other couples when all of a sudden the jealousy flared out of nowhere.

"Ohhh no," I moaned.

Michael pulled back and looked me over.

"What's wrong? Do you have a boner?"

I looked at him. "Right now I wish that's what it was. No, this is far, far worse."

"Michael!" Charles exclaimed from the entrance to the room. I closed my eyes briefly, wishing like hell this wasn't happening.

"Aw, hell," Michael muttered. "Okay. Listen. You stay close to me at all times and you do not under any circumstances let go of my hand."

"Wasn't planning on it, babe," I replied.

We stood as Charles came over to us. Michael's hand was tight on mine and he was furiously sending calm into me, which might seem kind of dramatic but my jealousy was having a fucking field day with this. Michael and I were only barely keeping it at bay.

"Charles," Michael said calmly.

"Fancy seeing you here," he said, ignoring my presence altogether. My breathing started to become strained. Somehow, someway the jealousy was growing in strength instead of dissipating, and fear was right on its heels. It was a lot of negativity all at once, and that's coming from someone who battles depression on a daily basis.

"Of course I'd come to the prom with my husband. It's our senior year; it's the last chance we get to do this."

Charles looked at me then, not even bothering to hide his disdain for me.

"Bet you're just thrilled I'm here."

I barely refrained from sending a bolt right into his heart.

"Unfortunately," I said through clenched teeth, "it's a public domain."

Charles returned his attention to his ex.

"You are going to dance with me."

Michael barked out a laugh. "I don't fucking think so."

"Oh, but you will." He slid a look my way. "Sometime." He moved away from us. Michael was glaring after him.

I was losing my grip on my control.

"Michael," I said urgently. It was all he needed to turn and head towards that patio entrance. We moved a ways away from the building, and I bent over with my hands on my knees just trying to fucking breathe.

"This is going to end bloody," I told him.

"Should we just leave?"

"Then he wins."

"Honey, you're basically telling me he's going to die if something doesn't change. We can't kick him out, so the only choice is to...why are you looking at me like that?"

"Well," having straightened, I moved in closer and started playing with his tie, "I remember when we had sex that it staved off the jealousy really well." Slowly I looked up into his eyes. "There are condoms in the car." We wouldn't do it in the car, it was far too small, but surely there was a place we could find.

His Adam's apple bobbed.

"We...we...I...uh..."

"Please?" I whispered. "I don't want to leave because of him."

Michael sighed. "Oh, what the hell?" He led the way once more.

We grabbed the condoms, found the perfect spot, and had our wicked way.

"I love sex," I said happily afterwards, as we made our way back towards the building.

Michael, who had his arm around my waist, laughed.

"I'm right there with you on that," he agreed. We stopped, shared a kiss, and headed back into the dance. The sweet, sweet effects lasted pretty much the rest of it. Of course, it was at the end of it that it turned into a night from hell. 


	27. Chapter 27

At the end of prom, around midnight or so, I had decided (because it was a long drive) to go to the bathroom. Michael, who didn't need to go, waited for me by the car. All was well until I came into full view of the car upon coming back and saw someone just pulling away from kissing him. My heart let out a wail of agony as it broke upon seeing it was Charles. Neither were aware of my presence as I showed up.

"Wow," I said quietly.

Michael looked at me with horror.

"Wait, Ky, no! It wasn't—" I sent a mild shock to his groin as I passed, flat out punched Charles, and walked right on by, tears already streaming down my face. In the year that I'd spent with Michael never once did it occur to me that he'd cheat on me.

Not once.

What a god damn fool I'd been.

I ran the rest of the way home, made it to the front steps, and collapsed to the ground as the agony washed over me. My parents rushed out upon hearing my cries, and both of them knelt to hold me.

Michael arrived about an hour later, and I was only just starting to calm down. My parents and I had moved to the porch swing, where I laid with my head on my mom's lap and my feet on my dad's, the both of them rocking slowly back and forth to soothe. I still hadn't told them what had happened, but they were parents, and they could guess. When Michael appeared at the base of the steps, my dad was down them and had Michael slammed up against a nearby tree in two seconds.

"What in the HELL did you do to my boy?!"

"I didn't do a god damned thing!"

"LIKE HELL YOU DIDN'T!" He tossed Michael towards the steps. "Look at his face, Michael! You tore him the hell apart!"

Michael's gaze met mine, which just started up more tears as I looked away.

"Sir,  _WAIT!_ " I looked back and saw my father frozen, furious, with a bat in his hands. I wondered where he'd gotten the bat. Michael sighed. "He needed the bathroom so I waited out by the car and Charles approached me while he was gone and then the fucker grabbed my face and planted a kiss on my lips and THAT, Kyler," he looked at me, "is what you saw. I didn't kiss him back, I swear to God."

 _Yeah, right,_  I thought.

"You didn't look like you were fighting it all that much," I croaked out.

"Get the fuck out," my father snarled at him. Michael looked between us until dad roared at him to go. Michael cast a look my way that screamed at me to believe him. I just closed my eyes and curled up tighter. I know what I saw. When I opened my eyes again, Michael was gone, and a fresh bout of sobs started up.

I cried myself to sleep that night, spent all of Saturday in bed refusing to move, cried all day and again to sleep that night, and then finally Sunday couldn't stand all the uncertainty suddenly going through my mind so I got up, showered, got dressed, and told them I was going to the beach. Because I knew Michael was there.

"You're going to talk to him, aren't you?" my mother asked softly.

"I think..." I swallowed at the lump still in my throat. "I have to." I was utterly terrified where that discussion was going to lead, but I couldn't stay home and wallow about it.

"Oh, baby," she wrapped me in a hug. "I hope you're wrong about what you saw."

"Me too, kiddo," dad said on the other side of me. "I liked Michael. He was wonderful to you. It doesn't seem like something he'd do."

Hence why I was going to talk to him which I couldn't do if they didn't let me go; upon saying so, they released me, and I headed out.

I took my time getting there, and when I arrived and saw Michael my heart gave a little jump for joy, a residual effect of our life together so far. In my mind I kept wondering how in the hell we could love so much and have gone through so much only to have fallen short by four months? Everything about our relationship screamed that  _this_ should not have happened, which is why I was beginning to doubt what I'd thought I had seen.

Michael saw me then, and my heart wailed, desperate to forgive him, desperate to stop hurting, knowing he could make it all go away. My mind, though, would not let what I'd seen go.

That very war in my mind had tears welling up in my eyes.

Michael was tearing up, too.

I stopped a few feet away from him.

"Michael," I said softly.

"Kyler," he said softer still.

"Kill me," Charles mumbled. I stiffened then, suddenly spotting him standing off to the side about three feet behind Michael.

"No," I whimpered.

"Wait, wait," Michael's hand touched mine. "Wait. Just...he's...he's here to explain."

"He's here to brag, you moron," I snapped.

Michael tightened his grip on my arm.

"Please," he begged, his voice chock full of pain. " _Please listen_."

Tears ran down my cheeks but I stayed put, and upon seeing this, Michael waved Charles over.

Charles was smug just like I'd known he would be.

"Who's winning now, asshole?" he shot at me.

I immediately tried to turn and walk away but Michael said one word in the voice that had me staying.

" _Please_."

The jealousy was nowhere in sight, only pain. I just stood there, freely crying, watching as it tore Michael apart.

Michael suddenly grabbed Charles by the back of his neck and forced him to look at me.

"Look at his face, you fucking jackass! Look at the pain! He doesn't fucking deserve to feel like that!  _Tell him the god damn truth!_ "

Charles' smug look faded as the voice's power washed over him and he had no choice but to obey.

"I saw you go into the house, and I saw Michael standing alone by the car, and I knew that was the perfect opportunity to make my move. So I took it. I went over and Michael rudely told me to go away, I told him no, he gave me one of his sexy angry looks, and I just couldn't help myself. I grabbed his face and I kissed him. What you saw as us pulling apart calmly was him actually trying to shove me back and me refusing to let go. He was fucking furious. After you left, he kicked me in the balls, got in the car, and raced off after you."

Slowly I looked at Michael, who let him go, shoving him down into the sand.

"I know what I saw," I said meekly. "Voice or not."

"Then let me show you," he begged. He was desperate. That part was kind of soothing.

"Can't be any worse than how I feel now," I muttered at him.

He moved in, placed his hands on my cheeks, and started to lean in.

"Michael," I warned him, placing my hands on his wrists with a slight electric current to reiterate my point.

"I have to kiss you to show you."

"I..." I was not okay with this.

He was ignoring the electricity I was sending into him.

"Baby,  _please_ ," he half-whined. "I can't live without you in my life and I need you to see that I am not fucking lying. I didn't kiss him, I swear to God! Ple-e-ease?"

I took a deep breath as well as I could with the busted heart and gave one short nod. I closed my eyes as his lips met mine in a trembling kiss.

It was then I saw it all.

_"Charles," Michael's voice said coldly as I stared through his eyes at Charles standing before me. "Go away."_

_Charles had this wicked, determined look on his face._

_"You can't honestly tell me you don't feel something for me, big guy." He attempted to touch Michael's crotch but Michael, used to these antics knew what was coming, looked down in time to swat Charles' hand away._

_"Leave me alone, Charles! I don't feel anything for you at all! You're nothing but a fucking bully! It has to be your way or the highway and—" Suddenly Charles lips were on Michael's, though I could feel it as if they were my own, and Michael had indeed immediately felt not pleasure but fury. Michael's hands shoved at Charles but Charles hung on, grinning that same evil grin._

_"Wow," I heard myself say._

_Fury became replaced with utter heartbreaking agony as Michael then looked at me._

Michael broke the kiss then, tears rolling down his cheeks.

"Oh," I said the relief so staggering that I almost fell down. " _Ohhh_ ," I moaned softly, resting my hands on my husband's chest. "Oh, Michael."

"I tried to tell you," he said softly. "I'm so sorry."

I looked up then into his eyes, into the eyes of the guy I had  _known_  loved me. I was so glad to be so fucking wrong. Words failed me as the rush of emotions burst forth from my broken heart, and all I could do was kiss him, kiss him again, and again, and kiss him some more. I just wanted to kiss him forever. I wanted to feel his lips on mine, his hands move over my body, I wanted to listen to his breathing starting to hitch; I wanted to feel his hardness against mine as passion fueled the both of us. I wanted every part of him against every part of me and I wanted to feel it  _all_.

He seemed perfectly alright with that.

Sometime later we started to cool down a bit, and as we pulled away, I looked around, shocked.

"What's wrong?" Michael asked.

"How are we still standing up?" I asked him.

His eyes never left mine as he laughed softly.

"That's a good question, but not one I'm particularly worried about right now."

I met his gaze again and it was my turn to apologize.

"I'm sorry I didn't give you a chance."

"You had to have been there right as it happened; I understood perfectly what you were thinking. I should've...I..."

I touched his face.

"I think what we both need to realize is he would've taken the shot the millisecond you were alone. We can't spend every second together."

"Still. I..."

"Michael, I forgive you. I do. I really do. I want this behind us. I want to move forward. I just want to be madly in love and, and happy and I just want you back."

It'd only been two days but it'd felt like months.

"I'm yours, so utterly, completely, wholly, endlessly yours," he vowed.

I believed him.

"Now show me," I told him.

This time we went home to make love because this was something meant for a bed. Neither of my parents stopped us, for which I was grateful.

As we made love through the morning, I felt my heart coming back together with every touch, every stroke, every kiss, every sigh, and every moan. It became sealed as we came together at exactly the same time and another bright golden light flashed around us.

"Michael," I murmured.

"Kyler," he murmured back. We kissed, and that was the end of it. The worst was over. We had survived.

We had passed.

Too soon it was time to face my parents, because no doubt they'd have questions.

When we finally made our way out of bed, showered, and dressed, we headed downstairs. My parents were out in the gazebo cuddling. I felt Michael's uneasiness (after all, my dad had nearly killed him the last time they were in the same place), and took his hand in both of mine.

"I won't let him touch you," I told him. "You're mine, Michael. We have four months left and I'm not letting you go a day sooner."

That helped him.

Of course, my parents shocked us all to hell.

"Michael!" They chorused with smiles on their faces.

"Welcome back, kiddo," dad said.

Michael cast a nervous glance my way, and then slowly looked back at my father.

"So...you're not going to kill me?" he asked.

"Oh, believe me, kid, I wanted to. I wanted to chase you all over hell's creation just to scare some god damn sense into you. But then my wife forced me to tend to our son, and with it I calmed down and realized there had to be some mistake. You don't go almost a full year loving someone the way you obviously love my son only to cheat on him. It just..." he shook his head.

 _It didn't make sense_ , I agreed with him silently.

"That's when I remembered about the test," my mom told us. "The ultimate part that really defines the relationship is the misguiding kiss; the kiss that  _seems_ like it's one thing when it's not."

I gaped at her.

"And where the hell was this knowledge when I was bawling my eyes out, mom?"

"I couldn't tell you, sweetheart, you had to find that out on your own. It's obvious you did. I'm so glad for it, too."

I threw my hands up in the air and started back towards the gazebo entrance. Michael followed silently.

I headed to the kitchen, craving coffee of which there was a fresh pot.

"I cannot  _believe_ her! You weren't here to see it but I spent all god damn day in bed yesterday crying my fucking hea—" Michael's lips were suddenly on mine and I lost all train of thought. It was when I let out a soft moan of delight that he eased back.

"Okay, cowboy, don't get carried away," he teased.

I grinned. "But I want to. We have to go to school tomorrow and one day isn't enough to make up for being apart for..." It dawned on me then that it'd actually only really been one full day without him. "Uh."

Michael laughed, and nuzzled my neck.

"You're so adorable," he crooned. "I want to go right back up there, too, but sex isn't everything. I want to  _be_  with you. I want to sit with you on our rock and watch the waves crash to the shore during sunset. I want to take a moonlit stroll through the water. I want to kiss you. I want to hold you. I want to dance with you. I just want it to be us and nothing else. No exes, no problems, no drama, no tears, no anger; just you and me and our wonderful, wonderful marriage."

I checked my watch to see what time it was and discovered it was only noon.

"Well, sunset's a ways away but how about swimming in the ocean?"

He smiled. "Perfect."

I set my coffee cup down and headed towards the stairs.

By the end of the day, we were once more back to our old rhythm, stronger than ever. Charles disappeared shortly after that, and the only things we had left to worry about was graduation and, though I tried not to focus on it, the coming end to our relationship.


	28. Chapter 28

Graduation; I didn't see the huge deal about graduating from high school. I could understand why it's a big deal to graduate from college, but not high school. Michael, bless his beautiful heart, was attempting for the sake of my parents to get me in the mood for the celebration, but not even my beloved could make me in the mood for the day. Most of it was because as soon as we graduated, which would occur on June 29th, we had two months and six days until it was September fourth, day zero. My heart was already starting to crack, and it was taking everything I had not to mope around the house or cry at night.

I knew Michael felt it too, but Michael, ever so beautifully positive, was focusing on how it wasn't here yet. It wasn't far off but it still wasn't here yet. We still had time. That just made me want to cry more, because he was just so fucking beautiful. He was so much more beautiful than the vision had shown, and his eyes more mesmerizing than the vision had shown, and I just loved him so god damn much more than that damn vision had shown.

Still, graduation day came, and I went through the motions. Michael was the only one who had clear insight to what I was feeling. He knew words weren't going to do jack shit, so during the party after gifts he snuck me away to our spot. The sun was beginning to set. It was here we stood. He held me from behind and it was here some of the tears I'd been holding in started to escape. There were no sobs, just tears, and Michael remained silent through it all, even as I turned into his arms and cried into his shirt after the sun had gone down past the horizon.

Those, too, passed, and Michael gave me a soft kiss.

"Ready?" He asked.

I nodded. We headed back. Most of the guests were oblivious to our inner turmoil. I guess some suspected something was wrong, but didn't ask. My parents were the only ones giving us full on sympathy looks. Michael took me through the crowd to the gazebo and it was there we stayed for most of the night, staring out at the blackness, silence surrounding us entirely. My parents left us alone. That was the first night that I had stopped talking altogether.

Michael would chat with my parents every now and again to let them know that I was okay, just depressed, and then he'd continue being with me in utter silence. We still hugged. We still kissed. We still made love. We still danced. We still cuddled. We still held hands. We still went out on dates. Sometimes he got me to laugh. Sometimes I got him to laugh. Every day though, at the end, he and I went to our beach and stood watching the sunset. He held me from behind every time, I cried every time. He started crying with me a few days into this new routine. The days ticked by one by one by one neither of us able to stop it for two months and six days, until day zero struck.

_September fourth:_

Thinking back to when we'd met, I hadn't understood how we'd known our last day was exactly a year from the very first day of our senior year. The bitch of it was we knew the date of day zero, but not the exact time. I think that is what caused me the greatest grief, not knowing all the details. It brought me back to the day I had the vision, seeing the life together but not knowing how we even met.

I opened my eyes that morning, and saw Michael staring up at the ceiling, tears already going. A year that had felt like a lifetime for us still hadn't been nearly enough. Neither of us was ready to say goodbye. That was the point, though, wasn't it? It wouldn't matter how long we had, we'd never be ready to say goodbye. I silently wiped his tears, slid my hand down to his heartbeat.

"Kyler, could you do me a favor?" he said then.

I nodded.

"Please talk today."

I swallowed.

He looked at me then.

"Whoever goes, I don't want it to happen without hearing your voice today. It's been months, baby, please. I miss it."

I hadn't spoken because I'd known if I did I was liable to start crying and never stop, but...this day was going to end in tears no matter what either of us did.

"Okay, Michael," I said.

Two words had fresh tears going in his eyes, and then he had me engulfed in his arms, burying his face against my neck. I buried my face against his and inhaled deeply. His cologne lingered on his skin and I vowed never to forget what it smelled like.

I vowed to never forget what it felt like to hold him in my arms, what it felt like to feel his heart beat against mine.

I vowed never to forget what it felt like to listen to his breathing, what it felt like when he wrapped his arms so securely around me, what his hair felt like, what his kisses felt like, the sweet musical tones that combined to make his voice.

I vowed never to forget how soft his hair was, or how brown. I vowed to never forget the shape of him, the smoothness of his skin, or the little tufts of hair on his chest and on various other areas.

I vowed to never forget his lips, or the shape of his nose, or his perfectly imperfect teeth.

I vowed to never forget how his mouth moved when he spoke, or how little lines crinkled at the edge of his lips and eyes whenever he smiled.

I vowed to never forget his laugh; his incredibly beautiful laugh.

I vowed never to forget how he'd laugh with his whole body, or how he'd hide his face when he couldn't stop.

I vowed never to forget how it felt to make love with him, how it felt to dance with him, how it felt to hold his hand, or how it felt to cuddle with him.

I vowed never to forget how he made me feel so happy, how he made me feel so complete, how he made me feel so safe, how he made me realize I was worth something, how he reminded me that I was so perfectly human.

I vowed to never forget those eyes, and how they would look at me full of endless devotion, endless affection, and endless love.

I vowed I would never forget his light.

Most of all I would never forget what it was to be loved by Michael Steven Cederine.

We lay in bed gripping each other tightly and just crying. When the tears ebbed for the time being and we realized we were still alive, we decided to risk a shower. We were still alive after we'd dressed, so we decided to risk breakfast. My parents weren't around, which I wasn't surprised about. Just because my world with Michael was coming to an end, it didn't mean their world was.

Michael and I stayed close to each other as we made coffee, as we prepared breakfast, as we ate, as we cleaned up. I kept studying exactly how he moved, committing totally to memory everything that worked together to make up my husband; he was doing the same thing with me. 

We still couldn't kiss enough. Each touch still felt like the first one.

We cleared the living room one last time for one last dance to our song. As soon as it started, I started crying, Michael started crying. We clung to each other and still we kissed.

"I love you," I said brokenly.

He swallowed hard, trying to control himself enough to say:

"I love you, too."

"Michael, I don't regret any of it."

He uttered a noise in the back of his throat as he was overcome with emotion. When he told me he'd do it all over again, I was overcome with emotion all over again. Around and around we revolved, vowing how much better we made each other, how amazing the past year had been, repeating how truly, madly, deeply in love we were, and utterly unable to stop fucking crying (though we were completely entitled).

"I loved you before I met you," I murmured then as the memories began to flow.

_Seeing that vision, seeing those eyes of his for the first time on the beach, feeling the terror, avoiding him, watching as he walked confidently through the throng of teenagers as soon as he'd saw I was there, being mesmerized by how he moved, being kissed by him for the first time, introducing him to my parents, cuddling for the first time, dancing for the first time, our first date, wanting to jump his bones all the time, learning how to control my powers, learning how to control my hormones, introducing him to my friends, running into his arms at the end of every school day, flirting with him, laughing with him, kissing him so much, being calmed by him, the night he asked me to marry him, the first time I'd touched him down there during our first shower together, the night I gave him everything I had, the night he'd given me the same, the insecurity, the hope, the intensity of the feelings, the endless kisses, the profoundness of our love..._

_Planning our wedding, watching it all come together for real, being so nervous, being consoled, looking at him in his wedding attire with the same look he stared at me in mine, deciding to walk down the aisle together, fighting through the tears while we said our vows, watching my parents cry during it, watching the audience cry during it, crying ourselves, being so madly in love, hearing dad saying those sweet words, kissing my new husband, leading him down to the beach to watch the sunset, him singing our song, me joining him, our first dance together, our first night as a married couple, going to Ireland, making love so much there, sight-seeing together, swimming together, kissing endlessly, coming back home, marveling at him, loving him, being loved by him..._

They unfolded, so many little moments that wasn't shown in the original vision, and at the end of them, I looked up into Michael's beautiful golden brown eyes and knew completely that maybe it'd been only a year but we  _had_ lived and we  _had_  loved an entire lifetime together. We two complete strangers had come together, overcome fear, and created a love more profound than our greatest dreams. We held each other when the other fell, we picked each other up, we made each other strong, and we reminded each other just how worthy we were.

I touched his wet cheek as I had so many times before.

My ultimate soulmate.

"Thank you for loving me," I told him in a trembling voice. "Thank you for existing. Thank you for putting up with my short comings. Thank you for having faith in me. Michael, thank you for putting me back together."

"Thank  _you_ ," he replied, too beyond words. I kissed him again. I decided if one of us was going to die, it was going to happen as we went to every spot to remember all that had happened between us. I told Michael (it took me awhile to speak that much, sobs kept overcoming me) my plan.

"Good idea...but..." he sniffled and wiped the tears from my cheeks, "it's dangerous for us to drive."

I smiled. He'd forgotten that I had super speed. My smile had him losing it again and hugging me tight against him, which triggered me. Still, I powered through it to tell him my plan, and upon hearing it, he nodded. Off we went.

First to the beach, then to my house, then his house, then to the place of our first date, the place of our second date, the bowling alley, the movie theater, the arena, the library, the high school, the park, back to my house, the living room, the gazebo, the kitchen, the upstairs hallway, the bathroom, my bedroom, then our bedroom.

By the time we reached this point, it was well past noon, and we were still alive. As we were still alive, our bodies were still working, and it was then we used the bathroom, and had lunch together. Our emotions were beginning to ebb. Had something changed, maybe? Had the date been moved? We were starting to get confused. After cleaning up after lunch, we decided to make the best of it, and that involved cuddling while watching Supernatural.

I didn't watch much, though. I focused on committing to memory the way the wedding band looked on his left hand, the way his clothes fit him, the way his chest rose and fell as he breathed. I studied the way he watched the show he'd seen a million times over, still reacting as if it was his first time. I memorized the way his hand would trail up and down my arm absent-mindedly, the way he'd tear his gaze away from the screen to see if I was watching. When he realized I wasn't, he forgot it entirely and focused upon me. I committed to memory the way he'd do that. I felt the familiar surge of hormones as I identified the pooling passion in his golden eyes.

"Do we have time?" I asked him as I felt the desire to make love grow.

"If we die during it, I think that's a win." He kissed me, and lowered me onto my back. He had a point.

As we proceeded, I started noticing every little thing he did that I hadn't noticed before. The way his muscles flexed, the way he breathed, the way his lips felt on my body, the way he'd touch me just the right way, the way I knew the very same thing about his body, his body, how perfectly our bodies moved together, back to the endless devotion in his eyes, the endless passion, the endless love.

We made it all the way to full orgasm, and were  _still alive_. I marveled at the way his body acted during orgasm, how his breathing hitched, how he held me closer, how he let out a sigh once his orgasm passed, I marveled at how lax his muscles went, at how content he seemed. I marveled at the sense of satisfaction I gained making love with him, the sense of completeness I felt with him. We were two halves of an extraordinary whole.

And we were still alive.

"That's a relief," he said.

It really was.

I sighed, ran my hands through his hair. Then he kissed me.

"Kyler, I love you so much."

"I love you so much, Michael," I replied.

"I want to go to our spot," he said then.

All at once it slammed into me.

It was time.

The bliss became replaced with fear. There was no way around it, though, but still I felt the surge of agony begin as we dressed. My body trembled from head to toe (not as bad as the convulsions I had with the jealousy) and I had trouble buttoning up my shirt. I let out a shaky laugh.

"Jesus."

Michael placed his hands on mine, and calmed me down some. Of course, I started crying because that was likely the last time he would calm me down. As I finally got my shirt buttoned up, I grabbed him into a fierce hug.

"Michael. You are my absolute everything. I..." Jesus. Words weren't enough.

He held me tight.

"You've completed me, Kyler. You have healed me." His breathing hitched. "You've given me everything."

Blinded with tears, I still kissed him. "I'm not saying goodbye," I told him.

He shook his head. "Never. I will forever love you."

I rested my forehead against his for possibly the last time.

"Forever," I vowed.

I kissed him for what I figured would be the last time, and then we walked out of the house together for the last time. Michael turned suddenly and stared at the house. I stared at him, wishing like hell I wasn't crying so much during the crucial time when I  _needed_ to see clearly.

"Thank you," he said to the house, and I just  _knew_ he meant my parents for accepting him. I looked up at the sky as I felt the wail that wanted out, which I managed to downsize into a sob. Michael looked at me and I saw the raging agony in his eyes that I felt in my heart. Not having the words to say, I hugged him again. I never wanted to let go but whatever was pulling at us to that beach was persistent as hell. We didn't get more than a minute like this before we were heading towards the beach.

God, I wasn't ready. It was hitting me hard that Michael was going to be the one to go. He could feel it too. With each step we took our agony grew. It was in full bore when we stepped onto the beach. What waited for us didn't shock me in the least bit.

The figure heard us make our way towards the beach, and turned.

His father.

Even worse: his father had a gun.

That confirmed it.

My legs gave out on me as I let out a wail so unlike me. Michael fell with me.

"Baby, it's okay! It's okay, breathe, just breathe!"

"No! It's not okay!" I screamed. "It's not fucking fair!"

He grabbed my face and desperately sent calm into me. With it, I came back from the brink of losing it.

"Now. Breathe." He ordered. His eyes were clearing. What was going on? My breathing started to calm down. I saw in his eyes that he knew something I didn't.

"Michael, what—?"

"Don't you see, Kyler? This is the last test. This is the last chance to kick fear in the ass."

"I...I don't...what?" God, I couldn't breathe; it hurt so much to breathe.

"We are stronger than we were when we first encountered that asshole. I know you feel it. We've already witnessed that when we touch we tap into the strength of our bond. There is no greater strength. He doesn't fucking have that. We can defeat him, but only if we don't give in to fear. Baby, I have spent a year of my life loving you because I knew in my soul that it was the right choice. I spent a year of my life overcoming the fear of this moment because it meant experiencing the most amazing, profound relationship in the world. I know we can do it again."

I was having difficulty not letting fear win, though.

"He has a gun, Michael. You know what that means."

"No. I know what the vision  _said_  that means. Our life has been drastically different than that vision. Baby. In that vision, we never got married. We never went to any concerts. We made love in your room, not mine. We never went to Ireland. We never fought our way through that jealousy test. We are stronger now than we were in the vision  _because_  we lived a life that went so far beyond the life we were shown we'd have. We took that vision and we said  _we can do better_  and we  _did_. We did so incredibly much better. That gun isn't going to hurt either one of us and I know if you look past the fear that you'll see the absolute truth of that. Come on, baby. Fight it. Overcome it. Trust me, honey."

With those last three words, I found one last ounce of strength I needed to shove the fear back. When I did, utter understanding surged in. My tears stopped. My agony stopped. My panic attack died in an instant. Strength returned to my muscles. And I fucking stood up on my own two feet once more.

"Yes!" Michael exclaimed, clapping. "I knew it!"

I looked at him, full of absolute confident determination.

"Let's go show that motherfucker what real strength is." I held out my hand to Michael, who took it.

I knew it all now.

The lesson in all of this was not just to overcome fear and let ourselves fall in love knowing we'll get hurt. It was to also trust that our strength would be greater than that of our worst enemy, to have faith that our love, our bond would see us through the darkest of times. I wasn't afraid anymore. I wasn't insecure anymore. I knew we could, because we already  _had_.

So, hand in hand, we walked up until we were perpendicular with our rock where we stood determined, strong, and utterly unbreakable before his father.

"Dad," Michael said.

"Son," he replied. For now the gun remained by his leg, but I knew to watch it, because I knew of one more power that I had. It would save Michael's life.

"Is this really necessary?" Michael asked then. "All because I'm gay?"

"I'm sorry, son. I'm doing this for the good of the tribe. All you had to do was fuck one woman that was like you. All you had to do was pass on your genes for the greater good of this family, but instead you had to go and be a selfish little shit!" He raised the gun then, and I immediately prepared my body for what was to come. The electricity flowed into Michael without hurting him because our bond had converted his body to withstand it as long as we touched; we had our fingers firmly interlocked. Nothing was going to part us.

"I'd say I'm sorry, dad, except I'm not. Renoai genes are extremely dangerous, extremely corruptive. This world has enough corruption in it. I'm not about to add to it."

"Then you're about to die." He pulled the trigger.

At that same millisecond I stopped time, which froze the bullet that was already halfway to us.

"Okay, baby," Michael said. "This is it."

He knew of my hidden power, too.

It was then I saw two paths before me. One is where I sent the bullet back into his father's blackened, corrupted heart. The other is when I simply with one snap of my fingers sent a bolt right into the bullet that disintegrated it entirely.

You see, one path was fueled by fear, fear that if we didn't stop him now he'd just continue to haunt us. The other, however, was faith, faith that our bond was strong enough for Michael to use the voice on his father and have it stick. What happened to us hinged on the choice I made; it was my choice because it was my power.

It all came down to overcoming fear. My depression was the beginning of teaching me how to fight, how to keep holding on despite the darkest of hours, how to summon just enough strength to keep going. Michael was sent my way to teach me how to apply that to a grander scale. To fall in love knowing it'd end in pain. To trust that no matter how it ended, I'd experience absolute, pure completion. All of that combined for this moment in time: trusting that it was not all in vain. So that's exactly what I did. I let myself have complete faith.

I raised my hand, which immediately started time, and snapped my fingers. The bullet disintegrated about a foot from our faces. In the next second before his father had the chance to shoot again, I sent a bolt right at the gun, hot enough not only to make the man drop it, but to melt it as it fell to the sand so that the man couldn't reuse it. I used another bolt to shoot it off into the ocean, just in case.

Finally, we were evenly matched.

Now, it was up to Michael to finish him off. Squaring his shoulders, drawing deep from our bond, Michael spoke with the clearest voice I'd ever heard him use. There was no fear. There was no uncertainty. And that is  _exactly_  the reason it resonated so strongly, having a kind of booming quality to it.

" _Enough with this. You are so blinded by your power, your heart and your soul so corrupted with blackness that you can't even see what you're trying to do. You're trying to kill your only son. I know you loved me once, but I also know that that is long gone now. I am done. I am done being afraid of you. I am done running from you. I AM stronger than you, and I am ordering you to stop this nonsense now and forever! You will never phase again. You will never use your powers. You will be excruciatingly human. You will leave me alone. You will leave my husband alone. You will not seek revenge. You will not come back into our lives ever again. You are fucking done, Ethan. Get the hell out of this place. Get as far away from us as you can. I don't want you remembering my existence. I don't want you remembering my husband's existence. You will never harm another living soul for the rest of your fucking life. Now GO!" _The last word boomed the loudest, and I watched as his father took off towards the road.

Then it was just me and Michael. To the right of us, the sun was beginning to set but for once I didn't notice its beauty, because it was inferior to the beauty of the guy standing before me. I placed my hands on his face.

"We did it," I said softly.

He had his arms around my waist with his hands linked together at the small of my back.

"Yes we did," he said just as softly. Needing to say nothing else, I leaned up for a kiss. The moment his lips touched mine, a golden light flashed and we were abruptly not alone. We pulled back and turned towards the figure walking towards us. I recognized it instantly, and suddenly I knew what it was.

"You're Fate," I said, taking Michael's hand calmly, interlacing my fingers with his.

The figure nodded.

"That I am," It replied.

Michael wasn't shocked, either.

"I saw you in a dream," he stated, sensing that I was curious as to how he'd known.

Fate smiled at us, stopping about two feet away. It was utterly fascinating to me how It was neither male nor female yet both male  _and_ female. It was nothing, yet it was everything.

Fate looked between the two of us for a moment before laying its eyes on me.

"Do you know what happens now?" It asked.

We both shook our heads.

"You live a long and happy life together."

The words slammed into me, not being at all what I had expected. Michael was staring with his mouth open and his eyes wide.

"What??" I breathed. Could it be?

Fate smiled again.

"The thing that soulmates are never told is that the vision is not exactly truth. It's meant as a trigger for the soul mates to find their ultimate path in life. I'm sure the two of you realized from the get go that your year in the life was far different than that in the vision."

We nodded.

"The ending is the biggest lie of it all. Neither one of you was ever destined to die. It is the first test I give to soulmates. To truly live a life of happiness, to reach utter and total completion, they must overcome their fears. They must fall madly in love despite how it will end, and they must give it everything they've got just to gain an understanding of what it is to be true soulmates. You two have done so. I must admit the marriage was a twist I didn't even see coming."

My mouth fell open. There was no way...

Fate nodded.

"It is true. That alone made you so much stronger than I had originally intended, so I had to kick up my tests a couple of notches."

I understood.

"The jealousy," I said.

"Making it lethal," Michael said, "and thus so much harder to beat."

"Was I supposed to have almost died like that?" I asked Fate.

"No. I had overestimated your tolerance. I had created the jealousy far too strong for your body to handle it. That is why when you were slipping away I intervened and told you to go back. I could not force you to go back; you had to make that choice all on your own. It was a very scary moment in time, but also a very teachable one. I must thank you for that. Never in all my years of existence has a couple taught me the way you two have."

I looked at Michael, my mind utterly fucking blown. Here we were, just two guys, and  _we_ by loving each other had taught this eternal entity something new.

"I...uh, you're welcome?"

Fate laughed. It was a sweet, melodic sound.

"That's pretty much it, boys. You found your true path in life. From here on out, for real this time," Fate leveled a look at me, "nothing will get between you two in your marriage. You will have a wonderful fulfilling life together. Are there any questions?"

I looked at Michael and it would seem neither of us could think of anything.

Fate nodded at us. "It's been a pleasure. Take care, boys." It shimmered out of focus until It was gone altogether and it was just me and Michael again.

Michael and I stared at each other as it sank in what this meant.

"We...we get..." tears welled up in my eyes.

Michael's eyes filled with tears, too, but they didn't diminish that look of endless love that had been in them from day one.

With a sobbing laugh I threw myself into my husband's arms. Michael picked me up off my feet and spun me around.

We did it! We really did it!

"I love you so much, Michael Steven Cederine," I said fervently as he set me back on my feet. The sun continued to set beside us, providing the perfect ambiance for this moment.

"I love you more, Kyler Bryant Wirim."

I laughed at that. "More my ass, Michael."

He smiled wide. "Well, we have a lifetime to prove it."

That we did. We shared the first kiss of many to come in our new lifetime together.

We were finally home.

**_The End._ **


End file.
